It is very easy to get away in solitude and isolate yourself from all the annoying people, from all the negativity and evil in the world. Some of us have the opportunity and means to do this, if not regularly, but couple of times in the year.
Oh, those lucky ones who can get away in a beautiful resort and forget all about their problems and just relax….or are they lucky? Are these people really on a vacation or this is just a temporary, but conscious blindness that problems and negativity don’t exist? Well I suppose it is the second one.
The lucky ones are those who can remain in their inner peace while fighting on the first battle line in a war called “life”! And it is very possible to work, to deal with all that life serves you and to stay calm in the same time.
You see, we all have someone in our lives who loves to complain all the time and suck the life force out of everyone in the room. But this is not the reason for you also to become negative as they are or to embrace the situation as an unchangeable one.
And here are some pointers of what you could do when you are surrounded with such people that totally drain you or after speaking to them you feel like a firecracker ready to explode.
1.State your limits
A person is much like a house, if you don’t have a fence around your land all kind of animals shall come and eat the beautiful grass you have tended for years. Then they will destroy the walls and eventually walk right into your living room and dine with you. So it is of utmost importance for you and your health to put around you a big stop sign.
And if needed, be very open and loud when the other person persists in crossing over your limits, your fence. Protect your inner peace, because no one will do it for you.
2. Don’t lose your intelligence
In anger people very often lose their intelligence. They lower themselves so much that they start only to respond to all the negativity coming up their way. And this kind of resolving a problem is very wrong.
Only responding and not reacting, not defending is never the right choice. When someone starts their sad song recital, you should very politely distant yourself from that person and don’t react at all. Simply leave. If this is not possible, do tell that person that you don’t want to hear that same old story and try to change the subject.
3. Stay away from the “trigger subject”
If we analyze all those negative people, we shall come to an understanding that they complain or burst in anger only about one particular thing. If you find the source of the problem that keeps this person to talk 24/7, try to avoid that particular subject.
And if someone else touches that trigger, you should quickly change the conversation to a lighter topic or find something that involves deeper thinking so you can keep their mind busy.
4. Focus on finding solution
If the negative person is someone close to you or someone you work with it’s not that easy to walk away and leave them standing. So this negative situation is inevitable and the best way to survive is to think about all the solutions that can actually help that person to solve their problem.
If they are willing to listen, stay and talk, try to find some happy conclusion to this whole negativity. But if you see that they are not interested in resolving their situation, why should you be their savior? Remember you cannot save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. They’ll only drain you while you are helping them.
5. Maintain emotional detachment
Every time you are surrounded with negative people or you are in a negative situation that isn’t yours, you must emotionally distance yourself from everything that is negative.
Try remembering that you are not your friend or that negative person, you are not this situation, the situation doesn’t involve you, it is just happening around you. So don’t let yourself be pulled down, stay as a spectator and just observe, use this experience as a lesson from which you can learn something for future times if you find yourself again in such situation.
6. Don’t try to change others
Trying to change the attitude of others is our biggest mistake. People in essence are egoistic and they think that they are always right. And you can never ever try to discuss a change of character with someone who enjoys being in the center of every drama, and makes drama when they are not in the center!
Remember that not everyone is like you and even if they were, they’ll probably need some time to come to their senses. So say what you have to say, detached yourself from all the negativity they want to transfer to you and let them be. If they want to be miserable it’s their right, they’ll be unhappy, not you.
7. Find time to recuperate
If you live or work with a negative person and you can see that there will be no change in their attitude for the time being, you should find a way to keep your energy level high on daily basis.
It’s not a world’s end if you are stuck with a negative person, you just need to find a practice that equalizes the energy they take, with the new energy that you shall bring into yourself. There are plenty of such beautiful techniques you can use: meditation, yoga, tai-chi or any spiritual practice that you find yourself connected with.
Remember always to charge yourself with enough positivity, so even if they take some, you will stay happily calm and perfectly all right.