Finding “the one” might be mission impossible or as easy as a walk in the park. One can easily get carried away in a relationship and before realizing it, you’ll find yourself in a long term commitment, or even marriage, that absolutely has no ground or future.
So before you let yourself be seduced by a handsome, strapping, gorgeous looking man with whom you have nothing in common, try to snap out of it and continue your search, for once you find Mr. Right, it will all be worth it.
Let’s start at the very beginning. The most important thing you have to check in your relationship is the commitment. How committed are you both? Do you spend time together? Do you have common goals? Do you work for a shared future? Is there a WE and US in everything you do?
You have to keep your eyes open for the signs that will tell you whether you two are meant to be together.
So how does one know? Here’s what you should be looking out for according to Hayley Hobson.
- Can you imagine your life without them?
Does he fit in every plan you make? Can you imagine waking up without him? Does his opinion count? Are you factoring that person into your long-term goals? If the answer is no, that’s a very bad sign. You two are just not meant to be. Don’t waste time, end the relationship.
- Are you emotionally invested in your partner?
A real relationship is never based purely on sex. The physical attraction does matter, but a real relationship is about commitment, it’s about experiencing life together, working towards a common goal. A real relationship is about overcoming the daily difficulties, the disagreements. A real relationship is about making compromises and forgiveness. A real relationship is about learning new things about each other and loving the differences. If you can love your partner even when you hate him, it’s a good sign that you two just might make it. If you only rely on the physical attraction and your connection doesn’t expand beyond that, you should consider ending the relationship.
- Do you both take part in fun activities? How much time do you spend together?
If you start making plans on your own, excluding your partner, then you might be trying to pull away from him and create some distance and distance is never good. If you never include him in activities that are fun for you, then you probably don’t want to spend time with him. Going to the movies, going on a hike, grabbing a cup of coffee with your friends, going for a walk in the park… do you even want him there? If the answer is no, take the hint and send him packing.
- Do you have the same values?
Do you have a lot in common? If you do, then you’re in a healthy, sound relationship. If you don’t, then it’s just a matter of time before you realize that you two don’t have a future together. You might be attracted to him, you might even be in love, but if you have nothing in common, the time will come when you start fighting over the most trivial of things, like which toothpaste we should buy, or what should we have for dinner? Once you start going down that road, there’s no turning back, so you might as well take a U-turn now and end it before it even begins.
- How often do you have sex? Do you have sex?
Sex is the most intimate form of communicating our love for each other. Sex counts. We’ve all had our dry spells, never mind the reasons. However, once a dry spell turns into a never-ending full-fledged draught, you have a real problem on your hands. If you can’t overcome such crisis in a relationship, hard decisions must be made; but before you end the relationship, do give your best and try to save it, so there’s no room for regrets later. Once you start digging deeper,it will soon become apparent whether or not there is something worth saving. If nothing can be done, you should move on with your head held high. After all, life is too short to be wasted.
Also, does he inspire you to be better, does he “get you”? Does he accept you for who you are and loves you no matter what? Try to answer these questions and it will all become clear. Love is not about spending time with someone just because he happened to be there or because you don’t want to be alone or just because you’re tired of the search. Love is the most wonderful thing one can experience in life and it’s worth the wait.