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Get It Through Your Heads: It’s Not A Woman’s Responsibility To Make A Man A Better Person


Let’s get one thing straight once and for all. Women don’t want to be rehabilitation centers for traumatized, badly raised, immature and generally troubled men.

We don’t want to raise you; we want to grow and flourish together.

So, what’s up with this “She makes me want to become a better person”?

I mean, I get. It’s supposed to be a compliment. It is supposed to let me know that you are so madly in love with me that you genuinely adore the way my presence in your life influences you. It supposed to flatter me and make me proud of how strong I am. It’s supposed to make me feel as though I am a superhero. I understand all of that.

But… you know what? It’s not flattering at all. If you ask me, it’s all bullsh*t.

And what’s even more disturbing, it’s everywhere around us. Everywhere you look, regardless of which segment of life you are analyzing, women are constantly expected to be these strong, almighty, superhero humans who are always there to lend a helping hand or fix the guy who has trouble to do that on his own.

Let’s take the Childish Gambino’s music video for example. Halfway through the video, a sad and troubled Kanye appears. For some reason, Michelle Obama hugs him, lifts his spirits and suddenly he is fine again. What’s up with that? Are you seriously telling me that Kanye secretly needs to be saved by a strong, brave woman like Michelle?

Here’s what. We already have enough baggage on our shoulders. We do everything in our power to be good moms, loving friends, loyal partners. We fight with the oppression almost 24 hours a week, we try hard to excel in our career, we struggle to find time for self-care, we run the household and etc. and etc. And now all of a sudden, we are expected to be responsible for inspiring men to become better human beings?

Hell no!

Don’t you think we need inspiring and lifting up as well?

So, then who will inspire us?

I don’t know if you know but we are flawed as well. We are trying to become better human beings too. And it is pretty damn hard if you ask me, but you know how we do it? By diving deep within. That’s where we search for our strength and willingness to be more and do more. Because that is something every human being is supposed to do in their life if they want to find true happiness.

We are busy, overwhelmed, exhausted, troubled and not so strong as some of you sometimes think. So, taking responsibility for another grown human being is not on our priority list. And it will never be!

We don’t want to raise our partner. We want someone who would try hard to become a better person by learning from his own mistakes and going through things without our influence or our inspiration. The fact that a woman is a kind, decent and an admirable person doesn’t mean that she should be a man’s main guidance in life. Being there for another person is one thing and being expected to always be there for someone because you are a woman is completely another.

Why is it that when a man is struggling with something, the woman who stays with him is considered loyal and loving, but when a woman is going through some stuff and the man leaves her, he successfully dodged a bullet?

How come women supporting troubled men is a common thing, and men supporting troubled women is a rarity?

What about us? We fall apart the same way that you do. Sometimes it’s even more painful. And yet, we still manage to somehow suck it all in and find the strength within us to move on.

Stop holding us accountable for your personal growth. I know that this might come off as harsh and that some of you mean this in a good way, but just stop it. This is really getting out of hand. Instead of expecting a woman to fix you, try to fix yourself. Be better. Do better. Grow. Fall. Rise up. Learn from your mistakes. At your own pace.

We are not responsible for your actions. Nor we’ll ever be.