Are you one of those people who seem to breeze through life with the ease of a butterfly? It seems as if nothing can hold them back and they handle problems as if they were never there in the first place, they face every situation without fear and manage stress in a way most people would never think it is possible.
It is true that it is too easy to get caught up in the negative, the truth is life cannot be all rainbows and sunshine, but the main idea is to know how to face the problems without you becoming a problem to yourself. Make sure you create a positive mental attitude towards any problem, as there are no problems – the only problem is our approach to those situations.
How easy is it to do that? Why not try and have a go at these stress reduction, problem solving techniques – they are guaranteed to make you feel better.
- See problems as solvable
With the right attitude, there is no problem which cannot be solved or alleviated. Write down any problems or concerns and think about solutions.
Although we believe we are fighting the problem itself, half of the battle we are fighting is the emotions and mental conflicts the problem brings up. In the heat of our emotions, we only make the problem grow bigger until we become more of a problem to us than the problem itself.
One method of gaining perspective, clarity and cold-headedness is to write the problem down. This gives us the chance to filter the real situation from the emotions that come with it and have the opportunity to reach to the concrete and tangible issue, instead of ourselves. So, here’s what you will do:
- Write the problem down – out of your system and onto a piece of paper. Really, write all that’s in your head.
- Now read it and cross off any emotional statements you have made about it.
- Write it out again, with just the facts, nothing more.
- Now write a scenario where the issue has been resolved, write several scenarios if needed.
- Read your solution to the problem. How did you fix it? What steps did you take?
- This is your plan. Now start working on it.
Giving your emotions some time out and stepping back from all that momentary chaos inside of you is a great way to solve any problem. So, calm down, get that pen out and let the ideas flow.
- Life is all about change – accept that
Life is a continuous change, as Heraclitus once said, “Everything changes and nothing remains still … and … you cannot step twice into the same stream.” Knowing this, you need to accept the fact that some things come and go when they should. There is a Zen proverb which says “Let go or be dragged,” and really, new changes come with new challenges and new beautiful things in them, you just need to open your eyes to see and your heart to feel the freshness of the moment. See life as a journey, not a trial.
As a result, you will always take the advantage of change in the right moment – when it comes. Because everything would be boring if it remains the same as it was, wouldn’t it? Grasp the new moment instead of lamenting the one that has already passed.
- Fear or rejection is an unnecessary enemy
Of course, rejection and failure may come whenever we decide to try something harder and push our limits. The bad part about it is that this emotion pulls deep at the strings of self-esteem and sense of self-worth. And which is even worse, you keep rewinding the scenario over and over wondering what you could have done differently to change the outcome. The reality is – you cannot change anything at that moment and the best thing to do is to come at peace with it. The path to every success is paved with rejection and failure among other things.
The most important thing is not to be afraid of rejection. Be kind to yourself and know that you will never be able to be perfect for everyone and everything. Perfection as people imagine it does not exist, which means you were not the first nor the last to fail at something. Take a deep breath, focus on something positive, create a good feeling space in your body and stay in it. From that place, start analyzing what you have learned from that situation – as everything in life is a lesson. What new opportunities arise from that? What’s totally possible now? Be in the present moment, smile and let seeking opportunities and positive possibilities become your second nature.
- Live life to the fullest
There is always more to life than work and family or striving to achieve and being in service to others. Don’t let yourself become a slave to just a few directions you’ve set in your life living everything else out of it. Life is whole with all the colors in it, not just a few you find most important.
Give yourself some time for enjoyment, fun and fulfilment in the simple activities that make you happy and alive. You have all the time in the world if you know how to use it wisely and to your advantage. Don’t punish yourself by leaving all the fun out of life, take up activities that include fun and enjoyment, because all your hard work won’t make up for the happiness of the simple things. Take up a hobby and give yourself some time out. Participate in activities simply for the sheer enjoyment and pleasure.
So go on, if you haven’t done it yet, now is the time to take up a hobby and follow your interests and passions. You could even enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing. Once you have brought your mind to a calm and happy state, you will be able to pursue your ambitions and face the challenges that life brings much more easily.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help
I will tell you a story of a father and a son. The father once said to the son: “Do you see that huge rock there? Move it using all your options and abilities.” The son tried as hard as he could, all day. In the end, he gave up and came back to his father saying that he couldn’t move it even for an inch. Then the father asked his son: “Did you use all your options and abilities?” The son said yes, but the father said: “You didn’t. You didn’t ask for my help.”
Never overestimate yourself. Sometimes we do need help from others, and as we would help them, they would help us as well. We as people are meant to do things together. We haven’t come to this part of history and this much power in world because we were the superior species, but because we worked together.
It is time to accept that you cannot bear all the burdens alone – you are not supposed to. Requesting help does not suggest weakness, don’t let that fool you. Weakness is when you are unable to ask for help when needed.
You do need to ask intelligently and be ready for any kind of answer, though. And the best way to do this is to:
- Let go of your expectations – ask without the need to hear a yes.
- People CAN say no. If they do, move on and ask for someone else’s help.
- ASK – don’t demand. Leave out the emotion and drama.
- Be clear about what you want – ask directly and clearly.
- Always ask the right person – the one with the willingness, ability and resources to help.