1. Intentional efforts to look okay. Or happy or upbeat. Depression has many faces. It’s a myth that people suffering from depression are always down. Nobody wants to make others sad or miserable, so no wonder that depresses people try to look happy and “put together”. They deal with so much inside, but opening that door at social gatherings won’t make the situation better, so these people selfishly keep their burdens for themselves.
2. Abandonment issues. People with depression have abandonment issues lurking in the background others are not aware of. This fear of abandonment has sparked from a past experience or trauma and has influenced their entire life. This is a devastating thing to deal with daily. It presses your chest you feel the air cannot reach your lungs. You try to ignore that gnawing feeling, but it numbs only, and it somehow comes back stronger each time.
3. A philosophical approach to life. Depressed people are usually turning to the philosophical, the spiritual. They are interested in knowing more of what lies beyond the earthly, worldly pleasures and sins of our society. Their thinking is visionary, unique. They are interested in deep conversations, in hearing your opinion on such topics, and can go on with hours searching for the truth and the purpose of life, tirelessly.
4. Depressed people feel everything intensely and are super talented. They are like empaths. They understand pain and emotions. They’ve mastered them, so they know every shade, every layer of the human soul. No wonder people suffering from depression are so creative – it’s because all that inner suffering gives them space for that abundance in emotions, so much so, that the only way to fuel it is through creation, through art. It should come as no surprise that many artists dealt with depression at some point in life, and it is then when they produced their best works.
5. They often think about life and death. People suffering from hidden depression also contemplate death, or they just think about it. They like to experiment with the dimensions of human existence, and they also read a lot on the matter. Not all people have these thoughts, but some do, and they constantly think about the meaning and the purpose of life, the frustration of not being able to find that purpose and guidance, and what happens after death. Seeking something you cannot find at the moment can be overwhelming and frustrating, it makes you go even further into that abyss.
6. Anger and irritability. Being easily irritated or easily getting angry are other pointers of hidden depression. Lack of patience, short temper can also indicate that there is some underlying unhappiness, some frustration that the person is going through. They may be disappointed in life and tired from it, so they don’t care about their behavior and the consequences. If people suffering from depression feel like they cannot find the meaning in life, they will just emotionally start sinking and the direct result of that is uncontrolled anger even at social events or gatherings, unfiltered irritability, and impatience. They see no point in trying or investing in meaningful relationships when their thoughts are obscured by pain and the futility of life.
7. Thinking of worst-case scenarios and having a brain that never goes to sleep. Depression pushes you into a chasm where everywhere you look, all you see is ruins. Your brain never shuts down. You are constantly overthinking. You try to push dark thoughts away, but they keep coming back. You try to be busy to not think about them, but those thoughts lurk at the back of your head despite all your efforts. Your brain picks up the worst-case scenarios and replays them in your head, so you fear that bad things will happen and you torture yourself torn between the reality of the world and the reality of your mind.
A lot of depressed people try to get help, but the minute they pick up the phone to schedule an appointment with an expert, they shut it down. They refuse to show weakness. They stuff themselves into more and more work, thinking it will go away.
Don’t do it too, my friend. Get the help you need.
You are not alone. It’s normal to feel everything you feel. And it’s also normal and understandable to do something about it.
Nora Connel is a devoted writer with a BA in English Language and Literature. Her interests span around psychology, human relationships, and the inner self. She believes that writing has healing powers.