As we transition into adulthood, we often find our circle of friends begins to shrink and we are not surprised. As time goes by, we grow older, people start to get married, have kids; some move, others change and so on.
Life often comes in our way and a whole new myriad of obligations restrain us, preventing us from spending quality time with our friends and not all of have the patience or the will to stick it out.
With the rise of social media and the development of technology, human interaction has gone to hell. Some of us don’t even know how to strike up a conversation anymore.
Lifelong bonds with friends are marvelous, but not always possible. Between juggling work and home, we often find ourselves having less and less time for our friends so our adult friendships take the back seat.
So how does one make new friends and maintain strong relationships with the old ones as an adult?
The one thing you have to remember is: it’s all up to you! You shouldn’t be surprised if some of your old friends have started to ditch your calls after a while. You have to nourish the relationship in order to keep it alive and well.
If you can’t find the time to go out with your friends, just ring them up and have a nice chat. Don’t forget to call your friends on a regular basis just to let them know that you’re thinking about them and that they too count in your life. They have to know that you haven’t forgotten about them. Also, surely you can find the time to go out for a quick drink on a Friday night? Take the initiative, invite a friend to dinner or simply drop by for a visit. It’s easy, but this goes for the old friends and keeping old friends is much easier than making new friends.
When it comes to making new friends, it’s a bit different. Adding friends on Facebook is easy and it doesn’t count. When was the last time you met a new friend in real life?
If you feel that your social skills are a bit rusty, you need to brush up on those and begin reconnecting with your old friends and start making new ones.
We do live in the age of social media and technology, so let’s start there. Try to connect with your contacts on Twitter and Facebook. You do share the same interests, so why not try to take the relationship further.
Ask an acquaintance to a show or a concert. You are sure to have a good time and it will give you the opportunity to get to know each other better.
Another great place to make new friends is work. Try to connect with some of your coworkers. Your new best friend might be just around the corner.
Go out for a drink all by yourself. You just might run into someone who shares the same interests. It’s worth the risk and you might end up having a blast!
Stop being defensive and start opening up. As we grow up, we tend to put up a wall of fear around us and letting new people in through that door can be quite a feat. We are too scared of being hurt. Risk it: give someone a chance.
Join a book club or find some other activity that has other regular participants. Go to the gym; join a hiking club, a parent-teacher association and so on. You are sure to meet other like-minded people there.
Don’t forget your family members. My sister is my best and oldest friend. My mother is also a very close and dear friend. You must have someone in your family that you are close to, a cousin or an aunt perhaps. Family members make great friends.
The most important thing of all: be true to yourself and others. Adults don’t have time to waste on pettiness and games. We all strive to find honesty and truthfulness. We need someone that understands us; someone that will be our rock on a stormy day.
Having passions in life is great, but people are the ones that enrich our existence.
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