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Who Says Marriage Means ‘Settling Down’?

By
Mary Wright

Do your fears of having to “settle down” make the idea of marriage sound horrible to you? If they do, it is time to let go of your fears.

Many people will advise you to get married only when you are done with everything else – getting your degree, traveling, partying, exploring new things, and so on. Because, according to them, the moment you’ll tie the knot all your previous passions will end.

Many magazines cite ‘not being ready’ as a number one valid reason for not getting married. They advise that before deciding to ‘say yes’ to your partner, you should first say ‘yes’ to yourself.

Meaning, you should focus on building your career, traveling the world and discovering new things, as well as continuously working on yourself and your spiritual growth.

And it is true that many people are just not ready for marriage. However, I don’t agree that getting married means settling down and stopping to work on yourself and pursuing your passions.  

Who says that your life should end once you get married? What if it actually gets bigger and better? What if marriage could actually fuel your passions and inspire you to become even better at your endeavors?  

I know people who were more ‘settled down’ when they were single. They were less successful in pursuing their dreams and aspirations because, at that time, they were their own motivators. And because they were the only ones who would miss out, it was easier for them to put off the things they needed to do.

I have one friend who was always dreaming of becoming a professional artist. Before she got married she became worried that she would never achieve her dream.

However, her husband was a major support for her, and their joined incomes and resources have helped her to go after her passion for painting.

Dr. Karen Swallow Prior said in an article that young people (especially women) should view marriage as a cornerstone of their life – not a capstone.

And ‘settling down’ is only a reflection of people’s mentality toward life in general. Your marriage should be a driving force for you to achieve your full potential and not a thing that you settle for once you’ve achieved your goals.

Think about it for a moment. What’s stopping you?

Do you want to bungee-jump? Jump together!

Do you want to have a successful career? Find a partner that will support you.

Do you want a fancy car and a luxurious penthouse? You’ll get them faster if you are saving money together.

Finally, marriage would make you more inspired to achieve your dreams because it is not only you that would miss out – your spouse and your kids would be also missing out opportunities if you fail.

 And what’s a bigger motivator than that?

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This Is The Reason Why Marriages Are Falling Apart, According To Divorce Lawyers

By
Stephanie Reeds

It seems like the marriage business is blooming more than ever. Wedding locations are being prearranged even mouths ago and every girl’s white-gown dream finally comes true.

But as young couples and hopeful newlyweds rush to make the “till death do us part” step and reveal the eternal secret of preserving intimacy as well as sustain marital bliss, there is one piece of advice that often makes its way unnoticed. The same issue is making divorce lawyers raise the alarm.

There, at the end of the of the list, around every conflict and wound accumulated throughout years of marriage, divorce lawyers started noticing a trend: Porn is ruining marriage.

The American Academy of Matrimonial in 2002 through informal meeting survey 350 divorce attorneys and found that around 60 percent of them reported how pornography played a valuable role in the divorces, with the accent on online pornography being responsible for more than half of the cases.

John Mathews*, Family Law and Divorce Attorney, has also found that porn is a serious issue which might be influencing marriages. Mathew explains that general practice has shown that, in most cases, spouses deny indulging in porn.

However, after discovery, the process in which every spouse is given a list with questions to answer under oath, and during digging back and forth between various complaints, Mathews has clearly seen that pornography plays a significant role in destroyed marriages.

He also stated that porn is often mentioned in complaints of “Constructive Desertation”, or better known as leaving the marriage as a result of withdrawal from sexual intimacy. Mathew explains that he dealt with several cases in which husbands couldn’t stop engaging in porn, which in turn induced withdrawing from quality intimate time spent with his wife.

“I have had many cases where the husband won’t even touch his wife and several cases in which the spouses have not had sex in three or four years,” Mathews says.

Moreover, Mathews explains that indulging in porn takes its toll by creating unrealistic expectations for physical intimacy and the sexual intercourse itself.

But apart from lawyers being highly involved in this trend, there are also few others who are concerned with this particular field.

In 2005 Dr. Jill Manning a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in sexual addiction, pornography, or betrayal trauma, brought her research in porn and its connection before the Senate. As Manning stated, 56 percent of the divorce cases showed one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.

On the same topic, Dr. John Gothman, a renowned professor in Psychology and well known for his work on marital stability, addresses the readers in 2016 through an open and heartfelt letter in which he explains the varying theories on how to manage porn usage in a marriage.

According to Dr. Gothman, many marriage therapists more than often recommend the use of porn, especially by men, as a natural and harmless way to get in touch with their sexuality. He admits that in the past, he recommended the same to struggling couples in order to increase intimacy after childbirth.

But, in his letter in 2016, Dr. Gothman corrected himself and now stands by the research that indicates porn is indeed causing marriages to come crashing down. His years of analysis through scientific observations align with the same thing lawyers have been witnessing for the last fifteen years: Porn usage destroys marital intimacy and eventually increases the chance that your marriage will end.

So, for all of us hopeful Millennials who look with content and satisfaction to tie the knot with the love of our life, this warning couldn’t have come urgently enough. The chances are your partner won’t stop watching porn. It’s a fact that it’s addictive. According to a study in 2006, 84 percent of people at the age from 18 to 49 view porn. That will basically include every other person you know in your life.

So, no, we shouldn’t shame and accuse our partner of watching porn, but when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship, couples who communicate about all its benefits or disadvantages and create boundaries to protect their marriage are the ones who’ll eventually manage to survive the unavoidable marriage crisis.

What do you think? Is porn really affecting the course of a relationship? And more importantly, have you ever tried discussing this matter with your partner?

*Attorney’s name was changed, at his request, to protect the privacy of his clients.

5 Clues That Your Boyfriend Should Be Your Future Husband

By
Mary Wright

How can you know that marrying your boyfriend is a decision worth making?

Well, you couldn’t really know and be 100% sure in the beginning, of course, but as time passes and you both are deep into the relationship – an undeniable feeling of destiny will inevitably begin to grow in you, giving you the prospect of a joyful reality and future.

Because saying ‘I do’ to someone you love should be the easiest thing to do.

Here are 5 telltale clues that will tell you if your boyfriend is a husband material.

1. YOU ARE GREAT FRIENDS AT THE CORE

Many marriage experts agree that one of the most important things in a marriage is friendship among partners. It is not that you should have to be best friends, but you do need a partnership based on mutual respect, playfulness, caring, companionship, and shared life goals – which are all qualities of a true friendship.

2. YOU LEARN FROM EACH OTHER

Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and a marriage researcher, advises that couples that want to have healthy and positive relationships need to allow their partner to influence them. This means that they respect each other and value the other person’s beliefs and the unique qualities that they bring to the table.

3. YOU HANDLE PROBLEMS WELL

According to Dr. Gottman, it is not whether the couple has problems or not that determines the future of their relationship, but how they handle and respond to their problems is the key factor for a successful relationship.

They should avoid criticism and putting the blame on the other person. When a couple looks at problems constructively and they see them as challenges that they need to overcome – their relationship will grow and will become healthier in turn.

4. YOU REALLY WANT IT TO WORK

Even though it may sound silly to say that wanting your relationship to turn into marriage is a sign, but when you think about it – it is! People often get married because they feel that that’s the next step they should do, or they find themselves doubting whether their partner is the right one or not.

However, the only question you should be asking yourself is do you really want to marry your partner and why. Because, at the end of the day, it all boils down to whether you truly want to marry and not just because you think it is the right thing to do.

5. YOU CAN VISUALIZE (LITERALLY) YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER

A great test to see if your boyfriend should be your future husband is whether or not you think he will be a good father. Also, you should also be able to visualize what parenting would look like for both of you – how will you function together as a family. Do you see you and your partner as team players?

Because, parenthood is hard. You need to have someone at your side when stress and unpredictability enter your relationship. And when it comes to deciding how you will parent your child, you both need to have shared values and make the needed sacrifices and compromises for the sake of your marriage.

Finally, at the end of the day, you can have all these boxes checked but you can still be unhappy if you are not sure that you want to marry your partner from the bottom of your heart.

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Anxiety Can Often Translate Into Anger, Scientists Explain

By
Elizabeth Williams

Most people think that anxiety means the inability to fall asleep, tossing and turning in bed, worrying, biting nails, and experiencing episodes of complete isolation from the world when it gets really tough. And although this is true for many who suffer from anxiety, there are also some less obvious signs it can translate into.

To the surprise of many, several studies have pinpointed anger as a sign of intense anxiety. In fact, for people living with ongoing anxiety, anger can often take the place of an anxiety attack, and these two states often intertwine.

In fact, the research has shown that the anxiety-anger relationship works in two ways: anger can intensify anxiety, and anxiety can present itself as anger. This only intensifies the anxiety symptoms among people diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

The research team led by Sonya Deschênes wanted to see how anger and its specific components (such as hostility, verbal and physical aggression, anger expression, and anger control) contributed to anxiety.

After assessing more than 380 participants, the team found that people who exhibited symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder also had higher levels of anger.

Which is more, they discovered that internalized anger and hostility further contributed to the severity of the symptoms of GAD. This goes to support experts’ idea that anxiety and anger go hand in hand, and that there is a unique relation between GAD and heightened levels of anger.

While it is still unclear why anxiety and anger co-occur, a possible explanation given by the researchers is that during ambiguous situations, the same thought process is being triggered in both anxious and easily-angered people, leading them to assume the worst.

“Anger and GAD may be two manifestations of the same biased thought process,” explains Deschênes.

Dr. Gregory Jantz, a counselor, and author of Overcoming Anxiety, Worry, and Fear, suggests that anger may be the result of an unhealthy coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety.

“Both anxiety and anger produce and use adrenaline. When that adrenaline is routed from anxiety to anger, the anxiety takes second position,” he explains in a blog post. “Anxiety leaves you feeling out of control and vulnerable. Anger makes you feel powerful. Compared to each other, anger can appear the clear winner.”

However, this approach doesn’t help in the long run. As Dr. Jantz argues, even if anger can help you to let go of the fear in the short run, it leaves you susceptible in the long run.

“Once the anger dissipates, the body is still in a heightened state, just waiting for the fear to reassert itself. Anger is not peaceful; it is not calming. It produces no sense of serenity. It provides no hedge of protection against anxiety.”

As Deschênes also explains, anger can, in fact, worsen the anxiety symptoms and reduce the benefits of treatment.

So, are you angry instead of anxious? Perhaps you should reconsider your choice in reaction and pay more attention to facing it instead of replacing it with a similarly destructive state.

Never forget that nobody is perfect and that we all suffer from some kind of disorder we’re not aware of. Your awareness of your anxiety gives you the upper hand in facing it and finding ways of treating it for good. You should never be afraid or ashamed of asking for help from professionals and loved ones.  

 

Sources:
PsychCentral
Dr. Gregory Jantz

The Best Relationship Of Your Life Will Be With The Person Who Does These 12 Things

By
Stephanie Reeds

1. The one who pays their undivided attention to you

I wish you find someone who’ll look into your eyes and listen to every word you say whenever you’re hurt and want to talk. The person who’ll make everything in their power to see you smile despite life being hard as hell. The one who can’t wait to see you even after being one day apart. And the moment you see that glistening spark in their eyes, your heart starts to pound so hard, you realize you don’t have enough words to describe how much you love them.

2. The person who commits to you

The one whose heart is spoken for, the moment they laid eyes on you. Someone who’ll commit their life making your own little heaven on Earth. Someone who’ll get out of their comfort zone to meet you half way. The person who won’t make excuses but rather make enough place in their life for you to settle in.

3. Someone who embraces your flaws and encourages you to grow

You’ll feel it in your guts, in the butterflies inside you. You’ll feel the presence of your soulmate when they make that initial step and enter your life. That person will accept you and cherish you for your individuality and silly flaws. The one true soulmate who will encourage you to grow in your worst hopeless moments.

4. The one who is proud to have you

I wish you find someone who’ll be proud to have you in their life and won’t give it a second thought to introduce you to their closest circles. Someone who’ll celebrate your achievements and praise your efforts in front of everyone. The person who’ll wake up next to you and beam with content at the thought of how much you mean to them.

5. Someone who will be vulnerable in front of you

Find that person who won’t be afraid to be themselves around you. The one who wears their heart on the sleeve and isn’t afraid to show their intense and most mysterious thoughts. The person who’ll be comfortable to cry their soul out in front of you. The person who’ll consider you as their “safe place” when all their world comes crashing down.

 6. The person who handles life with maturity

Someone who’ll respect you even when you two are on the verge of a serious breakdown. Someone who’ll let you know he is annoyed and won’t bottle things up. A person who always abandons their EGO whenever your relationship is at stake and is willing to make compromises.

7. Someone who gets thrilled about the future spent with you

The one who’ll be eager to finally stand on their own feet and spend their life with you. Your destined person with whom you take pleasure making plans about your life ahead of you. The person with whom you’ve already planned the color of your bedroom wall. Someone you can’t wait to marry you and spend an eternity of adventures together.

8. A person who compliments you

Someone who greets you with “Good morning, beautiful” no matter how grumpy you might look. The one who makes you feel sexy even when you’re only wearing your stained hoodie. The person who’ll never forget to tell you how gorgeous you look whenever they have the chance.

9. Someone who has fun whenever they’re with you

Be with the person who always finds a way to crack you up, even when you’re on the verge of crying your heart out. The one with whom you laugh at all the unappropriate jokes until your stomach aches. In those stupid, silly moments when you are out of things to say, but they magically manage to pull one out of their sleeve and make you laugh hard until it hurts.

10. The one who goes out of their way for you

Someone who’ll sacrifice themselves for you. A person who’ll reschedule their busy week If it means he’ll get to see you only for an hour. Someone who’ll hold your hand and tell you “everything’s going to be okay” while waiting for your results at the doctor’s office. The only one who’ll get out of work rushing to calm your panic attacks and hold you in their nook until you finally calm down and fall asleep.

11. Someone who deeply loves you, even your darkest bits

I truly wish you find your destined person. The one whose heart pounds hard whenever they hear your voice and their smile shines the brightest when they hug you. The person who felt like they knew you from a past life the second they saw you and fell deeply in love with you. And with time drifting away, the more they reveal your true self, the harder they fall for you.

12. Someone who takes care of you

The one who’ll wake you up with the perfect breakfast surprise and make love to you the whole day.  The person who’ll hold you in their arms when you feel sick and won’t fall asleep until your fever burns out. Someone who is going to take care of your body as well as your soul.

 

 

 

Image Copyright: bedya / 123RF Stock Photo

Is This The Most Beautiful Girl In The World? 6-Year-Old Russian Child Model Is Praised As The New Thylane Blondeau

By
Mary Wright

Nowadays, age is not important when it comes to praising beauty.

One young Russian girl, aged only 6, is already being praised around the world and has been given the title of “the most beautiful girl in the world.” She has already over half a million followers.

Anastasia Knyazeva is a very successful child model who possesses doll-like facial features.

She has already been a star in numerous campaigns, and it seems like she is following the footsteps of the French model Thylane Blondeau, who was also seen as the most beautiful girl in the world when she was 6, and now at 16 is a widely recognized and successful model.

President Kids Management represents her, and this little girl has already been the face of brands such as Chobi Kids.

Her mother Anna runs her Instagram profile and updates it constantly with posting pictures of Anastasia from photo shoots and backstage photos.

This young star receives thousands of likes and comments on her photos by fans stretching from Brazil to Indonesia.  

“OMG… I think she is the most beautiful girl on the earth!!,” “She really looks like a doll,” are some of the comments.

She is already voted to be the face of Little Miss Aoki, which is a luxury couture house for children. Moreover, Russian major brands such as Kisabiano and Amoreco have worked with this lovely young model.

Her fans have even compared her to the Russian model Irina Shayk, saying that she might be even more successful when she grows up.

And, really, with her cuteness and doll-like beauty, a successful modeling career looks very promising and not so far ahead for little Anastasia.

But, how do you think being exposed to the media from such a young age will affect her personality? 

Share your thoughts in the comments. 

15 Things People Don’t Notice You Are Doing Because You Have Self-Respect Now

By
Stephanie Reeds

Self-respect means giving and defining your own worth and values. It begins with self-accepting, taking pride in your own work and being confident of who you are no matter what anyone says.

Just think for a second. If you don’t respect yourself, it’s way more difficult to respect anyone else. When we truly learn to accept all our flaws and failures, we can eventually come to terms with the things beyond our control. That’s when we know we grabbed life by the horns.

Here are 15 things you start practicing without people realizing it when you regain self-respect:

1. Letting go of the past. Regardless of what happened at a certain point in your life, you’ve grown and learned that what’s done is done, the only thing we’re certain of is the PRESENT moment. Make it count!

2. Placing yourself on top of the list. Some might consider it selfish, but at the end of the day, it’s your wellbeing we’re talking about. If you don’t care for yourself, who will? Self-care and self-love are the number one priority before everything else.

3. Disappearing on people you don’t own explanation to. Or better known as ghosting. Yes, one of the most mature things to do is having that painful and awkward conversation about leaving them. But, there are times when it seems like you did all you could, and deep inside you know that the other person doesn’t deserve anything more than just plain abandonment.

4. Not owing justification to anyone about anything. Your choice is your right. No more explanation for why you left someone, who are you dating, why you aren’t talking. You don’t owe anything to anyone. Your life is your decision. Remember that!

5. Going home when you want to go home. Doing something when you feel like it. Saying NO, when your answer is NO. Not going out when you don’t feel like going out. No longer feeling the silly need to make unnecessary excuses for a “No thanks, I’m just chilling tonight by myself.” Who would have thought it’s that simple when you put it like that?

6. Not accepting anyone’s meaningless apologies if they’re not followed by some activity that justifies their statement.

7. Avoiding the people you dislike. No longer engaging with negative people who poison your world. You are well aware of whom you give your energy and time. Being polite sometimes has its limits. It should never get to the point where you end up hurt while trying to please someone.

8. Not blaming others for the way you feel. Happiness is solely based on our own actions and comes from within. You learned that in order to nurture a healthy relationship with a person, one must first practice self-acceptance and achieve wholeness.

9. Being unreservedly creative and not caring what others think of it. You left the fear of being judged by others and gave yourself the freedom to express your creativity in every way your soul and mind requires.

10. No longer trying to convince people to like you. You stopped faking it all together. You don’t need the validation anymore. You know who you are and, most importantly, you know who you’ve become. You’ve learned that peace of mind comes from only loving and accepting yourself no matter what someone might think of you. And somewhere down the line you actually fell in love with the fact that you don’t need to be liked by everyone.

11. Taking absolute responsibility for your life. No more idle sitting by while your life and opportunities pass you for good. You are aware that laziness and unwillingness are only holding you back, so you decide to take the matter into your hands. The only key to success is action!

12. Being your true unique self. The most important rule on the list is always being true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to cut something off as long as it interferes with your values. Stand your ground and don’t let people make you something you aren’t.

13. Not working a job you hate. You should never accept a job that will make you feel miserable. Something much more appealing will definitely cross your path. Embrace and upgrade your abilities and find something that you are good at. When you work the thing you love, you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

14. No more people-pleasing. No more crossing the line in order to make others feel happy on your account. You learned to respect yourself and your needs. If they don’t accept you then they don’t deserve to be a part of you.

15. You embraced a positive outlook on life. It was the hard way, but you figured you need a positive attitude to go through life. Despite all the negativity spreading everywhere like a grey cloud storm, there will always be light. You just have to be patient enough to perceive it.

11 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People

By
Stephanie Reeds

You may know him as the shy kid in your class that was easily subjected to bullies, the girl who prefers her coffee all by herself, or that cute boy at the school dance standing alone in the corner.

Introverts. Deriving from the Latin intro (on the inside) and vertere (to turn) defines those unique individuals who take their pleasure specifically in their own hands and energize by spending time by themselves.

They are often considered as shy, distant, indifferent and “stuck up” because they keep a low profile. Introverts don’t tend to center themselves as the life of the party, but it’s known for a fact that they are the most incredibly attractive and wonderful people you’ll ever meet.

Here’s why:

 

1. They Are Mysterious

Most of the crowd finds these people incredibly attractive because of their low-key attitude and their mysterious nature. These people have a mysterious aura about them and it is no wonder they’re perceived as captivating.

You can never know what’s going on inside their head, so you see them as a challenge. It is the magic of the undiscovered that sets us on fire and makes us wonder even more. However, the downside of this trait is leaving people intimidated by introverts which eventually is followed by labeling them as weird.

2. They Take Care Of Themselves

As a sign of their closeted nature, introverts learned to take care of their wellbeing. Don’t mistake them for selfish people because introverts actually enjoy taking their time to nurture their body and soul. It’s their way to recharge and rejuvenate.

They don’t want to draw any unwanted attention to themselves. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean they enjoy being antisocial. Whenever they decide to blend in, it is with the crowd that would suit them the most.

3. They Are Loyal

With that being said, introverts actually care a lot about the people in their life. Because of their distinctive nature of figuring things alone, they’re very cautious with whom they choose to spend their time with.

No matter if it’s a romantic or a social relationship, an introvert is loyal to the grave and invests a whole lot of time and energy into it. Most introverts will not put any effort to maintain a wide network of people. Instead, they’ll choose a few people they re the most connected with and devote their heart to them.

4. They’re Natural Listeners

Everyone out there dreams of having that perfect soulmate who’ll be there for them whenever they need to talk. A person who’ll sometimes only listen and will listen as long as the other person needs it.

One of the introvert’s superpowers is their ability to listen. They listen more than they actually speak. They will stay by your side and listen to you in a special way to understand you, and not merely to reply. And those traits are among the rarest.

5. They Are Deep Thinkers

They tend to think a lot. Introverts usually get lost in their own “safe place” where they can spend some time alone with their thoughts. And I mean that in a positive manner. Alone time is their sacred wondering-off-to-Neverland time.

There is a hurricane of thoughts and emotions inside their minds that we might never know of. But, when an introvert has to say something, you can bet they carefully elaborated on the subject and formed an outstanding opinion supported by all the relevant arguments.

6. They Cherish Their “Alone Time”

Whether they’re off to the library to study alone at peace, sat in the local restaurant for a lovely after work lunch, introverts genuinely know how to treasure their own sacred time.

7. They Are Mindful Of What They Say

Nothing will make you look foolish or unattractive faster than uttering some inappropriate words because you didn’t take time to consider the meaning of your words.

Introverts, on the contrary, think before they speak. As a matter of fact, they would rather not say a word, than saying something they didn’t go through in their minds in the first place. But when an introvert speaks, be prepared to be left in awe. The more they speak the more fascinated you become.

 8. They Are Creative Geniuses

One of the many upsides of being an introvert is the ability to indulge in creative thinking. According to studies the most outstandingly creative people in many fields are often introverted.

One of the main key ingredients for their creative mind is solitude. Introverts cherish their freedom and “safe place” far away from interruption. In that state of solitude, introverts can easily get in touch with their inner voice and ask the right questions.

 9. They Are Smart

Introverts are naturally drawn to reading and studying. They enjoy getting out of their “comfort zone” and unravel new interesting facts all by themselves. You might say they are the ultimate bookworms. But intelligent is the new sexy, am I right?

10. They Are Day-Dreamers

You are already aware that our best Eureka moments are often ignited by our minds wandering off elsewhere. And day-dreaming is one of the best ways to get there. Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman explains that a mind that wonders a lot aids in the process of “creative incubation”.

Introverted people as we know them, tend to get lost in their own world inside their mind. And that’s where the most refreshing and ingenious ideas come from.

11. They Are Hyper Observant

The world is an introverts Utopia of endless possibilities. An introvert mind doesn’t seem to rest and see things that people usually fail to perceive. In their serene peace of mind, they’re constantly taking information and use it for creative expression.

12 Ways To Bring Positive Energy Back Into Your Life

By
Stephanie Reeds

We’ve all felt it.

Negativity approaching us as a dark black cloud that walks slowly in our room. This cloud appears anytime we are the victims of a disappointing circumstance or even when there actually isn’t anything there, but we’re already so full of pessimism that we just can’t help it.

The thing is, we’ve all had miserable days, but the thing we tend to overlook is that every moment we have a choice to deal with the challenges that life inflicts on us.

Life won’t always be pink skies and unicorns, and whenever we’re faced with some difficulty it’s up to us to pick a method to deal with it.

Will you let negativity trap you in its imaginary shell or would you rather surround your mind with positive, more constructive thoughts?

If you’re already in a place where you feel hopeless, here are some useful tips to increase your positive energy by staying in touch with your inner peace.

1. Learn to exist in the PRESENT MOMENT

One of the most important golden rules, in order to increase positivity, is to live and feel the charm of the present moment. What’s been and gone lives in the past and what’s bound to eventually happen lies in the future ahead.

No matter how much energy we waste to somehow change the negativity in your life, the outcomes won’t always be in our favor. We can’t undo something. The one thing that exists is NOW. That is why we need to focus on finding serenity only in the present moment.

2. Go after YOUR DREAMS

Let go of the stigma that holds you and go after your biggest desires. Become everything you’ve ever dreamed of becoming. This world is full of so many opportunities for us, we just need to make the first step! Untie yourself from the fear of the unknown and dive in the world of countless possibilities.

3. Maintain an OPTIMISTIC OUTLOOK toward life

Learn to look at the brighter side of life. Of course, life is a balance between both negative and positive, but it’s your attitude towards it that counts the most.

As I said, there won’t always be pink skies ahead, but that doesn’t mean we should surrender to negativity. On the contrary, let that be your biggest motivation to always search for positivity in things.

4. Listen to MUSIC that makes you happy

Have you ever found that perfect band whose music touches your soul in an inexplicable manner? I refer to it as my soul band, my soul music. You feel like they lift you from the ground and take you to dimensions you’ve never experienced.

As cliché as it may sound, music is my drug. Sometimes it’s only thing that gets me through the day. And believe it or not, music, as every part of our surroundings, has a powerful impact on us all. Find the music that makes your soul sparkle, submerge in it and see what happens.

5. LET GO of the need to control everything

Everything is not up to you to control it. And it definitely shouldn’t be. Accept that things need to go a certain way and don’t insist on changing them forcefully. Learn the art of spontaneity and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

6. GET RID of toxic people

Another thing that will always get in the way of your positive line of thought is keeping toxic people inside your world. Most of the cases in which people decide to cling on to them rather than “shift-delete” them is fear. Fear of change. Fear of being alone.

Don’t you ever sacrifice your well-being for that! You deserve peace, and if that means nonchalantly erasing them from your world, don’t even bother to give it a second thought and just do it!

7. ACCEPT yourself  (FLAWS and all)

There’s not a person in the world that’s flawless. And no matter how beautiful that idea seems, we’re not perfect and we’ll never be. But it’s those little imperfections that make us one of a kind.  

Take the time and find yourself. Most importantly, accept and learn to love yourself. YOU are amazing! Don’t ever forget that.

8. FORGIVE yourself and everyone else

Learn to let go of every situation, every feeling that hurt you. Don’t beat yourself up for the things that once left you disappointed and forgive yourself.

But also forgive everyone else that once did you wrong. There’s no serenity in vengeance. It is only through forgiveness that you’ll achieve peace of mind and wholeness.

9. BE THANKFUL for all that you have

It’s a fact that no matter how much we have, people will always be greedy for even more. Sadly, it’s in our nature to often be unsatisfied when compared with someone else.

Take a moment out of your busy day and look all around you. There are so many beautiful things that life blessed us with. Embrace them properly and appreciate them. The rest is yet to come!

10. STOP sweating the small stuff

Don’t let daily trivialities get in the way of your happiness. These things are not worthy of giving them so much value. 

See that you do your best to get out of that certain deadlock, but don’t let them affect you in the long run. After all, it’s the unpredictability of life that makes it colorful!

11. Practice MEDITATION

If you haven’t already indulged yourself in a soul exercise, now is your time to shine. Start your day with a little mediation. Take 30 minutes out of your day to calm your busy mind and listen to your inner voice.

Adopting this essential technique will not only influence your current state but also change your life for the better in the long run.

12. TREAT OTHERS how you want to be treated

Oldie, but goldie. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Be kind to people. Share a smile daily. Don’t rush into judging someone’s behavior, they may be going through a lot already.

Image Copyright: smithore / 123RF Stock Photo

It Takes A REAL MAN To Be With An ALPHA WOMAN

By
Mary Wright

Alpha females are strong, independent, and self-sufficient ladies with big hearts. They can love hard, so they are very careful about who they choose to be their partner in life. They know what they want, and they don’t settle for anything less than they deserve.

If you are a man reading this and you are dating an alpha woman, be prepared to get really challenged. An alpha woman will believe in your abilities more than you believe in them yourself, and she won’t stop until you reach your full potential.

She is a strong and smart woman that will bring you back on the right path every time you strain from it. She would make you question things and make you look at life and your reality from a different perspective.  

But, she is not a ‘yes’ woman. She won’t support you when you are clearly making a mistake, nor she would approve if you start taking her for granted. With her, you will hear only the truth no matter how painful it might be.

You will always know where you stand with your alpha woman. She communicates her needs and desires well, and expects the same thing from you. One of the most important things to her is having a straight-forward conversation without resentment, criticism, or anger.

If you, however, are not an emotionally stable man – don’t even try to date her. Also, she would never be a rebound woman for you to fill an empty void.

She wants a man who is ready to have her in his life. Someone who knows what he has when he has her.

Because she is already a fulfilled woman with her own passions and wonderful qualities to offer that expects a fulfilled man who can appreciate and reciprocate her efforts.

She wants a strong man. A man who is emotionally intelligent and can handle his emotions well. A man who is willing to work for their relationship when things get bad. Someone who won’t ‘disappear’ at the first sign of conflict.

Also, don’t date her if you are not ready to love her. Don’t date her if you are still testing the waters, and looking around to see if someone better would come along. Get out of her way to finding true love with someone who knows her worth and who is willing to commit entirely to her and only to her.

She is someone who can make your whole life better. She would treat you like a ‘king’ if you let her be your ‘queen.’ She would encourage you. She would motivate you. She would push you. She would try to make you happy when you feel down. She would bring the best out of you.

If you are someone who is not ready to experience the immense passion and ‘drown’ in love with her – don’t ever start a relationship with her.

She loves fiercely and unconditionally. She wants romance and she won’t settle for a mediocre love. She wants to feel wanted and someone who can awaken her deepest desires and furnace her burning soul.

So, please, if you are not ready for her – don’t date her! Not everyone can handle a strong woman’s love and passion.

 

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