I know I am quite introverted, but whenever I get to read (or write) an article about introverts, there’s something that tells me that I don’t quite fit the description. Sure, I don’t like small talk, and I prefer a small circle of close friends, but there are some things that don’t go the way I go…
So, I’ve always wondered: Am I an introvert? Or am I again the black sheep in every group I suddenly manage to relate to? Well, luckily, many people are like me – we are introverts who are also quite extroverted.
We like to keep things balanced. And there’s actually this extroverted introvert type of person that I can feel comfortable calling myself. Here are some of the things that make some introverts also extroverted enough.
1. The fact that we’re quiet doesn’t mean that we don’t want to talk
Oh, trust me, I love talking… the thing is, my introverted side likes to lean on to the deeper topics, such that might not interest more than half of the people I know. So, instead, I decide to listen more than I talk.
2. We like being around people, just don’t put too many on the list
We prefer quality over quantity, and this is what I believe everybody should do – although that’s only my perception of things, I suppose. But whatever the case, it’s not that we don’t like socializing – we can spend hours with people as long as they can be counted on the fingers of one hand. More than that, and we’re most likely out.
3. Communication is best done when we best feel like it
Of course, my introverted side doesn’t allow me to spend too much time around people – and this means that I often need a break from all that socializing. This is when I decide not to pay any notice to my phone that may keep on ringing and screaming with notifications. If we get into this mood, don’t expect that we’ll eagerly respond. We just need some downtime.
4. We like meeting new people, only if we’ve been warned that there would be people like that
Bearing in mind that we prefer our small and close circle of friends, we don’t really have a strong need to meet new people on a daily basis. And if you’re planning on getting us to meet your other friends, let us know in advance so that we can mentally prepare for the tedious small talk that should follow.
5. Speaking of which, we do hate small talk
If there’s anything that feels like pulling teeth out, it’s small talk… and we often get lost easily into heavy topics when it’s not the right moment. I remember how I use the weather topic to easily drift away into climate change, nature, and our role in it. What can we do? Is there anything more tedious than small talk, especially when such great topics are available?
6. We like our alone time, but we do get lonely
We like people… we like people a lot. But the need to be alone is also as strong. So, we sometimes get into this trap when we need our alone time, but we also feel lonely, and the best solution is to kind of get out at some quiet café or bar and hang out with one or two friends max.
7. Going out is such a pain to think of, but we have a great time when we’re finally out
We like our specially-created comfort of our room, home, you name it – and we prefer staying at home, most ideally with a few friends over, listening to music, drinking something, and cooking up some delicious meals. So, why go out? But when we do go out, we usually have a great time! Just don’t take us to overcrowded places.
8. Our thoughts are louder than our words – no matter how outgoing we seem to be
Whatever comes out has been part of a much larger thought, and if we try to break every part of it down to you, you might easily get lost in the way. The truth is, our introverted side allows us to be in touch with our thoughts in such a healthy way that we can talk loudly while thinking much louder.
9. And this allows us to calculate our outgoing nature very precisely
We always know what to say next because we can hear our fast-paced thoughts that many people like to ignore. Whatever we may seem to you, it’s because it’s only part of the larger picture we’re trying to achieve. It’s rather complicated really…
10. No crowd can be too big or small to make us reconsider shutting ourselves off from the world right there and then
Especially when we’re experiencing an overload in our ‘social parts of our brains.’ We can easily shut ourselves off and become extremely introspective, not noticing anything that’s happening around us. And in this time, we tend to use some fixed phrases and reactions that come out almost automatically while having no idea what you’re talking to us.
11. We’re extremely picky when it comes to people – and when we like you, we really like you
We don’t need the achievement called ‘friends’ just for the sake of having any. If we like to be around somebody, it’s because we have somehow decided that this person is worth our time and energy. We like genuine people, and we like honesty first and foremost. And when we notice that someone’s thoughts aren’t aligned with their actions, we quickly wipe them off the ‘friend-board.’
Are you an extroverted introvert? How many of these things do you do?
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