I loved romantic comedies when I was a teenager and I developed a certain theory about love and Mr. Right. However, I grew up and learned – the hard way, of course – that life is far from a romantic comedy. Don’t get me wrong, I did find Mr. Right, but the road that led me to him was rather tedious. Love is complicated. We, humans, are complicated as well; but there is nothing simpler and more beautiful than true love. The trick is finding it and recognizing it when it looks you straight in the eye.
We’ve all asked ourselves at point or another: “Am I in the right relationship?” “Is he the one?” “Where is this relationship going?”
Such questions can be troubling and can even put the “wrong strain” on the right relationship, so you better be careful.
If you want to make sure that you are in the right relationship with the right person, you might want to take a look at these tips that are set to help you determine whether the one you’re dating is “THE ONE”.
Tip 1: First and foremost: Set your intentions
This is your first and most essential tip. What does this mean? Well, it’s the basics of dating and the one thing you have to settle before going any further with the dating game. Setting your intentions means that you and no one else has to know what you want from the relationship you’re currently in. In other words, you have to ask yourself two very important questions:
- Am I looking for a husband?
- Am I looking for a good time and nothing serious?
Once you have an answer for these questions, discuss the issue with your partner. If he doesn’t agree, you shouldn’t pursue a future together. It’s just not meant to be. It’s always good to put your cards on the table as soon as possible, so that no one wastes any time. You should expect the same from your partner.
Tip 2: Establish mutual feelings
Have you ever found yourself giving a lot more in a relationship than the other person? Has it ever ended well? – Of course not. The core of a healthy relationship lies in the mutual feelings and understanding of both partners, meaning you should not waste your time with someone that doesn’t give as much and as good as he is getting. Such “one-sided” relationships never work. If you feel used, underappreciated or simply unfulfilled, the relationship must end. Respect yourself.
Tip 3: Allow your “flame” to spread into the “friend” zone
Never rely simply on the physical aspect of a relationship. If you have nothing to talk about, no common interests, how will you experience life together? How will you deal with the daily squabbles? How will you compromise? How will you support each other? If you haven’t managed to forge a solid, healthy relationship that stretches beyond the physical love and attraction, you should call it quits. Sometimes, two people just “click” at the very beginning and things quickly become clear. If you haven’t “clicked” outside of the bedroom, it’s time to part ways. That is, if you’re looking for a serious relationship. If you’re in it just for fun, keep at it.
Tip 4: Family and friends still count, listen to what they have to say about your relationship
When our friends or members of our family try to get involved, we usually shut them out, but we shouldn’t. They are the ones that know us best and their opinion should always count. They might provide you with a different “viewpoint” about the person you’re with. Maybe you don’t see something they do see. If you’re battling with indecisiveness, turn to your close ones. They’ll guide you, for sure. If you’re settling for something, they’ll tell you. If you’re happy, but blind, they’ll open your eyes. If they approve of the person you’re with, you should start looking at him through their eyes… you might see something you missed before and give the relationship another chance.
Tip 5: Make sure you get “what you paid for”
If you dedicate yourself, if you dedicate your time, if dedicate your feelings, if you dedicate your all to one person, it better pay off. The person you’ve chosen to be with MUST love you, respect you, spend time with you, make you laugh, make you feel safe, make you feel complete. The two of you should feel as one. If these conditions are not met, it’s not worth it. Don’t even think about marriage. When it’s the right person at the right time, you’ll know. For if there’s even a glint of doubt about the person you’re with, you should take a moment to analyze why that “glint of doubt” lingers on. After all, it doesn’t take much for a glint to grow into a raving blaze.