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Dear Woman Who Is Desperately Trying To Fix Her Partner, You Are Not His Therapist


I see that you are trying very hard. I see that you are determined to help this man and support him every step of the way. You are caring, loving, supportive, always there for him.

The kind of woman everyone dreams of. The kind of woman men write novels about.

An angel.

But I also see something that you can’t seem to notice. I see you spending your whole damn time figuring out and solving his own issues. I see you going crazy because he can’t seem to handle his challenges. I see you losing your patience because you don’t feel that you are getting the same amount of attention and affection from.

Seeing you like that and feeling the pain inside of you gives me the urge to say this to you.

You are not his therapist, nor you ever need to be.

I am not saying that communicating with your partner and being there for them is bad. I am just saying that there is a fine line between being a caring partner and turning into a 24/7 problem solver. Some men don’t bother to make a difference between these two categories. As a result, they love pushing their partners into the second one.

Don’t let that happen. Don’t be their personal therapist.

You don’t need an immature person next to you who doesn’t know what to do when life throws them off balance. You don’t someone’s cloud weighing you every single day.

Everyone around you is fighting a certain battle that you know nothing about. And they are doing it on their own. Because they are grown people who even though they’ve faced a lot of difficulties in life, they decided to never give up. Because if they don’t take care of themselves, no one will.

Think about yourself. Who will take care of you and pick you up when you fall?

Don’t sacrifice yourself and your mental health for someone else.

Love is supposed to represent mutual care and love for each other.  Otherwise, it is not love. Otherwise, you are just their therapist and they are the forever victim.

So, don’t get me wrong.

Be there for your partner. Support them. Love them unconditionally. Show them that you care. But make sure that the love and attention you are giving them is reciprocated. You cannot keep sacrificing your mental health and happiness for them if they are not interested to do the same for you.

It is not your job to fix your partner. Stop acting like it and focus on your wellbeing instead.