Do opposites really attract or are we happier with someone just like us?
There are many different studies, many theories written on this subject which correctly and logically explain how couples attract each other.
One part of these theories says that according to the law of magnetism, opposites attract best. The other side says that it is more likely to fall in love with someone who is just like us.
But, which one is true?
Actually they are all true. When one deeply explores all these theories, can see that they all have one mutual thing – the level of person’s consciousness!
Let me elaborate this better – all theories about human attraction are true, but they all are nothing but a side of the story, the side which is looked upon from the view and the level of intelligence of the author of that particular theory.
And when we put these theories together, they show us the exact process of attraction between humans and it’s developing phases on different levels of consciousness and spiritual and physical evolution.
We are attracted to our partner because he/she is the total opposite from us at one level, but we are also attracted to someone who is most complementary to us at other.
You see, in this whole questioning of who would be our best partner, has nothing to do with the person we choose to be our partner, but it is about who are we and what we feel at that particular time when we seek for him/her! This might look to you a bit off, but try to understand.
When we start choosing our partner we enter unknown territory. We don’t know who he/she exactly is and we start to make mental notes how we would like him/her to look like, to be like.
And in all these romantic fantasies of ours there is one thing in common – us! We are the one constant in all our relationships! It doesn’t matter if you admit it to yourself or not, we all know who we are, what are we capable of, our good sides and our bad sides. And now, having our own characteristics as a starting point we start looking for the missing piece.
Since we are very unique beings, there is actually no common theoretical system that can explain how we should seek for our other half. Humans are neither theoretical nor logical, but deep down we are very emotional and loving creatures that search for one true love.
Jung has very correctly explained that “love at first sight” is merely a projection of ourselves, of our Soul yearnings, our characteristics and the outer looks. People are attracted by the thing in the others they recognize as the un-conscious or hidden part of themselves.
So very unconsciously (or consciously for someone) we tend to look for our masculine animus or feminine anima in others. But when one individuates (has his own identity) and learns to engage with his own anima, only then he/she can choose wisely and start forming fulfilling relationships.
So the inability to become the individuals we want to be, is the primary reason why we sometimes find ourselves trapped in a romantic holocaust. This is so because when we are not individualized, we look for someone that has all the characteristics we miss, but these relationships last until we become our own Self, because we like these characteristics to be ours, not theirs.
So when we are weak, we try to find someone who would protect us, if we are introvert, we seek an extrovert, but this is all done just because we want to be them, not with them, they are perfect image of us if we were to be strong enough.
And as soon as we evolve to a level of consciousness where we are fulfilled and live our life just the way we want, we stop looking for substitutes, but we look for a soul mate, one who is just like us!
So you see now that the thin thread between all these different theories of human attraction is our state of consciousness. If the person is nowhere in his life, he is stuck in a magical circle and the consequence of this ignorance is that he searches for the person that he wishes to be.
Only when you find your Self you can start to look for the other half which complements you, but with the opposite polarity, not the opposite characteristics!
Remember – a happy and fulfilling relationship have the ones who know who they are and find that someone with the same level of spiritual and intellectual evolution, in the opposite polarity, but with the same energy strength. So, choose wisely!
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.