No one deliberately falls in love with a narcissist (unless this kind of person is your type). However, before realizing your Prince Charming is actually a narcissist in disguise, you may be initially attracted to someone who is kind, supportive, loving, and who shows deep interest in you.
You think you’re living in a fairytale. He showers you with compliments, sweet words, and gifts, brings you flowers, and takes you to expensive restaurants, and it works. And honestly, who wouldn’t be swept off their feet by this kind of attention?
He knows you’re searching for true love and he does his best to present himself as the person you’ve been waiting for your entire life. He treats you with lots of love and admiration and makes you feel special and you begin to think that’s it – you have found the ONE.
And when the first red flags start to appear in the relationship, you choose to ignore them. You simply can’t admit it to yourself that you’ve fallen for such false flattery, empty promises, and blatant lies. You try to justify his behavior by telling yourself that he just had a bad day and that tomorrow things will be like they were before.
But the truth is, his behavior doesn’t get better and you end up stuck in a relationship with a person who isn’t capable of loving anyone but himself. And gradually this entitled, self-centered, draining person starts to consume your energy and damage your confidence and self-esteem more and more with each new day.
So, if most of the following 8 signs sound like your partner, then yeah, he’s definitely a narcissist in disguise.
1. He’s obsessed with perfection.
Since narcissists consider themselves perfect, they’d never allow themselves to be with someone who is all “flawed.” So, don’t be surprised when your guy gives you advice about how you should improve your looks, change your hairstyle, wear more elegant clothes, or speak more quietly, and the list goes on. He can even try to control the way you think and perceive the world.
What he’s actually trying to do is to mold you into a person he thinks is ideal. And if you’re not aware of his intentions, you run the risk of losing your identity.
2. He’s very charismatic … for a while, though.
Of course, if he’d revealed his true colors from the start, you would’ve never fallen in love with him. That’s why narcissists are real charmers in the beginning and do their best to make their partner feel like they’re the center of their world.
They blind you with their charm and energy until you fall into their toxic trap. And by the time they show their true face, you’ll be already deeply in love and tend to overlook and justify their bad behaviors.
3. He makes everything about himself.
No matter if you’re talking about politics, your careers, or something related to the relationship, or you name it, he always finds a way to shift the focus towards him. He wants to be the main topic of discussion because in this way it’s easier for him to make you admire and flatter him. These people simply can’t help it – they enjoy being the center of attention.
So, don’t be surprised when you feel like you can never talk to him about your problems or let alone, complain about his behavior. What you have to say is simply boring and irrelevant to him.
4. He’s constantly sending you mixed signals.
He makes grandiose promises and plans for your future together, but he forgets about them as soon as he utters them. He treats you like a queen one day and he behaves towards you like you’re just one more responsibility he has to fulfill the next.
By constantly blowing hot and cold, he puts you on an emotional rollercoaster and you find it hard to determine where you stand in his life. Feeling this way can be quite draining and painful, and undoubtedly, you won’t be able to take it for much longer.
5. He never apologizes.
Dating a narcissist means that you’ll never hear the words “I’m sorry” come out of their mouth. And this is totally expected because narcissists are sure they’re never wrong.
In their view, they always say and do the right thing. They also know what’s best for you and expect you to agree with them about everything.
Whether it’s something trivial, like showing up late on a date, or more serious, like lying to you (and even cheating), your guy never owns up to his mistakes and wrongdoings. So, don’t bother waiting for him to apologize to you.
6. You can’t rely on him.
When you’re going through a tough period, he’s rarely by your side. When you’re struggling with problems and need someone to help and support you, or just listen to you and offer you a comforting hug, he’s never there for you. Why?
Well, the reason is pretty simple: He always has something better and more interesting to occupy himself with – himself.
So, if you know you can never count on your guy’s support or you even hesitate to ask for his help, it means it’s time for you to question the relationship and think very carefully if it even exists.
7. He lacks empathy.
He has no interest in any feelings or thoughts that are not directly related to him. So, whether you’re feeling anxious, disappointed, or sad, or crying, or telling him an emotional story about something personal that happened to you, you can be sure – he won’t feel it.
Empathy and compassion are just abstract terms to him. And even when he behaves like he’s interested in your problems and concerned about you, it’s all fake, and chances are he’ll soon get bored and walk away, leaving you to deal with your pain alone.
8. He can’t stand criticism.
What the hell you’d criticize a perfect person for? These entitled human beings can’t stand being criticized. All they want is to be admired and praised. They can’t even stand positive criticism, like when you say something to help them be better.
When you try to criticize your partner, he either starts to criticize you as well by throwing all kinds of hurtful words at you or bring up a set of whole different problems that the two of you have left unresolved or even forgotten about. He does whatever he can to get even with you. This is a “sure” sign he truly loves you, isn’t it?
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.