Living with a narcissistic parent might seem funny at first, but children and parents who live with a person like this wouldn’t agree.
It gets more difficult when you raise your child together with a narcissistic person. There might not be a way out of this situation at first, but actually, there are some things you can practice to get the best out of this situation.
Be honest with your children
Honesty is the most important thing when it comes to raising children. No matter what is the situation, always be honest with them and show them the real side of the situation. They will not benefit of pretending that everything is okay. Instead, it’s better to teach them about the real values from young age.
Teach them about what’s important
Education doesn’t have to be limited to formal schooling. Parents are greatest teachers and it’s up to them to teach children about things such as manipulation and emotional abuse. Children have to know about these issues in order to avoid it in the future.
Be their role model
As a parent, you want your child to have a great role model, right? Why not trying to be that yourself? Children remember the smallest details and perceive a lot from their environment. They become what they see around them. Show them how to be a good person and teach them about empathy and composure.
Avoid practicing anger in front of them
It’s enough for your children to have one angry parent, you don’t have to show this side in front of them, too. Next time you want to yell in front of your child, count to 10 and take a deep breath before you do anything. Self-control is crucial.
Show them you understand them
With a narcissistic parent, your child is already having a lot to deal with. Make sure you are their greatest support. Be careful not to make the other parent look like the enemy here – you don’t want your child to have these thoughts. Just show them you’re there for them whenever they need you.
Be with them
When your children realizes that it’s considered as an object by the narcissistic parent, be with them. You know exactly what is your child going through and you can help them overcome it more easily. Isolation is not the answer here. The child would want to know that they have your support.
Be their safe parent
In hard moments, the child needs to have at least one parent they can count on. For conversation or just as a crying shoulder, they would appreciate it when they find you waiting for them with your hands open.
Their narcissistic parent probably doesn’t show them real love. Children have to feel loved in order to give love. Be the parent who will show them how to feel loved. How would they learn how to care for other people if there is no parent to show them this? You don’t have to follow the steps of the other parent.
Think about yourself, too
In these difficult life situations, it’s important to find time for self-care. You have to relax in order to have the patience and strength to deal with everything that will follow. Be positive and find humor in your life. Do it for your children, too.
Narcissistic parents can be a bad influence for their own children. In most of the cases, they don’t even realize they are doing something damaging to their own children.
You, as a parent, have to recognize this and deal with it for the sake of your children. Narcissistic behavior can influence the way the child perceives relationships and in extreme cases, the narcissistic parent can even use brain-washing for their own benefit. Don’t allow this to happen.
Photo by Inma Ibáñez