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8 Smart Steps To Successfully Eliminate Toxic People From Your Life


The type of people you spend time with has a big influence on the quality of your life. Some people contribute to your happiness and success and some drag you down. Some help you grow and lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life and some suck all the energy and happiness out of you.

Yes … you guessed it, the second part of the two sentences refers to toxic people.

Toxic people can be found everywhere around you and they come in all shapes and sizes: The Complainers. The Debbie Downers.  The Manipulators. The Liars. The Gossipmongers. The Selfish. The Envious. The Judgmental – you get the point.

And they all share the same characteristics – they are draining, highly negative, and insufferable.

The main problem regarding toxic people is that they know how to get under your skin and gain your trust. And once they do this, once they lure you into their trap, they manipulate you in whatever way they want. They make you act in ways that suit them and they take advantage of you and your kindness.

To save yourself from their toxicity and sick mind games, you need to make sure that you stay away from them.

Yes, this can be extremely difficult, especially when the toxic person is a family member. But when someone has a damaging influence on your overall well-being and happiness, then cutting all ties with them is the best and most reasonable thing you can do to save yourself.

Here are 8 smart steps to successfully eliminate toxic people from your life:

1. Set and maintain boundaries.

Toxic people thrive on violating other people’s boundaries. They have no consideration for your feelings, needs, and time.

A person who uses you as a means of satisfying their own needs will take advantage of your kindness and weaknesses to make you please them. With their manipulation tactics, they can make you compromise your own happiness, needs, and priorities so as to take care of theirs.

Therefore, you need to set and enforce firm boundaries and seriously think about what things you’ll tolerate and what things you won’t from family members, friends, co-workers, and partners.

2. Admit and accept your weaknesses.

When you’re in a toxic relationship, be that romantic or otherwise, the toxic person will always capitalize on your insecurities and fears and use them against you.

However, you can prevent them from exploiting your weaknesses by simply understanding yourself better and recognizing and embracing your flaws.

Work on your self-improvement and balance your weaknesses against your good qualities. In this way, you won’t let the toxic person intimidate and manipulate you when they try to point out and exploit your flaws.

3. Never get pulled into their crises.

In order to make it easier for themselves to get your attention and manipulate you, a toxic person will often create drama and act like they’re in crisis. They’ll act like they’re disappointed or oppressed and they’ll ask for an ear for you to lend.

But remember that they’re not really in crisis. Or maybe they are, but in one that exists only in their twisted, wicked mind. All they want to do is get your time and attention. So make sure you don’t give in to them.

4. Focus on the solution, not the problem.

A toxic person can stress you out and make you feel angry or sad in many ways. But if you focus on the negative effect they have on you or try to understand their behavior, you’ll start feeling even more frustrated and helpless.

Therefore, instead of focusing all your energy and attention on the way their toxicity affects you, focus on finding a solution that will help you clear up the mental and emotional chaos crippling your life.

5. Limit their influence on your emotions.

The more power over your feelings a toxic person has, the easier it is for them to control you. They can make you feel like you’re a weak, incapable, fearful, or unworthy person, but don’t fall for their sick mind games.

Whenever you feel this way when around a toxic person, remember that this has nothing to do with you, but them. This is just their tactic to project onto you the bad parts of themselves that they don’t want to admit and accept.

6. Don’t engage in every argument they try to pick with you.

You’ll need plenty of time and energy to solve conflicts with toxic people. You don’t have to engage in every argument a toxic friend, family member, co-worker, or you name it, might try to get you involved in.  

Instead, use that energy to nurture your relationships with people that are genuine, trustworthy, kind-hearted, and take care of yourself.

7. Surround yourself with kind and honest people.

Surround yourself with sincere, compassionate, caring, and positive people. People that genuinely love and care about you and want the best for you. People that have proven that they deserve your trust and respect.

By surrounding yourself with people that make you feel happy, fulfilled, safe, and cherished, you’ll deal with any problem, sadness, and, of course, difficult person more easily and effectively.

8. Know that they may throw tantrums.

Always keep in mind that if a toxic person feels ignored, they can have temper tantrums. This is just one of the many tactics they use when they notice that you are preventing them from controlling and manipulating you.

However, never give in to such people when their behavior gets worse. Instead, remind yourself that you’re showing these insufferable people that you’ll no longer tolerate their bullsh*t.