Creating And Maintaining Boundaries: How Much Privacy Is Good In A Relationship?

Creating a healthy, safe and loving environment where you and your partner would feel free to be exactly who you requires opening up both emotionally and mentally. The foundation of one loving and thriving relationship is sharing with one another. People say you need to open up your heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable if you really want to feel and love the right way. And they are right.

But, even though relationships are about sharing everything with another person, there is something called privacy that is just as important as vulnerability is in a relationship. In fact, if you ask me, creating and maintaining healthy boundaries in a relationship is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your relationship.

The sad truth is, many people often forget about who they are and what they want as an individual once they get into a relationship with someone. That is exactly when all the difficulties begin. Because being in a relationship does not mean forgetting your identity and your need for personal space.

Yes, sharing with someone who knows your soul and genuinely loves you for who you are is important, but so is making time for yourself in order to experience life’s challenges as a separate person. This helps you reflect on your thoughts, focus on what YOU want out of life and grow at your own pace.

However, the fact that we all need the opportunity for personal growth does not mean that we need the same amount of privacy.

When it comes to that, there is often a huge difference from one person to another. And naturally, sometimes this difference causes problems. People who need more space and time for themselves can feel smothered by a needy partner who wants to know everything about them. On the other hand, the ones who crave closeness and intimacy can feel unwanted by their partners who respect their own privacy and their own separate lives. In these situations, no one is right or wrong. They just have a different set of priorities.

Another problem with creating healthy boundaries is going too far with privacy. Too much of it, and you start growing apart and leading separate lives. But too little of it, and you can easily lose your identity as someone who is a person separate from the relationship.

That is why the key is maintaining balance.

First thing you need to understand is that healthy couples are made of two independent, autonomous human beings who share a true and deep connection.

After you realize this, it will be much easier for you to move onto step two. The balance in your relationship will be only be reached and maintained by keeping the communication lines open. This means feeling free to talk to your partner and let them know how much space you need. It also means not bottling up things that might be too hard for you to share with them.

It’s all about a healthy and honest flow of information. This includes everything that you two face as a couple. Every issue, every difficulty, every challenge that you are going through. All of the cards on the table.

A failure to do this and recognize each other’s needs for privacy may eventually result in a relationship breakdown. So, instead of forcing your partner to accommodate to your needs, focus yourself on how their behavior makes you feel. Then think about how your behavior affects them. If you notice that one of you is having trouble becoming more accepting and flexible, do your best to meet each other halfway.

Talk to each other and find out where the problem lies. Make a promise that you will do whatever it takes to overcome these issues and accept each other’s differences.

Just whatever you do, know that in the end, the only thing that really matters is making a decision that satisfies both of you. The most important thing is to be equally heard, cared for, respected, loved and supported. How you do that is entirely up to you and your partner.