Friendships take time to develop, and they do at a very natural, spontaneous pace. In fact, if you look at some of your friendships, you will have no idea how they got so strong.
However, sometimes you may want to speed up that process or strengthen your already existing friendships. As long as this has a positive aim, mindfully using some of the tricks we’ll discuss means creating a healthy bond.
To help you out, we have compiled a list of 11 scientifically proven strategies that will get people to like you more.
Also known as mirroring, this strategy involves subtly mimicking other’s behavior. Some empaths have a difficult time not to do this, although they are doing it unconsciously.
The trick is to copy the other person’s body language, gestures and facial expressions. This way they are more likely to see themselves in you and thus feel more related to you. Be careful not to look phony, though.
A 1999 New York University study has named this the ‘chameleon effect’, where people unconsciously mimic each other’s behavior. The results of the study showed that the participants felt a greater bond with those who mimicked their movements and behavior.
People like things they are more familiar with. This effect is known as the mere exposure effect.
Being around a person more will make that person automatically like you more. This is why you should make efforts to see that person on a regular basis and, with that, create a subconscious bond.
In fact, MIT researchers and another University of Pittsburgh study show that the frequency of a physical presence of a person attributes to a greater affinity towards that same person.
The phenomenon called spontaneous trait transference means that the adjectives you use to describe other people are going to be the same ones people start associating with you.
This means that if you decide to describe people using positive words and adjectives, those same qualities will be spontaneously ascribed to you by those listening. So, if you tell that a person is kind and genuine, the listener will start associating those same traits with you.
The same goes with negative adjectives. Talking negatively about people behind their backs will eventually backfire. The listener will simply start associating those negative traits with you.
A study published by the American Psychological Association notes that this transference is very influential in the way people see you. In fact, the effect occurred even when the participants knew that some traits didn’t describe the people it was talked about.
If you want others to feel great in your presence, make sure to communicate positive emotions. This is what is called emotional contagion and it means that people unconsciously start to feel the emotions that you are experiencing.
So, when hanging out with people, make sure you communicate positive emotions. Next time these people think of you, they will associate that positive emotion they experienced with you.
The same goes with negative emotions, so be careful of what kind of effect you wish to create in the mind of the other person.
This has been a very well-known fact: The friends of your friends are automatically your friends too. It’s just a question in time when you meet them in person.
The effect called triadic closure points to the fact that you are more likely to be closer to a person when you have a common friend with them.
The social media gravitates mainly around this phenomenon. Students at the University of British Columbia have found that you are 20% likely to accept a friend request from a person with no mutual friends, compared to the 80% likeliness when that same person has more than 11 mutual friends.
The amount and frequency of compliments is a key factor in determining whether the other person will like you more or less. This is what the gain-loss theory of interpersonal attractiveness suggests.
In an experiment done in 1965, it was discovered that people liked others best when they heard comments about them going from negative to positive. The most negative reactions came when the comments went from positive to negative.
This means that although you don’t have to start off with negative comments, don’t spoil the other person with compliments from the very start. Give compliments with moderation and don’t be shy to give positive criticism.
Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy has found that people judge others from first look based on two questions.
The question ‘Can I trust this person?’ correlates to the warmth of that person, whereas the question ‘Can I respect this person?’ correlates to the competence of that same person.
The stereotype content model is a theory which states that people instantly judge others on the basis of warmth and competence.
What’s important is that you should always be warm towards people, as the trust the other person can gain towards you is very important. You should then show your competence and give them a reason to respect you.
If you try to go the other way around, the whole thing may backfire. Cuddy says that competence is only evaluated after trust is established.
The pratfall effect shows that people will like you more after you make an innocent mistake. This likeability comes as a response to you acting naturally and not being ‘all-perfect’, as nobody is.
In an experiment, it was shown that people feel more attracted to a superior person if they commit a clumsy mistake. This mistake makes them more human, and thus more attractive to the other people.
A study by Theodore Newcomb showed that people are more likely to feel closer to one another if they have shared values and attitudes about certain topics. This effect is known as the similarity-attraction effect.
So, when you want to get friendly with someone, try to spot common values and emphasize them. They will be the ones that fuel up your friendship and communication.
Casually touching people creates closeness. It is also known as subliminal touching, which happens when you unconsciously touch a person by their arm, shoulder or when you tap their back.
Studies have shown that subliminal touching increase the quality of communication between people and the chances of a person to be put higher on the ‘like’ scale.
Such experiment was the University of Mississippi and Rhodes College experiment, which showed that waitresses would always receive bigger tips if they touched the customers on the hand or shoulder when they were returning their change.
- Smile – as often and as frequently
A study showed that smiling when you meet someone ensures that the person remembers you later.
Smiling creates a positive picture about yourself in the eyes of others and you are more likely to be remembered and associated with that positive picture in the future.
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A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from health, nutrition and psychology.