Ending a relationship can bring a great sense of relief if your partner treated you poorly. Otherwise, no matter, if it’s about a short or long-term relationship, breaking up sucks. It’s about time, energy and efforts you already spent.
Moreover, it’s about dealing with a bunch of negative feelings, and that’s painful.
However, when you feel the end is near, you’re helpless to escape it. Something inside urges you: “It’s time to move on”.
So, you decide to end the relationship with your partner…and all the difficulty starts here: you need to go through the breakup. You need to do it without causing much pain and make the process easier for both sides.
Here are 8 things you should avoid when you break up with someone.
1. Don’t make a final decision too fast.
Breaking up is a big life decision, hard as well. You need to be clear whether you want to share your life with a person or not.
Therefore, before you decide to break up, make sure you spend some time with yourself, your thoughts and feelings.
Once you bring your final decision, don’t wait for too long to tell your partner.
2. Don’t break up by sending them a message. Don’t do it in public.
Unless your partner did something awful, and if you respect them, break up in person. Also, don’t do it in public as you won’t be able to express yourselves fully. Be clear about why you want a breakup. Be honest and fair.
Don’t make a drama, don’t create a mess; don’t blame your partner or yourself. Do it gracefully as you don’t want to hurt them, as well as yourself.
3. Don’t break up when you’re angry.
When you’re angry, you don’t think rationally. You’re led by your emotions and impulsiveness. At that moment, you may break up and then, regret it later.
Therefore, if you want to make a good decision, do it when you’re feeling calm.
4. Don’t try to be friend with them.
At least, not immediately. Don’t try to make the other person feel better; you aren’t responsible for their feelings anymore.
Don’t try to comfort them because you can’t. It’s a fact: pain cannot be avoided. You will just make things worse than they already are.
5. Don’t immediately get back together.
Of course, you will miss them, especially if you get out from a long-term relationship. You were a part of each other’s lives.
However, you should be clear with yourself about why you would like to get back: Is it because you miss them, or you miss being in a relationship?
6. Don’t call or text, and don’t stalk them on social media.
So, you told them you want a breakup, and now you send your ex-partner a message? You give them a call? Don’t do that. You’re not helping them.
Why? Simply because it brings confusion; each message or call means another chance. Your ex-partner will think that you want to be in a relationship with them.
Don’t do that if you aren’t sure what you want.
7. Don’t date the first person you meet after the breakup.
Maybe you want to get a revenge, or you want to move on with your life as soon as possible. However, that doesn’t mean you should fall into the arms of the first person you meet.
Take your time. Allow yourself to recover from the pain. Think about what you want from the next relationship. Think about improving yourself.
Isn’t the breakup supposed to teach us something?
8. Take care of yourself.
Work out, get busy, enjoy your new hobby, get more sleep, call your friends…don’t get isolated.
Surround yourself with people who love you. Get your life back on the track.
You are beautiful. You are strong. You will be well.
Image: Kaylee Brendel
Sandy White is a creative writer with a vivid imagination. The power of curiosity leads her to explore people’s inner world which is portrayed in her articles.