An Open Letter To The ‘Best Friend’ Who Cut Me Out Like I Never Existed

Dear ‘Best Friend’,

You were my soulmate. You were the one who tried to make me see the good in myself even at times when I couldn’t see it myself. You were the one who was always there when I was sad and needed someone to talk to. You were my everything and I believed you felt the same way about me.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t true. When I look back over the time we spent together, I realize that you never appreciated what we had. There was a strong connection between us. We could hear each other’s unsaid thoughts. I could only look into your eyes and tell whether you were happy or sad. But, apparently, that didn’t matter to you as much as it mattered to me.

We went through a lot together but that wasn’t enough for you to keep me in your life. It pains a lot when I think about how easy it was for you to cut me out like I never existed.

Sometimes, I want to scream as much as I can and tell you that I miss you, but a part of me knows that you probably don’t care.

You broke my heart.

Still, it’s difficult not to think about the past. It’s hard not to think about you. Growing apart from you is one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through. Losing you was like losing a part of myself. It broke a part of me that I never expected to fall apart. I never believed that such a thing could happen to us. I never knew that it was so easy to cut someone out of your life.

At first, I found it very difficult to forgive you. The way you distanced yourself from me scarred me deeply. I spent a lot of time wondering what went wrong. What I did wrong to deserve your cruel treatment.

But, no. Don’t think I never thought that maybe it was my fault. I racked my brain day and night trying to remember how I treated you and whether I did something that could hurt your feelings. But, guess what? I know I never let you down. I never did to you what you did to me. And you know that too.

You can blame me forever if you want, but you know the answer deep down in your soul. You know whose fault it was because someone you mean the world to can neither be able nor have the heart to cut you out of their life without showing any consideration and remorse. Sounds familiar, right?

You know what’s funny? It’s normal for close friends to have disagreements and even argue because at the end of the day we don’t share the same opinions and interests. And this is a common reason for which many close friends grow apart. But, the reason you cut me out was not that we didn’t like the same things in life, but because you let yourself be manipulated by your “soulmate” – your partner. Well, if that person was your true soulmate, they would have never controlled your life and limited your freedom. They would have let you choose your friends.

Now, we’re like two strangers.  You chose your path and I chose mine. Time is gradually healing my wounds.  I’d lie if I say that I don’t miss you. We had many moments of joy, fun, and laughter and that I’ll never forget.

And if you’re wondering whether I’m still mad at you, know that I’m not. I have already forgiven you. I’ve forgiven you not because it doesn’t hurt me any longer or I’ve forgotten how easily you cut me out of your life, but because I came to terms with what you did to me. What happened has made me stronger and taught me that I should be more careful about who I let into my life. It’s also taught me to analyze people and distinguish between real and fake friends.

Now, I know that real friends are those who stay forever.

I hope that one day you’ll read this letter because I want to tell you this:

Thank you for being there for me when nobody else was. Thank you for accepting me for who I was and for never trying to change me. Thank you for all the conversations and wonderful memories.

You left me confused and heartbroken, but know that I don’t hold a grudge against you any longer.

Now, it’s time for making new friends. It’s time to move on.

I wish you the best,

Someone you cut out of your life and forgot about.

Image: Michael Färber