Narcissists like it when they’re in the center of attention. Everything must be about them in a relationship. Sometimes this can be frustrating and difficult. That can’t last forever, and the day will come when you’ll decide to end it. But this means you will start your life all over again. You will feel a positive energy, and you will be able to spend some time with yourself. Way to go!
After the breakup, you will need some period to adjust. No matter how hard and unpleasant your relationship has been, you need to get used to being alone. These times can seem very exciting but also very challenging for you. You will need to learn how to control your emotions with no one to rely on.
The breakup will be hard just like any breakup, maybe even harder. One day you might seem fine and happy about getting your life back and the next day you might feel depressed for losing the person you loved so much. It is this ups and downs that make this relationship break up so hard.
Why is it so hard to break-up with a narcissist? The main reason why the hardest thing a person will do is break-up with a narcissist is that the narcissist is a master manipulator and is excellent at playing break-up games with their victims. (1)
Let’s look more into the narcissist’s games and strategies.
What Are The Narcissist’s Break-Up Games?
Narcissist’s break-up games are different manipulation tactics and mind games that the narcissist uses to control their victim during the break-up in order to hurt them and get what they want out of them. In other words, the narcissist plays these games to have the last laugh and get back at their partner for leaving them.
The Most Common Break-Up Games Played By A Narcissist
1. The Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is the main narcissist’s break-up game. Namely, after a break-up, the narcissist will go silent on their partner as a means of punishing them for leaving them or because they are mad at them for something. Also, sometimes a narcissist uses the silent treatment as a manipulation technique to bring back their ex-partner. (2)
This is a game where the narcissist introduces a third person in the connection to make their partner feel jealous and inadequate. They do this because they want to ‘show’ their (ex) partner that their relationship didn’t mean anything and that they have moved on to someone ‘better.’
Gaslighting is the most devious manipulation tactic used by narcissists and psychopaths. It makes their victims wonder about the things they said or did. It makes them question their own perception of reality and their own sanity. Then the narcissist will make them believe that the things they have heard or saw are not true. So, the victim is left paralyzed, not even believing in themselves and their own eyes. (3)
4. Grand Gesture
This is another break-up game by a narcissist when the narcissist will make a big romantic gesture in order to win back their partner after the break-up. This could be anything from buying flowers and showing at their partner’s doorstep to offering expensive jewelry and a romantic trip.
Narcissists use hoovering techniques to manipulate their (ex) partner to give them what they want (love, money, sex, etc.). The hoovering designs are manipulation tactics when the narcissist pretends that things are going well between them when in reality, that is not the case.
6. Love Bombing
Love bombing usually happens at the beginning of the relationship. The narcissist then acts like they are the perfect lover, caring, nice, kind, and loving… they pretend to be everything their partner wants and needs. Sadly, the narcissist starts withdrawing their love and affection when they are sure the victim is hooked on them. Then the narcissist will begin criticizing and devaluing their victim in order to keep them bound to the narcissist.
Ghosting is when the narcissist completely disappears from their partner’s life without any explanation. The narcissist decides not to speak with them, and they don’t take their partner’s calls. The narcissist typically does this to punish their partner for doing something they shouldn’t have done or because they have found another victim.
Narcissists always take revenge on their partners who have decided to break with them by hurting them in some way.
The narcissist spends time with their ex-partner to lure them in, and then, when they start believing they are back together, the narcissist acts as if they are not interested in reconciling with them. The narcissist will give their partner just enough attention to keep them bound to them, but never enough to make them happy or satisfied, and that’s the ultimate torture.
10. Bad Mouthing
Narcissists bad-mouth their partners to make them look like they are the crazy ones in front of other people. They present them to be bad and evil in order for them to be the good ones. The narcissist will even say that they were not interested in them in the first place (even though they are) so that they can have more power over their victim and save their face if their victim decides to speak up and tell how controlling and abusive the narcissist is.
Narcissists are great at presenting themselves as victims, even though that is not the case. They are actually the villains. However, they constantly accuse and blame their partners for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. They may even blame their partners for things that happened to them in the past. (4)
Why Do Narcissists Play Break-Up Games?
Narcissists play break-up games to get back at you for leaving them.
Or to get back at something you did that has hurt their ego. Moreover, the narcissist may have been hurt by someone else in the past, and so they try to get revenge on everyone. They will offend you, insult you, verbally attack you, and psychologically mess with your mind to deliberately hurt you.
Narcissists play break-up games to have more power over you.
The narcissist wants to be in control of the relationship. They hate it when their partner behaves as if they are equal and therefore, they start playing games to regain power and control over their partner.
Narcissists play break-up games to get you to talk.
If you decide to cut ties with the narcissist and stop all contact with them, the narcissist will oftentimes try to get your attention by playing games and manipulating you into responding to them. Please don’t do it!
Narcissists play break-up games to stop you from moving on with your life.
The main reason why narcissists play games with you is to stop you from meeting someone else and moving on with your life. They may even start stalking you, hacking your phone, and driving by your home at night to see if you have someone else.
How Narcissists Destroy Empaths
Empaths feel the emotions of other people as their own. Their intuition is always on point, and they can tell when someone is in pain or having a bad day. So, they will do everything to make them feel better because empaths are natural healers. Their energy is highly healing and comforting.
However, when empaths meet someone who doesn’t have pure intentions for them, someone who is a narcissist, they can get heartbroken, even destroyed by them.
Of course, narcissists choose empaths and are drawn to them because of their selfless, sensitive nature. Empaths are givers; narcissists are takers. So, they attract. However, that’s where the abuse starts. And the saddest thing is that the empaths don’t even see they are being abused until the end. They don’t see the red flags in front of them because it is not in their nature to be deceptive and malicious. So, they can’t believe that someone can do the things a narcissist is doing.
How The Empaths Get Destroyed By Narcissists:
1. Narcissists make empaths codependent.
A narcissist will find any way to make the empath dependent on them. This toxic bond serves the narcissist because it gives them the ultimate power in the relationship, and it assures them that the empath will never leave them.
And because the empath is scared that the narcissist will leave them, they will listen to the narcissist and start doing what they want. The empath will get to a point when they are not able to make a single decision without the narcissist. Their sole focus will be on the narcissist.
2. The narcissist makes the empath lose contact with their loved ones.
The narcissist is aware that the people closest to the empath are the ones who will reveal the narcissist’s true face to them and advice them to leave the narcissist. Therefore, the narcissist will make sure that the empath is separated from their loved ones. The narcissist may even tell the empath that their friends and family are against them and they want to separate them.
And once the narcissist succeeds in separating the empath from their closest friends and family, they can rest assured that no one will meddle in their plans. The narcissist will then get satisfied knowing that no one will tell the empath to walk away from them, so the empath is vulnerable at their mercy.
3. The narcissist gaslights the empath.
The narcissist will make the empath feel as if they imagine things that the abuse is not happening. They may even call the empath crazy for revealing their feelings to the narcissist. They may call them over-sensitive and needy. All this is done to ‘teach’ the empath to stay in their place and not argue with the narcissist.
Ultimately, the empath always feels like they are under attack and they need to walk on eggshells not to upset the narcissist. They may even start feeling like they are losing their mind and sanity, that what the narcissist does to them is not really happening, and they imagine it. This method is the most commonly used by psychopaths and serial killers.
4. The narcissist lowers the empath’s self-esteem.
The narcissist lowers (even destroys) empath’s self-esteem by constantly attacking them and accusing them of not being good enough for them. The narcissist criticizes the empath and verbally assaults them, and when the empath reacts to their attacks, the narcissist says that they are overly sensitive and that they said those terrible things for their own good.
That’s how the narcissist destroys the empath’s self-worth so that they can easily manipulate them and abuse them. An empath who believes they don’t deserve anything good is a perfect person for the narcissist, and the narcissist won’t stop until they suck them dry and get what they want out of them.
5. The narcissist stalks the empath on social media.
It is a well-known truth that narcissists want to be in control in any situation, any time. Therefore, they will stalk empath’s every move. They will go through their phone, analyze their posts, or even physically stalk them.
Then, the narcissist will tell them that if they want to be with them, they need to tell them their passwords, and they need to cut off all contact with other people. At first, the empath will think the narcissist is joking, but soon they will see that the narcissist is deadly serious, and they will obey because they don’t want the narcissist to leave them.
6. Finally, if the empath does decide to leave the narcissist, the trauma will follow them.
Of course, it always depends on how long the empath stays with the narcissist. Unfortunately, some remain forever in the toxic cycle with them. But, if you are one of the lucky ones to see the narcissist for who they are and you managed to leave them, then be prepared to go through a healing process from all the trauma you have gone through.
Because the relationship with the narcissist has taught you to accept things that are not good and humane, you will doubt everyone that comes into your life. You will need time and support from your loved ones, but with patience and love, you will heal.
It can be very helpful to analyze the things you are likely to encounter after this breakup:
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging. You will spend a lot of time trying to understand the behavior of your partner. This practice of analyzing your partner will stay with you long after you end the relationship. It’s up to you to force this habit out of your mind.
What can be helpful?
Whenever you find yourself thinking about the bad characteristics of your ex-partner, just remind yourself that you are no longer together and he or she doesn’t impact your life anymore. Just try to force yourself to think of something else.
In your ex-relationship, you have been used to finding excuses for the behavior of your partner. That is normal, it’s what we do in order to stay with the person we love. We try to convince ourselves that nothing’s wrong. After the split, you will find yourself missing your partner no matter what happened between you two. It is quite common that you will start finding excuses and trying to find reasons for coming back together.
Just remember that it is normal to miss someone that you have spent so much time with. It is very important not to call or text your ex-partner. You need to stay strong.
3. Feeling anxious
Anxiety is quite common in a relationship with a narcissist. They tend to put you on the edge and keep you there for the rest of the relationship. After you split, you will probably feel additional stress from the breakup. This is quite normal. In order to get through this period faster, you can try meditation, exercising, or yoga.
4. Feeling lost
Narcissist want to have the power when they are in a relationship. They want total emotional control over their partner. No matter how hard you try you can never make things right. Normally, after you split, there is no one to do this to you. You have been so used to it that now you feel something is missing. You might even feel bored. Don’t worry, you will find plenty of exciting activities to do in your free time.
After you split up, it will become obvious to you how unhealthy your relationship was. That can make you feel embarrassed. You might think of yourself as naïve and foolish for letting someone do this to you. No need to do this to yourself. Just remember that narcissist are very good in manipulating people, it could happen to anyone no matter how smart you are.
Narcissist are experts in bringing down your self-confidence. That makes you think less about yourself.
You might even have impaired judgment. Narcissists use this tactic to make their partner question their reality. Give yourself a break and don’t feel bad about who you are.
7. Sexual frustration
No matter how bad your relationship was, you will still miss your partner sexually. This is due to the ability of narcissists to make the person affectionate to them. They use this method to make you want them. This might continue long after the break up. It’s up to you to stop it.
Manipulative people have the need to draw energy from someone. That is why they manipulate others. Therefore, your ex-partner will replace you with someone else soon after the breakup. They need that supply of energy. They see people as an opportunity, and they don’t have real emotions. Remember that next time you feel jealous of your ex. Just remember how bad and broken person they were.
Don’t feel regret for the lost time together with your ex. The important thing is that you managed to escape from that unhealthy relationship. Just look forward and never look back. You can’t change the past, but only you create your own future.
Reading this article might have helped you get rid of the bad feelings you have after ending a long-term relationship. But still, some of them will stay. The best cure for this is time. Time heals all wounds. Just be grateful for ending that unhealthy relationship and look forward for meeting new people who deserve you.
Mary Wright is a professional writer with more than 10 years of incessant practice. Her topics of interest gravitate around the fields of the human mind and the interpersonal relationships of people.If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as possible https://curiousmindmagazine.com/contact-us/ .