An introvert will tell you – they really need their quiet time – the lack of people and buzzing noises from all that talking and talking and jabbering about some irrelevant things. They just want to be invisible in most cases.
And if someone truly special to you happens to be an introvert, there are some things you need to know about their interpersonal habits and preferences that, if you follow their lead, can make them feel loved very much.
So, here are some things you can do to make that special introvert of yours feel loved.
1. Give them 3 seconds after they stop talking
Because sometimes it could be that they didn’t stop talking but are processing thoughts internally. Introverts like to submerge in their thoughts before saying things out loud.
2. If you’re talking about something important, paraphrase their ideas
This way they’ll know that you are indeed paying attention, which an introvert will appreciate very much. So, simply say some of the things they say in your own words.
3. Enjoy the silence now and then
Silence is golden – especially for an introvert. And there’s nothing awkward with some silence now and then, really. In fact, sitting in silence can be quite enjoyable with the right person.
4. Announce it before you start thinking out loud
Introverts like fully formed thoughts, and it’s a nightmare for an introvert when someone starts thinking out loud.
This is because when someone (usually an extrovert) starts verbalizing every single thought that comes to their mind it usually ends in a stream of jumbled words and disconnected ideas.
So, when you are planning to start thinking out loud, do tell them, so they can simply tune out if they can’t follow.
5. Figure out plans through texting
Introverts feel most comfortable when texting (opposed to talking on the phone). It’s because they can think about the things they are planning to say and express themselves in the best way – this is especially important for them when discussing plans.
6. Don’t interrupt them when they are speaking
When an introvert talks, it means that they have put a lot of thought into what they are saying and cutting them off in the middle of all that feels like a punch in the chest for them.
If you do need to add something to the conversation, acknowledge that you have cut them off and give them a moment to continue.
7. The best conversations are when you’re walking or driving
It’s because of the lack of eye contact which feels less confrontational for the introvert. This way they feel free to retreat inside and bring out their deepest thoughts without focusing on your piercing gaze.
8. Acknowledge their feelings
Especially if you’re about to do something they might not like. Simply state that you know how they might feel about it and explain why you have to, for example, interrupt them in the middle of saying something.
9. Help them leave the party early
Imagine you’re having some friends over and you notice that your dear introvert starts feeling anxious because they can’t stand another minute around people. Help them out and make an excuse for the guests to head out. The introvert will appreciate this – a lot.
10. Make balance between quiet time and loud activities
Going to clubs or loud restaurants may feel overwhelming for the introvert if they have already drained their energy on other socially-engaging activities.
So, when you have such plans, make sure you do some things that will not cost them a lot of energy, like going to the movies, hiking, or long drives.
11. Be specific when asking questions
It can be difficult for an introvert to dive into a conversation if they don’t receive some kind of push, like a more specific question.
You could, for example, ask them what made them feel happy today or whether they have an interesting observation or thought they’d like to share.
12. Let them know that you don’t feel awkward around them at all
The quietness of an introvert may feel awkward for many – and this thought drains them, especially with their efforts not to be the dull silent ones in a world full of loudmouths.
However, you know that you don’t feel awkward around them. Make sure they are aware of it and that you, in fact, enjoy their quiet nature.