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According To Science: The Healthiest Relationships Come Down To These 3 Basic Traits


Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and self-help author, reveals 3 basic qualities which all healthy relationships have that make love last. 

When it comes to matters of love, we find ourselves doing everything to keep it and make it last. This is probably because the majority of people today are not the same and do not have the same values as they had in the past.

With the mass media exposure, people realized that the world is full of choices. Therefore, some do not bother to fight for a relationship and make it last with a particular person because they feel that if it does not work out, it was not meant to be – and they will find another one quickly.

Now, more than ever, relationships break down in a heartbeat. People are more prone than ever to lie, cheat, and lose interest very quickly.

So, the question arises: What can we do to make love last? According to science, 3 essential traits make a loving relationship last.

In a brilliant TED talk, Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and self-help author, said that when we are in love, the dopamine center in our brain is activated, and we need to keep the dopamine levels high if we want the love to last.

She performed MRI brain scans to couples in love, and she found that the levels of dopamine in their brain were almost the same as if they were on drugs. This is the reason why we feel ecstatic, energized, giddy, and euphoric when we are in love.

However, Fisher also discovered that the dopamine levels become even higher when the person we love leaves us and decides to break up with us.

Her research results of the brain scans showed an enhanced activity in the participants’ brain when they were thinking about their loved one. And this activity is even stronger when we feel that our partner rejects us.

Luckily, Fisher also discovered that it is possible to keep the dopamine levels high because even the sole thought of the person we love and the memories we have together raise those levels in the brain.

Finally, there are 3 qualities that people in healthy relationships have that can help you keep the dopamine levels high in your partner’s brain and make your love last forever.

1. The ability to show and feel empathy toward each other;

2. The ability to be in control of your emotions during stressful situations;

3. Your ability to overlook certain flaws in the other person, and focus only on seeing the good in them.

All in all, the most important thing that we can do is learn how to handle ourselves and our emotions. Whether our partner did something wrong, it is important to remember the good things that he has done before, and not focus only on the present mistake.

So, next time when you find yourself fighting with your partner over unwashed dishes, work, money, and so on, try to attach positive allusions to them. For instance, rather than scolding your partner for not washing the dishes, you can be thankful that you are blessed to have a home and dishes to wash.

Relationships are not easy. They require work and effort from both partners. If only one person is putting the effort – they will soon fall apart.

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