We are at the start of something new. New chapter ahead of us. New opportunity to embrace the beauty life holds. At least I know i will. 2017 was the year of my emotional growth and personal achievement. I’m thankful for both, good and bad experiences.
And if you ask me, if there is something that I would turn back time for, the answer is NO. I don’t regret even the slightest of issues and difficulties. Seeing that if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be here having this conversation in my head and pouring my heart all over the keyboard.
However, it was the same things that made me realize the fact that I’m not being selfish enough. And by selfish, I mean, I have not taken enough care for my wellbeing. I’ve let toxic people walk into my life recklessly. Once again, I felt the pain of losing a person whom I’ve loved. Or maybe it was the feeling they gave me that I loved?
Anyhow, I made some mistakes and failed to look after myself the way I was supposed to. I forgot my needs. But all is not lost! In fact, nothing is lost. So here I am, starting this year the best way I could and with the most important resolution for 2018:
I will learn to be more selfish in 2018!
I will make more time to enjoy this life by myself. I promise I’ll get out of bed every day and greet the sun good morning. I will go for walks in the park while the last sunray dives deep into the lake. I will go on more adventures around my city. I will breathe. I will live every moment like it is my last. I will appreciate little things.
I’ll go for a hike on one of the highest of peaks in my country. I’ll challenge myself every day. Height scares me to death, but I’m determined to experience paragliding. I will let go of my fears and I will live.
I promise I won’t be reckless with deciding who gets to stay and who gets the hell out of my life. No matter how hard it feels, I’ll do whatever it is in order to be happy. I promise I’ll give up on people who treat me lousy. There is nothing more important to me than my own health and happiness. I know that I’ll survive without anyone.
I will reorganize my world from the very core. Because changes are necessary. I promise that I’ll buy that cute new planner and I will start using it religiously. I will work hard for the things I love. I’ll embrace every passion of mine, and will constantly work to upgrade myself. I’ll take care of my mental and physical self. Also, I’ll be drinking a lot of tea and eating a lot healthier.
I will learn to say NO more often. I will appreciate myself more. I won’t agree to do something only for the sake of somebody else. I won’t feel bad when I don’t reply to every call. I will not feel foolish when I refuse to go out on a Friday night and instead stay home to binge watch the last season of Stranger Things.
I’ll be harder than I thought, but I’ll try to be more spontaneous. I will open my heart to the possibility of fresh new opportunities and new people. I’ll be kind and warm to every person, but I will also have the strength to cut off the ones that mean to me no good. I’ll save my time and energy for welcoming pure, more genuine people into my world.
I will go to concerts, I will party until the sun comes out and my feet hurt like hell. I’ll turn off my phone and just enjoy the moment. I promise I won’t wait for him to call, but instead, I’ll go on with my life as it is. Because I know the Universe saved something great for me. And I’m patient enough to wait for it to unravel.
This year I’m doing everything that will make me happy.
I spent so much time in the past, worrying about things that were out of my reach. Worrying about others and their feelings more than my own. Beating myself up whenever life took its wrong turn.
But that is over. What is done is done. There is a Utopia of possibilities in front of me. And I can’t wait to see what’s in it for me!
This will be my self-appreciation year and I’ll learn what happiness really means. There is no one out there who could do that for yourself, for happiness is a thing that comes from within us.
I deserve to be selfish and so do you.