What Does It Mean When A Guy Is With You For Convenience?
Just because someone is in a relationship with you, doesn’t mean they’re seriously in love with you. No, my dear. He may be with you because you’re good for his ego. He may be with you because you make him feel better about himself. And maybe he doesn’t want to be alone, so he is just wasting his time with you.
However, sometimes, we don’t realize that there are so many red flags that show us our partner is not worth our energy and time.
A relationship of convenience is an unhealthy relationship that has no mutual understanding; the partners are not equal when it comes to their needs and desires, and to put it simply, there is no genuine love. There is just a physical and no emotional connection, and your partner is never ready to define your relationship. Therefore, it is always best to end this type of relationship and let no one use you because it is not worth it and there is no future for this type of relationship.
Here are 14 signs that he isn’t serious about you, you’re just his backup plan:
1. He treats you like an option, not a priority.
He always has plans, but you’re rarely a part of them. He chooses to spend his time with his friends and relatives. He never makes a healthy balance between time spent with you and them. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re treated like an option, and run and never come back because you’re just convenient.
2. He is mysterious.
When was the last time you heard him talking about his life expectations, dreams, goals, secrets, fears, and deepest emotions with you? He is emotionally unavailable like a puzzle that waits for you to be solved. It makes you feel awkward.
3. It’s all about him.
The whole world revolves around him. He thinks he is always right. He is willing to compromise and acts kind when he needs a favor from you. He doesn’t care about your needs and wants. He neither admits nor apologizes for his mistakes. Your heart has become food for his grandiose ego.
4. He is always busy.
Are you always justifying him when he’s telling you he can’t make time for you? Don’t you ever do that! No one is always busy. People make time for those who matter to them. If he can’t make time for you, he is definitely not worth your time.
5. He talks about his ex-partners.
Moreover, he keeps in touch with them and leaves you wondering whether he is in a relationship with you or them. You deserve to be with someone with whom you will know where you stand; someone who won’t make a mess out of your feelings and emotions.
6. He is only interested in sex.
You’re his booty call. He considers you nothing more than a friend with benefit. He calls you only when he wants you to satisfy his sexual needs. What can you expect from a man who only wants to get in your pants? What can you expect from someone who has no idea what love is?
7. He never talks about the future with you.
Being with him, the future seems to be a very distant place. He sweeps you off your feet and calls you whenever he needs a teddy bear to cure his loneliness. But, he isn’t interested in moving in together, he avoids making plans for the future. He isn’t serious about your relationship. You’re dating a manipulative commitment-phobe.
8. You feel your relationship is going nowhere.
He doesn’t know the real you and you feel like a stranger around him, stuck in the middle of nowhere. With him, you experience nothing more than half-hearted love. Never settle for that.
9. He is not emotionally connected with you.
True love means a real emotional connectedness and open conversation. So, if he is not open with you, doesn’t share his problems, and demonstrates any closeness, it is for sure a red flag you are his girlfriend of convenience.
10. He doesn’t ask for your opinion on any big decisions in life.
He should consider your feelings as equal to his own and shows that he truly respects you. If he makes important decisions in life like changing his workplace or moving his place of living and doesn’t ask for your opinion, your relationship is not as serious as it should be.
11. He makes you live according to his schedule.
His schedule is always convenient, not yours. If you do not follow it, you do not do yourself a favor. But, in a relationship, both partners matter, and no one should expect the other to live only by his schedule.
12. He is a manipulator.
He threatens that he will end the relationship if you do not follow his rules, the rules that are convenient for him. Do not let yourself in a relationship where someone manipulates you and where you should always say “yes” and agree to his rules no matter how much you love him.
13. He finds comfort in you.
He finds comfort in you when his other relationship ends because he knows he can and you are always there for him to help him get over his ex-girlfriend. But this doesn’t mean he loves you, he just takes advantage of you and you are his convenient girlfriend.
14. He has great expectations from you.
He expects everything from you, but, in turn, he doesn’t commit enough to the relationship. He always blames you for his faults because he finds that easier. He would not do it if he truly respects and loves you.
7 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Using You As A Placeholder
You are probably in love with the guy you are together with, but you cannot see signs of true love in his eyes and you think you are just a placeholder, a person he holds until he finds someone better, someone he would think his true love is.
He is sometimes distant, avoids discussing future plans, flirts with other girls, and your relationship is not built on genuine love and mutual respect.
If the following signs are present and you notice them, you should make a move and find your own way to a brighter future and get out of the relationship as soon as possible.
1. He did not introduce you to his family and friends
If he sees you as a placeholder, he wouldn’t like to meet his family or friend because they might pressure him to marry you and marriage is the last thing that would come to his mind. He doesn’t make any big future plans for you together and wants to isolate you from all important people in his life, which can be rather toxic for your relationship.
2. He wants a secretive relationship
Maybe he wants to appear single? This is a bad sign for your relationship. He tries to appear available for other women until he finds his true love and of course, you are just his placeholder. You are always dating in some secretive places, and you haven’t yet defined as a couple? Well, drop this guy; he is an idiot.
3. He sees your relationship as a one-way street
He never asks how you feel and do you have any problems to give you some help or advice, but he always asks for your help for his. Are you his therapist? Well, there is nothing wrong with seeking comfort in your partner, but this should be two – way street. This is just another sign that your relationship is fake and not genuine and there is a lack of support.
4. He comments on other women’s looks
If he tries to have something real and long-lasting with you, he would not never comment on other girls’ looks or talk about what kind of girl he would like to date. You probably feel very angry and insulted. This is such an obvious sign that your relationship is toxic and it would not be hard for him to break it.
5. He doesn’t support you and show enough interest in you
He doesn’t support or show any interest in your endeavors, dreams, or passions and talks about theirs. Sometimes he doesn’t even text you back when you write him. This is an obvious sign of lack of interest and support, so you should realize that this relationship has no future and try to end it as soon as possible.
6. He might tell you that you two are not meant to be
This sign is probably the most obvious one that something is wrong in your relationship and that your partner is trying to tell you that your relationship will end up soon. Do not take it personally; it is just you were not meant to be together and believe what they say. Anyway, be more careful in the future; it will save you from heartbreak.
7. He uses you as a casual rebound
He just ended his serious relationship, and he needs a shoulder to cry on. There is a chance that you remind him of his ex-girlfriend and he thinks he is still with her. This is a bad sign, and you are just his placeholder.
9 Ways To End Up A Placeholder Relationship
You may feel that your partner doesn’t appreciate you, he is not interested in you enough, and that both of you are not a perfect match. You probably need the courage to tell him this in the face and leave him. So, carry on reading to see how you can gain enough courage to speak up about how you feel excluded and that you are willing to walk away.
1. Check to see if your relationship looks temporary and describe how your true relationship would look like
You have probably concluded that your relationship is not serious and you and your partner have not made any real plans for the future. Your partner doesn’t show any interest in your dreams and life goals. You already have a description of a love relationship you want to have and that will make you feel happy and satisfied, and the one you have now it is worthy, and it doesn’t match your description.
You can write down and describe the treatment you want to have to feel loved and feel emotionally connected, not just physically.
You might need stronger communication with your partner and you need someone to talk to about your problems and issues you have in life.
2. Identify what it means most for you
Identify and explain to your partner what it means to you to be cared for and explain why you feel he doesn’t care enough for you. Maybe you need more quality time together, gifts, touch, or another expression of your love language. Tell him what makes you feel appreciated and happy.
3. Ask him if he has healed from his past relationship
In some cases, some partners are not healed enough from their past relationships and are not ready to commit themselves to a new one. Talk with your partner about this, and if he has not healed enough from his past relationships, investing and committing yourself in the current relationship is no use and feels like a casual rebound.
4. Speak openly about behaviors that put doubts about your relationship
Always be ready to share your perspective about questions that question your relationship. Some of them may be subtle, some of them may be dramatic, like your partner flirting with girls, not spending too much time together, and some other things that are not normal for a healthy relationship.
5. Be ready to discuss with your partner about future
You might feel that your relationship looks too stuck in the present and you both never consider how it will be like if you stay together in the future. This is a big sign that your relationship is short – term and you can start asking your partner questions about how he sees your relationship a year from now, and you can see how they feel about it from their answer.
6. Start speaking about his family and friends
Speak up if you feel excluded and isolated from his family and friends and you are not completely integrated into his life. If he doesn’t answer you and doesn’t feel like talking about the topic, it means that your relationship is meant to be short.
7. State your romantic visions clearly
Be bold, state clearly all your romantic visions, and compare them with your partner. Let them know what you expect from your relationship, starting from emotional support just up to watching films and dining together at least once a week.
8. Check if your partner impacts negatively on your health
Sometimes you may feel drained and exhausted from your relationship. Maybe he is not aware of the negative impact he has on you. That is why you should speak with him and tell him that you are tired, burnout, and emotionally drained. These are all signs of an emotionally imbalanced relationship and you can either speak about it openly with your partner or just end up the relationship.
9. Tell them openly that you want to end the relationship
In the end, you can make a strong statement and state that you feel like a placeholder, and you want a meaningful and nourishing relationship and you are ready to leave because you are ready just for a real relationship that makes you happy and doesn’t wear you out.
Mary Wright is a professional writer with more than 10 years of incessant practice. Her topics of interest gravitate around the fields of the human mind and the interpersonal relationships of people.If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as possible https://curiousmindmagazine.com/contact-us/ .