Being in a relationship with the right person is a true bliss. However, relationships are not always milk and honey; they can be very complicated and shitty.
We fall in love, lose ourselves, give our best, learn from our mistakes…and still can’t escape the thorny path of the breakup. One relationship after another, and one after another one: it seems like a never-ending process. It’s painful.
Here are 8 reasons why I’ m more afraid of dating than of being single.
1. I’m not afraid of sleeping alone, I fear waking up beside someone who doesn’t deserve my love.
I really don’t mind sleeping alone. I’m not afraid of the dark. I’m neither afraid of nightmares, nor I need someone to wake me up in the middle of the night. I have learned to share my bed with myself alone.
Better to sleep alone than beside someone whose breath smell on alcohol; someone who is the reason for my fear… Someone who doesn’t give a damn about me.
2. I’m not afraid of falling in love, I fear to fall for the wrong person.
I believe in love. Real love. I accept it with my hands wide open. But, all those relationships…everyone seemed to appear wrong.
I am sick and tired of falling for the wrong person, being in the wrong relationship… I fear that the next relationship will be nothing more than another failure. I’m afraid he will treat me the way I don’t deserve to be treated.
3. I’m not afraid of being alone, I fear to be in a relationship with someone who makes me feel alone.
I have learned to enjoy and appreciate my own company. I am single, and I don’t feel lonely because of that.
I won’t stay in a relationship that will make me feel empty. I would rather be alone than being with someone whose presence will make me feel incomplete and lonely.
4. I’m not afraid of not having a conversation, I fear to have a small boring talk.
We sit and stare into each other’s eyes. Silence. Suddenly, he asks me: “What did you have for breakfast”? Come on… It’s pretty clear that the conversation will lead us nowhere.
I would rather have a conversation with myself a whole day along than talking with someone whom I have nothing to share with, neither he has. Just a small boring talk.
5. I’m not afraid of being single, I fear to share my life with a stranger.
I am fine with being single. I am independent. I am strong. I learned to love and take care of myself. I’m not afraid of eating alone, going alone to the cinema or having my morning coffee alone.
I fear I will wake up one day and won’t recognize the person whom I have been sharing all my life with. People change…sometimes for the worse. I fear he will not be the same person I fell in love with.
6. I’m not afraid of change, I fear that he will never accept me the way I’m.
I embrace change if it is for the best. I am not afraid to accept my mistakes, change certain behaviors, learn and grow.
What I fear is that he will never stop asking for changes; he will never respect my real identity and love me the way I am.
7. I’m not afraid of making love, I fear he will disappear after that night.
When I love I do it wholeheartedly, with my mind, soul, and body. I’m not afraid to get naked and share my feelings with him. I’m not afraid of making love.
I fear he will see me nothing more than a warm body. I fear he will be the type of man who will do anything just to make me sleep with him.
I fear I will fall deeply in love with him. I fear he will use me for a night and then will go by the wind.
8. I’m not afraid of crying, I fear he will be the reason for my tears.
I’m not afraid of crying, not at all; Tears release all the pain locked in my soul. I fear he will bring me to tears; I fear he will be the reason for my pain.
I fear he will manipulate and torture me. And instead of living the life I deserve, I will become his victim.
I’m not afraid to give someone my heart, I fear he will play with it and throw it like garbage.
I deserve to be treated the same way I treat others: with love and respect. That’s why I’m afraid of dating and prefer to stay single… until “the right one” shows up to heal my fears.
Image: Lara Wernet