Have you ever wondered why some couples are more successful and stay together longer than others? Well, here’s the answer: successful couples are not afraid to hurt each other’s feelings or set boundaries and they don’t feel ashamed when they occasionally get attracted to someone outside the relationship. Although these things are totally opposed to what most people believe to be normal or romantic in a relationship, they make all relationships healthy.
Romantic things like walking in nature while holding hands, watching sunsets together on a beach, or cuddling are what keep the positive energy and passion alive in every relationship. Yet, they’re not enough for a relationship to be healthy and meaningful. Contrary to them, behaviors that most people perceive as negative and toxic are the necessary ingredients for a relationship to be healthy and successful.
If you want to make your relationship succeed and last longer, make sure you start practicing the following 8 behaviors:
1. Not being afraid to hurt each other’s feelings.
Would you rather lie to and make your beloved believe in something which is not true, or would you be honest and tell them the truth, no matter how painful and harsh it is? Whenever my partner says or does something that offends me or hurts my feelings, I’m never afraid to call him out on it and you shouldn’t be as well.
Maybe both of you won’t feel comfortable while having the conversation and your partner may start complaining that you’re being too harsh on them. Yet, remember that it’s always better to be honest and upfront than pretending everything is okay.
2. Setting boundaries.
It doesn’t mean that just because you’re together and share many things, you can’t have privacy and personal space. Setting boundaries with good intentions is important for you so as to preserve your mental and emotional well-being.
Successful couples know and respect each other’s boundaries. A clear boundary means that your partner won’t insist on you doing things you don’t want to do and they won’t expect from you to constantly inform them about your whereabouts and who you hang out with.
3. Being critical.
Unjustifiable, harsh and negative criticism is certainly toxic. Yet, honest and constructive criticism is healthy and it can greatly contribute to the relationship. Reprimanding and criticizing your partner for their negative behavior, like alcohol or drug abuse or financial management can only protect the relationship from more problems.
4. … But, accepting your partner’s faults as well.
If you and your beloved accept each other’s flaws, fears, insecurities, and failures, instead of trying to change each other’s character and habits, don’t doubt that your love is pure and that your relationship is headed in the right direction. Healthy and successful couples know that their partner’s imperfections are a part of them. It’s what makes them different from everybody else and it’s one of the reasons why you fell head over heels in love with them.
5. Leaving some conflicts unresolved.
No relationship is blissful and conflict-free. You’ll always find things that you don’t like about your partner or opinions, ideas, and decisions you disagree with. Yet, solving conflicts can often hurt your feelings more than help you and trying to change your partner’s habits and behavior so as to suit yours is totally unfair, immature, and selfish. You have to decide which conflicts are worth resolving and leave the rest.
6. Taking some time apart.
Just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that the things you liked and did and the person you were before have to disappear. If you or your partner want to have a me-time, this shouldn’t be taken as a sign that you want to end the relationship. It’s normal and healthy for you to want to have personal space and time in which you will simply concentrate on your needs and wishes, reconsider important decisions, enjoy your favorite activities, or hang out with your friends.
7. Occasionally feeling attracted to others.
We’ve all been there, right? Yeah, I know that it’s an unfair thing to do to your partner and socially unacceptable but it’s happened to all of us. Just because you might occasionally find someone attractive or you flirt with another guy/woman, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person and intend to cheat on your beloved.
If you have such feelings don’t suppress them as you’ll only intensify them even more or even decide to run into the other person’s hands and cheat on your partner. You can also become insanely jealous of your partner and control their every move. You can’t control whether you’ll get attracted to some appealing, charming, and interesting guy or woman, but you can control your actions.
8. Not being afraid to end the relationship.
Unfortunately, many believe that once they get into a relationship with someone, they should stay in it for good. Although they no longer feel respected or secure in their relationship, they stay with a partner who is distant, selfish, or even physical abuser.
A relationship can be labeled healthy and successful if you decide to end it before it becomes detrimental to your health. Moreover, by knowing that your partner will be always there and if they feel about you in the same way, you’ll feel like you don’t have to work on your behavior and become a better version of yourself. You have to know when it’s the right time to let go.
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.