The funny thing about us humans and our interpersonal relationships is the fact that we often tend to overlook people’s actions because we simply care too much for them.
Cupid’s arrow strikes us, we fall madly in love with someone, and we suddenly find it hard to perceive the truth about them, so we make excuses for their actions.
Whatever they do, however they behave, we constantly look for different ways to justify their shitty behavior. Because, deep inside, we care too much.
“Oh, they’re just too tired”; “It’s not that they don’t care, they just don’t have time from all that work” and the good, old-fashioned “I swear to you, this time is different”.
I swear to you, If I had a penny every single time I heard this story from someone, I’d be rich by now. A billionaire, to be exact.
People are constantly getting involved in toxic relationships. It’s sad to hear about this, but that is the truth. I keep hearing about people who decide to stay together, despite the hell they’re experiencing while being in a harmful relationship.
I keep hearing about women who are hopeful that they could actually change something in their partners who clearly don’t give a damn about anything at all.
And, it’s the same thing with you and him. From the very first moment you met him, you knew that this guy would never give you what you wanted.
Admit it, you immediately sensed what kind of a guy he was. Yet, you decided that you’re going to ignore your gut feeling and give into that burning sensation inside your chest.
You wanted him. You wanted all of him. You craved love. That passionate, mad, all-consuming kind of love. The one that turns your world upside down and changes you to the very core.
And so, you fell hard for him. You surrendered to him completely. Body and fu*cking soul.
You were there for him. You sacrificed yourself for you. You went out of your way to make him happy. You put up with everything you disliked about him. You made it clear that you are about to commit to this relationship.
Yet, he never reciprocated. He never even made an effort to show you what he felt about you. He only defended himself with his foolish excuses that he’s been hurt and too emotionally damaged to open up so soon.
But, you knew about all of this. And you took no precautions whatsoever. Deep inside of you, you expected this, and you let it happen. You feared that your doubts will come true, and finally they did.
So, tell me, why did you do that to yourself?
More importantly, why are you still doing this to yourself?
I really hate to be the one to break it to you, but this man will never love you the way you deserve to be loved. This man is toxic. Incapable of expressing his emotions. He is emotionally handicapped. No, not, emotionally damaged. He’s emotionally dead.
Don’t buy into his bullshit. Don’t let his words trick you. He’s not broken, and he’s certainly not traumatized by a previous experience. He’s just an immature jerk who’s too self-absorbed to care about anyone besides himself.
I know that this is all too painful for you to comprehend, but you have to realize that this man doesn’t love you. He never did. He might have shown some interest for you, but that was at the beginning. And believe me, it wasn’t real.
I’m very familiar with this type of behavior. So, I really don’t want you to think that he’s just a fragile, broken man, whose heart is too damaged to love. I don’t want you to fall for that old trick. He’s not the vulnerable boy he’s presenting himself to be.
This person is only using you. He is taking advantage of your kindness and he will continue doing that until you speak up and take the matter into your own hands.
Stop justifying his behavior. It’s time for you to open your eyes and accept the ugly truth.
A professional writer with many years of experience in the fields of psychology, human relationships, science, and spirituality.