We all feel we deserve respect from others. But has it ever occurred to us to stop and ask ourselves whether we’re respecting the person staring at us in the mirror? I believe I know the answer.
Unfortunately, people wrongly think that respect means following the norms, agreeing with everything someone says, or praising and worshiping someone because you respect them or the other way round. But, respect is so much more than that. Respect is about being true to and have confidence in yourself. It’s about listening to your thoughts and emotions.
Respect is about accepting and cherishing yourself just the way you are, with all your quirks, irritating habits, insecurities, and fears. It’s about treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and love. Respect is about feeling comfortable in your own skin.
When you don’t accept yourself the way you are and feel comfortable in your own skin, you project onto other people what you don’t like and accept about yourself. And in this way, you’ll never be able to respect yourself and others as well.
Here are 8 things you do that show you’re disrespecting yourself:
1. You seek the approval of others.
You constantly seek the validation of other people. Whether it’s about your feelings, beliefs, physical appearance, or actions, you seek their consent and approval. You also have a hard time making decisions, both small and big, and therefore, you ask for your friends and family members’ opinion.
You need to understand that no one has the right to decide for yourself and have control over your opinions, beliefs, and actions. You’re the master of your own life. You don’t need others to tell you how to live it.
2. You put yourself last.
You always take care of others and put their feelings, needs, and problems ahead of your own. You spend your time and energy on helping others solve their problems while neglecting yours.
I know, caring for and helping others bring us joy and satisfaction. Yet, that doesn’t mean you should put yourself last on your priority list. And no, this is not selfish at all. It has another name – it’s called self-care. And only when you practice self-care, will you feel more emotionally stable and productive.
3. You hide your emotions.
You tend to suppress negative feelings such as fear, sadness, and anger because you perceive them as weaknesses. Therefore, you don’t display them in public. Sometimes you even hide your joy and excitement because you fear others may think you’re boastful or arrogant.
But, know that by hiding your true feelings you prevent yourself from feeling things truly and deeply. So, if you want to scream, then scream at the top of your lungs. If you feel like crying, cry your eyes out. If you want to show your love, show it wholeheartedly.
If you feel worried, sad, depressed, or angry, and someone asks you, Is everything okay,? don’t say, Yes, I’m fine. Instead, tell them honestly how you feel. Acknowledge your emotions and be honest with yourself.
4. You often tell white lies to impress others.
When you pretend to be someone you’re not just to impress others, this is a sure sign you’re disrespecting yourself and suffer from low self-esteem. Don’t lie to other people so as to make them like you. When you present a fake image of yourself, you always run the risk of getting busted. And when that happens, you’ll lose your integrity for good.
So, be yourself. You’re good enough and worthy just the way you are. And if someone can’t see that, then they’re not worth your time and attention.
5. You’re hard on yourself.
We all make mistakes and experience failure. But, they’re not fatal or something we should punish ourselves for. They’re lessons. It is through them that we grow, learn more things about ourselves and the world around us, and become wiser and stronger.
There’s no point punishing yourself by indulging in negative self-talk and blaming yourself when you make a mistake or fail to accomplish a goal and meet your expectations. What you need to do is forgive yourself and let go.
6. You keep doing things you don’t like.
Whether it’s a relationship, job, or lifestyle, doing the things that bring you more harm than good is not the way how you should treat yourself. There’s no point spending your energy and time on people and things that are not beneficial for you.
Moreover, this kind of masochistic behavior can greatly affect your mental and emotional health and even cause serious conditions, such as anxiety and depression.
7. You’re angry.
You can feel angry for variety of reasons. You can be angry with your parents, partner, brother or sister, or coworker. You can even be angry at yourself.
Yet, no matter the person you’re angry with and the reason, anger is always an indicator that you’re not satisfied with your current situation. So, make some changes. Fix and improve the things you don’t like about your life.
8. You don’t trust your gut.
You tend to ignore that little, inner voice in your head because you fear to hear the ugly truth. You’re afraid to hear how you truly feel about someone or something. You’re also afraid to base your decisions on your intuition because you worry it presents too much of a risk.
You also silence your inner voice when you want to resist change and avoid conflict. But, remember that no matter how hard you try to ignore your intuition and believe in illusions you create and find easier to accept than the truth, the latter will always find its way to you.
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.