“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”, says Jim Rohn, famous American author, motivational speaker and entrepreneur.
Certainly, the type of personalities you are surrounded with influences your self-esteem, motivation, attitude, and finally, success. I am sure you have all had an experience of positive energy transmission by spending time with optimistic and communicative individuals.
On the contrary, the personality types that spread negative influence are much more numerous. On the top of that list are – the narcissists.
Narcissism, defined as a mild mental disorder, involves exaggerated perception of one’s significance and deep need to receive admiration and recognition from the others.
These self-centered people are unable to see the world from the perspective of someone else, and classify only their opinion, desires and plans as important.
In the fight to play the main role in every situation, narcissist can manipulate, lie or offend those that do not accept them with full admiration.Namely, they have a repetitive form of behavior.
Here are 7 clear signs that will help you recognize them, and thus deal with them easily:
1.Me, me, me
This is the first and the obvious sign you are dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists are egocentric people – they want to present themselves as the best, the smartest and the funniest.
They can go hours-long story telling about their smart decisions that changed everything, explaining experiences in which they are the hero or forcing others to agree with their opinions.
Don’t be astonished if they change the topic in a middle of a conversation and start bragging out of nowhere.
2. The Accomplishments Downplay
Being in a same environment with someone more fortunate or more successful, is unbearable for a narcissist as these people are unable to share other people’s happiness.
They deal with the situation, unfortunately, by either ignoring or downplaying the accomplishments of their family, friends and colleagues.
Narcissists at a workplace have a tendency to diminish the work done by their subordinates and make them try harder to satisfy their bosses’ requirements by obeying his/her orders.
3. Aggression and Fear
Although narcissists are very often associated with a charming behavior, the reality is a bit different. Frequently, they show symptoms of passive aggressive behavior by being offensive, complaining about being misunderstood by the others, expressing jealousy towards the more successful and over- criticizing authorities.
They enter a state in which they want to attract attention by opposing everything and everyone. At instances, they go as far as verbally insulting their friends or colleagues as that gives them a sense of supremacy and power.
4. The Victim Game
Narcissists are experts in playing games and the victim game is one of their most common forms of behavior. They tend to exaggerate the “difficulty” of the situation they are in, to overstate their problems and talk about embroidered health issues.
Going as far as inventing problems is not uncommon as well. The psychology behind this behavior lies in their need to attract attention – by making others feel pity.
Moreover, this is a very often used tactics in a situation when a narcissist wants to disguise a misbehavior or mistake they have done. They avoid being blamed for something but rushing in and taking the position of a victim.
5. The Triangulation game
Sometimes, narcissists are in desperate need to have someone that will support them in the arguments. The so-called “triangulation game” they use is very simple: they involve a third party in a conversation, and persuade him or her that the opponent is in a complete wrong, until a fight is initiated by the two individuals.
In that way, narcissist gets a feeling that someone else supports him/her because they were right in a first place.
6. I am sorry – It’s all your fault!
This game goes one step further then the accomplishments downplay. When a narcissist feels that his/her superior position in a situation is threatened, he/she chooses “blame the other” tactic.
By passing the guilt onto the others, they regain their back their feelings of dominance and importance.
7. This is me, like it or not!
Unfortunately, it is almost impossible that a narcissist would ever change. Narcissist Personality Disorder is a medical condition that can be treated only if the person wants to change.
Therapy would not function on somebody that is not aware that he or she has a problem, or even worse, offering a help can initiate an outburst of rage and anger, as they will feel their ego is hurt.
Therefore, healing a narcissist is not something we can do easily. However, what we can do is learn their tactics, and always be a step ahead.
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