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7 Telltale Signs Of A Toxic Person And How To Handle Them

toxic person

I’m sure you’ve already dealt with them. Whether it’s the pessimistic or selfish friend, the jealous cousin, the grouchy co-worker, the difficult neighbor, you name it, toxic people can suck the happiness out of you and drain your energy.

These people are highly manipulative. They only care about their own needs and interests. To get what they want, they won’t be hesitant or shamed to lie to, belittle or blame you for things you haven’t done.

They’ll do whatever it takes to become the center of attention and make themselves appear smarter and better than you. They can lure you into their harmful trap before you can blink.

Recognizing the signs of toxic people will make you more prepared to deal with them and protect yourself from their negative and damaging influence.

Following are 7 telltale signs of toxic people:

1. They are inconsistent.

If you know someone who is kind, lovely, and supportive one day, but gets grumpy and starts criticizing or even insulting you the next, you can be sure you’re dealing with a toxic person.

Even if you don’t do anything that could upset and make them change their behavior towards you, they’ll treat you differently.  Toxic people are highly unpredictable and confusing and it’s difficult to tell which version of them you’re seeing at a given time.

2. They blatantly lie.

It’s hard to tell when a toxic person is honest and when they’re lying. To control and get what they want from you, they’ll use a series of lies without feeling any shame.

They can twist and hide information from you, intentionally mislead or downright lie to you. Moreover, they’re so good at obscuring the truth that they always manage to hide their faults successfully.

3. They are very selfish.

The only person they care about is themselves. To ensure their goals and needs are met, they always try to be the main topic of discussion. If you try to talk about your problems, they’ll immediately change the topic and redirect the attention to themselves.

They have no consideration for your feelings and wants. For example,  if you have a toxic boss, don’t be surprised if he/she gives you extra tasks to finish although you feel sick or need to pick up your kid from school that day. As long as their needs are satisfied, nothing else matters.

4. They create drama out of everything.

These attention seekers exaggerate their problems, no matter how little or big they are, and they always make an unnecessary fuss. It’s all about drama. They act as if the worst things always happen to them.

You know, their house got burgled, their partner cheated on them with their best friend, or their business went bankrupt. The list is endless. To make you sympathize with them, they’ll use every opportunity to complain and moan about how difficult their life is.

5. They always play the victim role.

Taking responsibility for their own actions is out of the question. They will lie to, belittle, and hurt you, but they’ll never admit their wrongdoings. Instead, they’ll act as if they’re the ones whose feelings have been hurt and of course, they did nothing to deserve that.

To make themselves look like innocent victims, they’ll always be willing to put the blame on you. They’ll use your words against you and make you feel irresponsible and inconsiderate. Or if they’re having a bad day, they’ll tell you that it’s your fault because you were too demanding or harsh on them. They’re ready to do anything to get their way.

6. They bad – mouth others.

Not to be the smartest and most successful person in the room is their biggest nightmare. To make themselves appear better than you, they won’t hesitate to downplay the importance of your achievements and make you feel unworthy. They aren’t ashamed to say bad things about you behind your back so as to tarnish your reputation and make themselves feel and look superior to you.

7. Whatever they say or do, they’re always right.

Although the things they say can often be a complete nonsense, they’ll never allow you to tell them, let alone prove that they’re wrong. They can come up with hundreds of arguments so as to show you and others that their point of view is right. They’ll argue with you and make the conversation unbearable until you give up. And of course, what you believe or say is either irrelevant or wrong.

How you can handle them

To prevent them from creating havoc in your life, the best thing would be to completely distance yourself from them.  Yet, in cases where you can’t just ignore them, here are 3 useful ways in which you can deal with them effectively:

1. Never trust them.

Don’t let their kindness and compassion fool you. This is only a mask they use to hide their true face and intentions. Keep your personal problems, secrets, and important information to yourself.

Try to talk about them with a toxic person and you’ll see how “popular” you’ll be in the city the next day. Most probably, they’ll use your secrets against you in front of others and ruin your reputation.

2. Don’t lose your temper.

Don’t let their negativity make you lose control over your behavior and start shouting at or insulting them. Instead, try to stay calm and politely disengage from the conversation.

3. Stand your ground.

Don’t let them push your limits and make you behave in a way which is opposed to your standards. Show them you’re firm in your beliefs and most likely they’ll give up trying to gain control over your opinions and actions.

Whichever way you choose, don’t try to change or fix them. Their behavior is beyond any repair!