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10 Red Flags You’re In A Relationship That Is Taking A Toll On Your Mental Health

toll on relationships meaning

All romantic relationships have their ups and downs. However, there’s a huge difference between being in a healthy relationship, in which you face difficulties, problems, and fights from time to time, but both you and your partner work hard together to overcome them, and one which is draining and damaging to your mental health.

Every relationship is about joy, excitement, and passion, especially at the beginning. But as time progresses, on the basis of what you experience in the relationship and how your partner makes you feel, you should be able to tell whether you’re in a healthy, harmonious, and happy relationship or a troubled, toxic one.

Unfortunately, many people often allow themselves to stay in relationships that are bad for their mental well-being, freedom, and self-esteem – oftentimes, without even being fully aware of what they’re doing.

Recognizing the signs that you’re in a relationship with someone who sucks your energy, pulls you downward, causes you emotional pain, and erodes your happiness can be really hard.

Therefore, to save you from this kind of relationship, we have compiled a list of 10 signs that your relationship is damaging to your mental well-being.

If any or all of these signs sounds familiar to you, it might be time for you to consider leaving it before it undermines your self-worth and mental health any further.

1. You feel neglected.

Your partner should fulfill your need for joy, love, and affection, but if they’re not there to give you their help and support when you’re feeling vulnerable or going through tough times, then this is a clear sign they’re neglecting you.

Couples that are in healthy, meaningful relationships treat each other with compassion and care about each other’s feelings, needs, and problems. However, if this is not what you’re experiencing in your relationship, then chances are the person you’re with is not right for you.

2. You feel like you have to change.

Worrying that your partner doesn’t like you the way you are and that you should change things about your physical appearance, your hobbies, or interests or begin doing different stuff so as to keep them interested is a serious red flag.

Of course, all couples should be willing to make compromises, but not at the cost of changing completely who you really are only to please someone else. If the person you’re with truly loves you, they’ll accept and love you for who you really are – they’ll never try to change you.toll on relationships meaning

3. You feel frightened to express your opinions.

Couples should feel free and comfortable to share their opinions, ideas, and problems with each other. But if you’re avoiding doing that or asking for your partner’s opinion, or even texting them because you never know how they’re going to react, then this is an indication that things have turned sour in your relationship.

No one should feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells when their partner is around – remember that.

4. They bring out the worst in you.

Ask yourself whether your partner supports you when you’re trying to give up a bad habit or they undermine you. If they don’t support and motivate you to do that, then this is a sure sign you’re not in a healthy relationship.

Whether you’re trying to give up smoking or overspending or lose weight, or you name it, your significant other is supposed to encourage you, not enable your bad habits.

5. They are gaslighting you.

Gaslighting is a serious form of manipulation in which someone tries to control you by making you believe things that are not true, leading you to question your own logic, perception, and sense of reality.

So, if you can often find yourself in situations where your partner is trying to convince you that things are different from what you think or say they are, then this is a sure sign they’re gaslighting you.

6. They affect your relationships with your loved ones.

Ask yourself whether your partner has a good relationship with your family and friends, and if not, why this is so. Does each of you set aside time to hang out with your loved ones and nourish your relationships with others or is your partner the only person you can talk to or rely on?

Even if your significant other doesn’t like or get on well with certain members of your family or friends, that doesn’t mean you should completely cut them out of your life. Your partner and relationship is one thing and your friendships and other important relationships are a completely different ones, and you should make sure you set aside time for both of them.

7. You don’t like the person you are when you’re around them.

If you feel like you’re starting doing things that are not in accordance with your moral beliefs and values or if you can often find yourself doubting your partner or feeling irritated by their behaviors and then beginning to feel like you’re a bad person for having these thoughts and feelings, then it might be time for you to think about whether you really want to be in this relationship.

In a relationship that is based on true, honest, unconditional love and mutual respect, there’s no place for such feelings, thoughts, and doubts.

8. They display a controlling behavior.

If you feel like you’re increasingly dependent on your partner or you can’t tell what you really want and need in the relationship, chances are your partner has gained control over you and your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Additionally, if your partner often makes you feel like you’re the one who is responsible for everything that goes wrong in the relationship, leading you to feel guilty and take the blame, they’re most likely guilt-tripping you.

This kind of manipulation games can eventually shatter your self-esteem and even twist your own sense of reality. So, if this is how your partner makes you feel, you better evaluate your relationship.

9. You’re fighting all the time.

Conflict makes relationships healthy, but if you and your significant other fight a lot or if you feel threatened by their reactions to your opinions and arguments, this is a sign that there’s something wrong with the relationship.

Couples that are in healthy, meaningful, successful relationships have occasional arguments and try to solve them in a mature, calm, civilized manner.

So, if you and your partner fight all the time, yell at, and insult each other without trying to reach a reasonable solution to your arguments, then you should think about whether you really belong in this relationship.

10. You feel drained.

Feeling like all the positive energy and happiness has been sucked out of you is a sure sign your relationship is not working. When there’s true love in the relationship, you never feel this way. Instead, you feel happy, fulfilled, and energized.  

So, if you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted after every interaction with your partner, then you can be sure he/she is not the right for you.