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An Open Letter To All The Women Who Fall For Potential, Instead Of The Real Image


You meet someone you like, and you immediately fall in love with this person. That honeymoon haze turns your world upside down, it takes you to 7th heaven, it convinces you that they’re everything you’ve ever dreamed of and finally, it makes you blind to everything else around you.

You are so lost in your dream of passionate, wild and endless love that you fail to perceive the real image of this person. After a certain period of time, you notice some things you personally dislike. Yet, you keep going, hoping that if he could only change that part of him he would be the perfect man for you.

We’ve all been here.

But, tell me, why do we keep making the same mistakes over and over again?

I know that you think you can make him better by inspiring him to change. I know that you think that you can fix him and create a version of him that you’d love forever.

But, love doesn’t work that way. And you know that.

Yet, you let yourself fall in love with the idea of him, not the real image. You decided that you’re going to avoid the flaws and the imperfections because it seemed much easier for you to dream of him being this ideal, perfect man.

Don’t you realize that you’re hurting yourself?

Can’t you see that there’s nothing you can do to change him?

It’s probably hard to understand this now because you’re too lost in your dreams about him, but you have to realize, he is not the one for you. You have to stop doing this to yourself. You have to stop convincing yourself that you have the power to make him something he’s not.

He doesn’t deserve you. He mistreats you. He takes you for granted. He doesn’t give a damn about showing affection. He doesn’t care about you the way you care about him. But, at the end of the day, that’s just the way he is and probably will be for the rest of his life.

You cannot waste your life hoping that this will eventually change. You cannot live inside your bubble of oblivion hoping that one day he’ll love you the way you deserve. You just can’t keep falling in love with your idea of what he should be. You cannot spend your life teaching him how to love and respect other people. That’s something he needs to learn on his own.

If you are not sure about him right now, what makes you think that you’ll change your opinion 10 years from now?

You cannot allow yourself to be that ignorant. This is about your wellbeing and your life. You cannot throw that away for someone who clearly isn’t ready to be with you. You simply cannot fix someone or mold him into a person you’d fall in love with.

I know that you’re desperate for love. I know that your heart has so much love to give to this world. But you have to stop giving yourself to people who are not worth it. You have to stop waiting for that day when he’ll finally become aware of how amazing you are. You have to stop hoping for something that clearly won’t happen. You owe all of this to yourself.

Understand that it’s not your job to fix this person. It is not your job to change them and mold them into an ideal, flawless, perfect human being. If he truly wants to change he will do it on his own.

So, you make sure to take care of yourself. Let go of everything and everyone that hurts you. Stay exactly who you are. The right people will recognize you and realize that you deserve the whole world.