Home Love & Relationships 12 Ways Children Of Divorced Parents Love Differently

12 Ways Children Of Divorced Parents Love Differently


As a person who grew up right in the middle of my parent’s feuds, I’m fully aware of the challenges life brings to every child of divorce.

With time, people tend to grow distant with each other and divorce can sometimes be the inevitable means for a person to move on in life. However, that decision can leave a powerful imprint on the children’s life.

We’ve seen it all and eventually grew up. We had the chance to have an early insight into life’s miraculous ways which forced us to grow up faster.

But no matter how difficult life was, we’re not broken, we simply have our own ways of loving and they’re different from other people.

1. We’re very CAREFUL to whom we give our heart

As children who have been victims of post-divorce trauma, we know how hard and painful separations can be. Life took its turns and showed us his cruel ways at a very young age. It’s right then and there that we learned to be extremely careful when someone asks for our heart and devotion. When we decide to let someone in our life we do it with great awareness and certainty.

2. That makes us really RESERVED until we find real love

We might come off a bit reserved with people until we finally find the thing we’re looking for. Life was hard for us and, like it or not, it taught us to take things with the proverbial “grain of salt.” From that moment on we’ve drawn an invisible line around us and no matter how selfish it can be, we know it’s for our own good.

3. …And because of that we are HARD to love

The devastating consequences of the experience made us wander through life and restlessly search for safety in our whole life. We’re not afraid to admit our insecurities and doubts because at the end that’s what makes us human. But we need you to put your best effort if you care enough. We need you to try to understand us and never give up on us. Because in return, we’ll love you from the very depths of our heart.


We are our number one priority. We focus on upgrading our emotional and spiritual growth for our own sake. We want to create a life worth living not only for ourselves but for every person that means the world to us. So, we’ll refuse to settle down for something that doesn’t make our soul bloom. After all, we’ve been through very difficult times with our families that will stay and serve us an example of the life we won’t allow to happen once again.

5. …and we’re realistic about LOVE

No matter how much we endured in this life, we’ll never give up on finding true love. But we won’t allow to act childish and indulge in something that might clearly be destructive for us. We chose to remain realistic, rather than carelessly floating on 7th heaven.

6. So you can rest assured WE’LL TAKE GOOD CARE of you

As a child of divorce, we know what it means to be a caregiver. Instead of being comforted by our parents, we had to take care of them during those hard times. Emotional stability is something that remained unrevealed for us. But as we grow up, we strive even more to find it. When we cross our paths with the love of our lives, that one person who’ll be patient with us and embrace our flaws, we’ll do our best to show our love for them.

7. We pay attention to FLAWS

It’s not like we’re programmed to look past the positivity and search for the negative sides, but we’re very cautious when it comes down to relationships. Because sadly, we’ve been a casualty of our parent’s broken marriage, we’ve seen and felt the heartache, and we know how significant it is to pinpoint the flaws that could bring about a similar end to the relationship.

8. We QUESTION everything

It’s in our nature to never stop questioning. We seek the eternal answers to the question “Why?”, despite the fact that we already know them. We’ll often need you to prove your love for us, even when it’s still there. We might sometimes come off as too demanding, but the thought of someone working behind our back drives us insane.

9. ABANDONMENT is our worst nightmare

Yes, we learned to stand on our own feet. But we can’t help but feel frightened at the thought of sheer abandonment. Because we’ve felt how it is when someone walks out for good and never returns.  That’s the same reason why…

10. We’re more than prepared for that

We’ve taken precautions and prepared for the worst. People would often say that you should always perceive the beauty in this world and that is true. But leaving our hearts out in the open without any shield on can sometimes cause us great devastation.

11. We believe that GOOD COMMUNICATION is the solid base for a prosperous relationship

Lack of basic communication was the same reason behind that devastating experience. But that rough patch we once were a part of is now considered an example of our future relationships. In order to be with someone, the main and most valuable segment that needs to be constantly nurtured is communication. We should never have to hide our souls and thoughts in front of the people we consider close.

12. But besides all of that, WE’VE NEVER GIVEN UP on the idea of TRUE LOVE

After everything said and done, we deeply believe that somewhere out there, TRUE love does exist. And it’s only a matter of time before life surprises us.


Inspired by: Thought Catalog

Image Copyright: mizina / 123RF Stock Photo