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7 Ways to Find out If Your Spouse is Cheating: Tips to Find the Truth


Are you wondering whether your partner is still loyal to you or cheating? Stop guessing and discover these seven proven signs that they are seeing someone else.

Infidelity is a tough challenge that relationships face.

No relationship is immune to cheating, whether you’ve been together for a month or 20 years.

People can cheat for different reasons, including lack of love, neglect, need for variety, anger (revenge), low commitment, and more.

While signs of cheating are always unique for each relationship, there are common hints to look out for.

Let me tell you something: if you feel in your gut that your partner is cheating, you might be right.

So, how do you find out if your partner is cheating on you?

Let’s get to it.

7 Sure-Fire Ways to Tell If Your Spouse Is Cheating

Here are some common infidelity indicators you shouldn’t ignore:

1. Sudden Improved Appearance

We should all strive to look neat because self-image matters. But we don’t always improve our appearance for our own sake. 

So, have your significant other started eating healthier, exercising, buying attractive clothes, or even using a new perfume with a sexier smell?

Sure, they could be doing this to please you, but odds are, they want to impress an affair partner.

So, when you see them with a new hairstyle, haircut, or underwear followed by a social event or outing where you aren’t invited, you may want to dig a little further.

2. A Change in Phone Habits

In cheating, communication is critical. And since the affair partner is away, phone communication is what helps keep things running; that’s when your partner is at home.

Here are signs that your partner could be seeing someone else:

  • Their phone or laptop has a password that it didn’t have before (and you have no hint what the password is).
  • They never relinquish their phone and can even take it to the bathroom when taking a shower.
  • You ask to review or use your partner’s phone, and they say no.

Honestly, what else could be there, except details about your surprise birthday, which they’d like to keep hidden?

But here’s a caveat:

Some married couples agree to have a flexible monogamous relationship to be together but still see other people.

If that’s the case, your partner’s phone habits may change because they could be using cheating and affair apps and don’t want everyone at home to know they’re talking with someone else. 

And that’s OK because you’d already  agreed to such an arrangement.

3. Unexplained Expenses

Let’s be honest.

Cheating costs money: trips, hotel rooms, gifts, wines, and dinners, etc. And the costs of infidelity can add up real quick.

So, how do you know your significant other is spending a tidy sum on someone else?

It’s easy. 

You’ll notice unusual changes in the way they spend money. 

For example, you’ll notice odd charges on their credit cards, sudden insufficient cash in their bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, and so on.

But wait, there’s more.

You may also notice evidence of purchases from specific places you rarely buy or don’t frequent. 

This may show that your partner is probably spending money on someone else.

4. Your Partner is Unreachable at Certain Times

Sure, the phone battery can die when they’re out with the kids or on a work-related trip.

But caring partners will always alert you when they realize the phone is almost off and aren’t close to a source of power.

But what happens when your partner goes out and suddenly, you can reach them?

And here is what always follows after periods of silence: legitimate-sounding excuses.

You’re likely to hear things like I was in a meeting, in a dead-zone, I was driving and didn’t have an idea you were trying to reach me.

And here’s a similar sign but a subtle one: The phone rings and messages are delivered, but no one responds for hours. 

Chances are the phone is on silent mode while they are paying attention to someone else.

If any of these things happen more frequently and without a prior reasonable explanation, dishonesty could be behind it.

5. Increased or Reduced Sexual Drive

Have you noticed a drastic change in the bedroom?

Cheating isn’t only possible when your significant other seems more sexually active than before. If their sex drive drops without any reason, cheating could be the reason.

Let me explain.

If your partner’s sex drive has suddenly spiked, it might be because they’ve found new love. Besides, they could be trying to cover up the infidelity.

On the other hand, if there’s less sex, your partner could be emotionally disconnected from you. They could be thinking about someone else when you two are in bed.

But don’t be quick to judge. Stress can also lower sexual drive. 

Not to mention, your partner could have learned new sex techniques from the internet to spice up things in your rather dull bedroom performance. 

Ask them whether they’re stressed or watched a video online to make you happier in bed. Also, find out whether other cheating signs discussed are evident.

6. Their Friends Aren’t as Friendly as before

Typically, cheaters tend to be less cautious when covering their tracks before their friends versus you.

Oh, and here’s another thing: people often confide in their friends.

The result?

Your partner’s friends may have a clear idea of what’s happening before you do. And if the friends know something, they might start feeling anxious and uneasy around you.

And the reason for their weird behavior is simple: they probably know something about your partner that you don’t.

7. Avoidance and Deflection When You Ask about Cheating

If your mate is cheating in your relationship, the very last thing in the world they’d like to do is discuss it with you.

So what do they do when you introduce the topic?

You guessed it – they’ll most likely deflect or even avoid it altogether.

Simply put, your spouse will do all they can to switch to a different topic. They might also try to shift the blame to you for suspecting and thinking ill of them.

If this keeps happening, it might mean they have made up their mind to be with someone else. In that case, they don’t want to save the relationship, which is why you may consider talking to them about divorce.

Bottom Line

Your partner could manifest all of the above signs, but still not be cheating.

But these are tale telltale signs that something is amiss in their life or/and your relationship as a whole.

It might not necessarily be cheating, but it’s something that you two need to talk about.

The good news is realizing your partner’s infidelity doesn’t mark the end of the relationship. 

It only shows that your significant other has some work to do to make things right, redeem your trust, and restore sexual and emotional intimacy.

When you discover these signs, consider talking about it so as to save the relationship and future relationships as cheating has been proved to impact subsequent relationships.