One of the major reasons for couples breaking up is when they develop trust issues with each other. It is extremely difficult to trust someone that you have recently met. Various reasons can cause feelings of mistrust to creep into your new and promising relationship. One of those reasons might be a bad experience with an ex-partner. Issues from our past can spring up and mess up our presence at any given time.
Trust issues may be a big obstacle in your life that hinders connection, warmth, and intimacy. When you experience trust issues in any relationship, it becomes hard for you to be vulnerable in front of your loved ones. This ability to show susceptibility in front of your partner is known to be essential for a lasting relationship. In this article, you will find ten signs that show that you have trust issues and different ways of dealing with them.
Signs of trust issues in romantic relationships:
- You predict people’s behavior before giving them a chance to prove themselves. People who have previously been cheated on can develop an inherent lack of trust in their partners. They would predict that their partners would betray them without any evidence of betrayal from the partners.
- Your trust issues have become an emotional self-fulfilling prophecy. That happens when you start trusting random people that give you no reason to trust them. People often do this to unconsciously confirm the belief that people are generally untrustworthy and how they would betray you.
- You trust people too quickly. This point is similar to the previous one, however, it comes from the failure to understand how to trust anyone. This lack of experience in giving the other person time to build your trust makes you jump into trusting them blindly.
- You do not share your feelings with your partner. People who lack trust in their relationships often do not trust them enough to share their feelings. They always remain guarded with their partners as they think that their feelings would be used against them at some point.
- Communication with your partner is extremely shallow. You may be a deep thinker, but conversations with your partner are seldom about those deep thoughts. They would always revolve around lighter, external things.
- Your first thought about your partner’s genuine mistake would be about how he or she is breaching your trust. For example, if your partner is late for a date, you would instantly assume that it is because they are hiding something from you. If they cannot talk to you right now, it means that they are rejecting you.
- You do not want to commit emotionally. You anticipate something going wrong all the time. You believe that betrayal is inevitable, so you do not let yourself get too attached to your partner. You always have your guard up.
- Others see you as someone impossible to please. When you do not trust people, they might find you unforgiving and difficult to deal with. If you openly show signs of mistrust, they would not feel motivated to console you and might get irritated by this behavior.
- You feel isolated like an outcast. When you do not open up with your partner, you are not showing them your true self. It might lead you to feel isolated at times. You might feel like you do not belong.
- You get depressed because of all the above signs. If you experience these signs, you might be feeling depressed and lonely.
How can people with trust issues be in better relationships?
- Fix yourself before fixing others. You cannot change people’s behavior towards you, but you can change how you deal with it. If you think you have some major issues that you need to address, consider visiting a therapist before getting into any relationship. Counseling would help you figure out what led to your lack of trust, and you can learn how to deal with your emotions. Only when you have addressed your inner demons, can you fully and freely commit to a romantic relationship? Getting therapy would also make you more aware of yourself and about what you want and do not want from a partner. That, in turn, would lead you to pick out the right partner for yourself.
- Get support from your friends. It often helps a great deal to take second opinions about your decisions in life. If you catch yourself doubting your partner without any proof, it will help to take an opinion from a mutual friend who knows the two of you. Sometimes, an outsider can give you a better perspective about things that you might not have thought of before. Your friend can give you honest answers about whether you are overreacting in a situation or not. They can also tell you if they do see red flags in the relationship.
- Get a mobile monitoring app. For those who are still in the process of developing trust in each other, a mobile monitoring app might just be the perfect solution. There is a chance that your partner is also finding it hard to trust you. You can both download a trusted monitoring app on your phones and agree to keep a tab on each other with the help of the app. There are many monitoring software running that you can select. To give you an example of how it works, let us look at one of the top-rated monitoring apps of the year 2020.
Many people use XNSPY to keep a tab on their partners when they are away or cannot meet regularly due to work or distance restrictions. The app should be with the mutual consent of both partners. It has many features that you can take advantage of to develop trust between each other. XNSPY gives you access to your partner’s contact list, their SMS and Instant Messages on WhatsApp, Viber, and Tinder, and also their social media profiles. The app also allows you to track each other’s location through its GPS-tracking feature. It gives you an accurate location of your partner with the date and time stamps. XNSPY also allows you access to the monitored device’s browsing history as well as their appointments. It is useful as a good tool for the couples who might be going into long-distance relationships and need to keep a check on each other’s schedules. Long-distance relationships require a deep level of trust in your partners to survive. Using XNSPY, you can keep track of each other’s activities remotely. It would give a chance to a promising relationship that you do not want to let go of just because of your lack of trust.
XNSPY also has some features that might sound a little intrusive to some people. One such feature includes recording and downloading all the calls of your partner and listening to them at your own time. Another one involves remote access to your pictures and email accounts. Some people might not want to share their confidential information like passwords or emails with their partners. XNSPY also allows you to remotely turn on the microphone of your partner’s phone that lets you hear the surrounding voices at any time. It might sound like an intrusion into the personal space for many.
A solution for those who find these features intrusive is that the couple can mutually agree and decide on which features they want to use and which they do not. You can manually set up access to only those features that you feel comfortable with sharing with your partner and turn off the ones that seem intrusive. You can later change your preference whenever you want according to your comfort.
For many, apps like XNSPY have proven to deepen their trust in each other, as they think that if their partners are allowing them access to such personal information, then they might not have anything to hide. For others, it may provoke a feeling that your partner is spying on you. Different things work for different people, so it is up to you to decide which option works best for yourself and your relationship. It is best to discuss with your partner and take their consent before downloading any monitoring app on their phone. Otherwise, it would be a breach of privacy that might not turn out well for your relationship.