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10 Ways Being Brought Up By A Narcissistic Parent May Affect You

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Being brought up by a narcissistic parent is one of the most difficult forms of child abuse. It can greatly undermine your self-esteem and negatively affect the relationships you form with others in your adulthood.

Narcissists are people who are incapable of genuinely loving and caring about someone. They simply don’t care about other people’s feelings, needs, and opinions. The only person they care about is themselves. As long as they feel better and superior to everyone else, nothing else matters.

Being raised by this kind of parent is very hard to endure and overcome because not only does it leave you with low self-esteem, but also causes you to develop unhealthy behaviors in your adult life.

In what follows, we have listed 10 unhealthy behaviors that narcissistic parents generally display and we’ve also explained how these may affect you in your adulthood.

1. If you get uncomfortable as an adult when good things happen to you, such as when you achieve success, or if you’re unable to relax, be spontaneous, and have fun when you’re hanging out with your friends, the reason for this might be that your parents spoiled good things with their inconsiderate, selfish behavior or gave you gifts and then made you feel like you owed them something.

2. If you happen to have a hard time making decisions as an adult, that’s because you had to endure your parents’ constant, harsh criticism. They treated you like you weren’t smart and good enough to make your own choices and decisions. As a result, you depend on others when you have to make decisions in your adult life.

3. If you often please other people and care about their happiness and well-being more than about your own in your adulthood, the reason for this might be that your parents pressured you to put other people’s needs, desires, and problems before your own. They caused you to feel guilt if you put yourself before others.  

4. If arguments make you feel so overwhelmed and upset as an adult that you’re doing your best to avoid confrontations with other people, the reason for this might be that your parents didn’t allow you to complain about their behavior or anything else, have different opinion from them, and get into an argument with them. And when you tried to do any of these things, they punished you for it.  

5. If you feel drawn to uncertainty, confusion, and disorder rather than stability in your relationships as an adult, the reason for this might be that you were exposed to constant drama, shouting, scapegoating, tension, and disharmony that your parents created in your childhood.

6. If you find it hard to get close to other people as an adult even when you really want to, the reason for this might be that your parents were never there for you when you needed them. They didn’t bother to build a healthy, meaningful, close, and loving relationship with you. Or they were nice to you one moment and acted cold and distant the next. All this made you feel confused and unsafe.

7. If you find it hard to trust and confide in others even when you truly want to, the reason for this might be that your parents made you believe that you could have faith in them, then broke your trust or used your secrets, insecurities, or fears against you.

8. If you feel extremely sensitive when you’re in the company of entitled, overbearing, manipulative people as an adult, the reason for this might be that your parents tried to dominate and control most of your conversations and be the center of attention regardless of the situation.

9. If you have difficulty recognizing and accepting your feelings as an adult, the reason for this might be that your parents made you feel like your feelings, needs, ambitions, and desires weren’t important. They might have even ridiculed these.

10. If you often soothe yourself through eating excessively, overspending, smoking, drinking, or engaging in other self-destructive habits in your adult life, the reason for this might be that your parents’ selfish, manipulative, narcissistic behavior left you feeling unappreciated, disrespected, helpless, and unloved.

Should you have any questions regarding this topic or one of your own interest, feel free to email me at [email protected]