It is usual for both partners to exhibit their best side during the first part of a relationship. So it would be practically impossible to decide if you can trust a person on the first date. However, the sooner you identify a cheater, the faster you can exit the relationship and guard your mental health.
While there are no hard and fast rules or set patterns to identify a cheater, there are serial cheaters signs you can watch out for before committing to a relationship. You can also look for these signs in your present partner if you have a hunch about him/her being a serial cheater.
Being cheated on is a painful experience. Prolonging your relationship with a serial cheater because you couldn’t identify the indicators will only prolong the pain.
Surface Level Conversations and Actions
Cheaters usually like to keep things light. Their actions and conversations might reflect this trait. They typically prefer to keep things light and are reluctant to talk about more profound things like emotions, impactful childhood memories, or past relationships. Conversations may revolve around topics like politics, movies, the weather, etc. Serial cheaters use this tactic to hide their partners’ real intentions.
Disinterest in Long Term Commitment
Serial cheaters are quickly bored in long-term relationships. They may brush away conversations about engagement, marriage, or even meeting their partner’s families. Monogamy is not something that aligns with a serial cheater’s view of the world. The cheater may always be on the look for something better. Serial cheaters fear commitment.
Unusually Charming
Serial daters may seem very charming at the onset of the relationship. They may shower their partners with compliments, gifts, and flowers. The cheater is hardly ever nervous, insecure, or awkward. All this may indicate that the person is good at dating and has probably been on many dates with different people. This polished, attractive approach is often what unassuming victims find attractive.
Not Good at Keeping Promises
Serial daters and serial cheaters may consider promises and commitments very lightly. They may not show up for a promised date or may not call after they’ve promised to call. Commitments and cheating don’t go hand in hand.
They Don’t Check Up On You or Try to Find Out More About You
Serial cheaters usually have a sense of entitlement and narcissism. They often have a lot to say about themselves and their interests but don’t try to find out more about your life. The cheater doesn’t ask you questions or check up on you to see if you are alright. In many reported cases, serial cheaters’ partners say that the cheater might even disappear for a week or two and not even respond to calls or texts.
Constant Jokes and Conversations Downplaying Infidelity
A serial cheater has no regard for fidelity. They may make jokes about the same or hold conversations justifying infidelity. If you try to contradict the serial cheaters’ view on fidelity, he/she may attempt to gaslight you or call you narrow-minded. If the person you are dating talks about why cheating is not a serious issue, this could very well be a red flag.
Refusal to Admit to a Mistake
Serial cheaters always think they are right. Introspection into his/her actions or owning up to a mistake that he/she made doesn’t come naturally to a serial cheater. Cheaters continue to hurt their partners despite confrontation and despite knowing that their actions are disrespectful and hurtful.
Self-Esteem Issues
Psychologists assert that a person engages in harmful, self-destructive behavior because they are insecure and unhappy with themselves. The cheater may seem confident and charming from the outside.
However, if you try to find out more, you’ll realize that they hold a lot of negativity within them. They use infidelity and dating as a tool to attempt to keep their confidence stable. The main reason they engage in serial cheating is to seek validation from others.
Subtle Displays of Insensitivity and Remorse
Cheaters are insensitive by nature. Insensitivity is the reason they cheat in the first place. The cheater may be insensitive to your problems and may never offer to sit down with you and discuss what you’re feeling. It would be sporadic to find any emotional support from a serial cheater. The cheater is in the relationship for the fun sides of it. Demanding anything more from him/her may trigger them.
Serial Cheaters Can Have Long-Lasting Negative Impacts on Your Mental Health.
It is unhealthy to invest your time, efforts, and emotions in serial cheaters. Movies and books may have you believe that a person can give up lifelong habits and traits overnight—however, psychology holds a different view. Identifying serial cheater signs at the beginning may save your mental health.
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from health, nutrition and psychology.