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6 Struggles People Who Come From Toxic Families Have In Common

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“Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache,” says the famous American inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant. And if there’s someone who knows this the best, that’s people who come from toxic families.  

The psychological damage one suffers being raised in a dysfunctional family atmosphere is a way more difficult to shake than the psychological damage one can suffer in toxic friendships or romantic relationships.

Unfortunately, the bad experiences that a person who grew up in a toxic family went through leave deep emotional scars on them that stay with them throughout their adulthood.

Oftentimes, they have a hard time socializing and establishing and maintaining their friendships or romantic relationships because they have low self-esteem and trust issues.

These are just some of the struggles people who come from toxic families face and in what follows, there are a few more:

1. They’re not always able to understand their feelings.

They have a hard time understanding their own feelings as well as the reasons why they’re feeling them. The fact that they were raised in a family where they weren’t allowed to express their feelings is the reason why they often don’t feel comfortable showing their emotions to others. 

Therefore, they often suppress them or even pretend that they’re feeling something else.

2. They often become anxious.

People who were raised in toxic families often struggle with anxiety for no apparent reason. Perhaps they were punished for every mistake they made when they were kids by their parents, or maybe they weren’t allowed to hang out with friends, or try things, and explore.

Whatever the reason, these people often become fearful and anxious without being able to detect the reasons for it.

3. They have confidence issues.

It’s no wonder that they have low confidence because, instead of being told to believe in their abilities, talents, and strength by their parents, they were told that they were not smart and good enough. That’s why they often have difficulties making decisions and they doubt not only other people but themselves as well.

They feel like nothing they do is ever good enough and they often feel the need to prove themselves and be validated by others.

4. They have difficulty developing healthy, meaningful, stable relationships.

When a person was raised in a toxic family, it means that they never got to see what unselfishness, trust, and unconditional love and support really mean. All that they got used to experiencing was manipulation, belittlement, insults, and blame games.

Therefore, it’s very hard for them to start trusting and open up to others. They may even unintentionally hurt a friend or their partner because they don’t know how to conduct themselves in normal, healthy relationships.

5. They have difficulty communicating too.

They have a difficult time sharing their opinions with other people, both those who are close to them and those they meet for the first time.

The fact that most of the time they weren’t allowed to express their opinions and ideas and defend themselves when criticized in their childhood is the reason why they’re often afraid to speak up and stand up for themselves in their adulthood.

Unfortunately, this is the reason why they often let other people put them down and weaken their confidence even more.

6. They surround themselves with toxic people for comfort.

No, this is not a joke. The thing is that growing up with so negative, selfish, inconsiderate people has caused toxicity to be like an addiction to them. They got so used to having toxic people around them that they don’t know any better.