Oh, the grand paradox of existing and living life as a talkative introvert. It might come to you as quite a shocker, but believe it or not humans are confusing species. No matter how hard we try to categorize and rationalize things, we are all full of mysteries.
So, speaking in the name of thousands of introverts who sometimes act the opposite and tend to socialize the hell out of themselves, we know you’re confused, but you’ll get used to it.
To spare you the further confusion, here are some behaviors that may come to you a bit puzzling and only a talkative introvert would understand.
1. Small talk is the death of you
No matter where you lie in the spectrum of extrovert-introvert, socializing takes a lot of energy.
I’ve said a thousand times and I’ll say it again. When it comes to different forms of socializing, small talk is the worst of the worst.
We’re very good at keeping the conversation up about the things we’re the most passionate about, but more often people get insulted or thrown off by our inability or let’s just say unwillingness to engage in a small talk.
The thing is people don’t realize that you don’t need a special “social skill” to engage in a meaningful conversation about the things that spark you up. It only takes honesty and an open mind.
Small talk is superficial and calculated. You either end up in a meaningless conversation about yesterday’s heavy rain, or you end up knee deep in questions about your current love life.
It’s about shamelessly asking the question out of plain curiosity and fake laughing even if there isn’t something funny.
2. You can go on forever on a topic about something or someone you’re passionate about
Yes, I know, introverts are labeled as not much of talkers. We’re considered as those shy people in the corner observing the scene and making sure we avoid eye contact.
However, when we hear you mention a song that touched our soul deeply, an artist that’s one of our favorites, or a book that recently left us in awe, you can be more than sure that our chatty and communicative personality will wash over our introverted side and you’ll be delighted to meet a whole other person.
We’ll go on and on talking about the things we’re passionate about with a spark in our eyes.
3. One on one interactions are essential for our existence, and far more interesting
We’re those kinds of people who might seem a bit complicated to you but will get out of our shell with only the right kind of people. We like social interaction, but not every communication lifts us up.
That’s why we need deep conversations. I, myself, am in need of a meaningful talk that comes deep down from your soul and interacts with mine in a unique, profound way.
Talk to me about your feelings, tell me about your fears and what makes your hair on the back of the neck stand up. I want to talk about your first heartbreak and how did it make you feel. Tell me about your deepest secrets and you hidden desires. I want to learn everything about you.
However, this kind of talk can happen only with the special types of people. Just you and me. No distractions, no small talk. And that might be perhaps one of the many greatest traits a talkative introvert can possess.
4.You are social for a particular period of time, and then it’s most likely you’ll shut down
Still, regardless of the fact that we’re considered the exception to the rule and like to chit-chat whenever we’re on fire, intense socializing can easily exhaust us to the point of total SHUT DOWN.
Social interaction is really draining up everyone’s energy, so you can only imagine what it does to us. Having that in mind, it’s not rare for one to suddenly retreat into their own shell out of nowhere.
Whenever this happens, try to not take it the wrong way. We’re not mad, nor insulted. We just sometimes feel mentally and physically tired. And withdrawing is the only way of recharging our batteries.
5. Sometimes there is so much to say, but you physically can’t
Real scenario: You are sitting in class and the lecturer holds a discussion on a topic that interests you a lot. Your mind is storming with infinite ideas, everybody is raising their hand to speak, and you know exactly what to say, but there’s something that holds you tied up to the chair.
You are afraid you’ll say something that will blow off their minds, and you’ll end up trapped in the center of attention. The thought of public speaking and everyone watching you is just too much for you to handle.
This is something we struggle with on a daily basis. We want our voice to be heard but at the same time, we’re afraid of being under the daunting spotlight.
Do you agree with any of this? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Or maybe both?
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