Love is not always sugar and sweets. Roses and fairytales. Many relationships go through heaven and hell. Mostly because of different personalities. Here’s where arguing begins.
However, having a different perspective in a relationship is healthy. Having another side who thinks and acts in a different way from yours gives you a crystal clear view of what’s good and bad.
Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist suggests few things that are of a great importance to be taken into consideration when arguing:
-Think before you speak;
-Don’t go from one topic to another;
-Bear in mind that you can’t be always right.
DOES ARGUING MEAN LOVE?
Can you express yourself freely? Are you afraid to share your authentic self with the person next to you?
Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, an expert in ADHD, anxiety disorders, autism spectrum disorder, and chronic pain says that arguing is one of the key ingredients for a healthy relationship.
She explains: “I’ve never seen a healthy couple that doesn’t argue. They never fight, however – they argue. If a couple comes into my office and tells me they’ve never argued, something isn’t quite right.
You can argue without fighting. Arguing is non-combative – you and your partner state your points of view without name-calling or raising your voice. Sometimes you agree to disagree – and that’s okay. Figure out what your ‘non-negotiables’ are – the things that you will not budge on. Now rethink that list. I like the saying, ‘You can either be right, or married.”
Relationships in which partners do not argue are full of tension. Because nobody speaks their true emotions. Their emotions boil to the degree of exploding but people feel scared to not hurt each other.
Every relationship faces challenges.
People have disagreements. They want to be heard about their needs. They seek understanding.
Therefore, they need to have trust and be open about what they think and feel, respecting all the difference. Being quiet about inner storms brings frustration nobody will know about.
Healthy arguing means being open about yourself and caring about others.
You can argue without being angry.
When you fight, learn to fight fair. Moreover, don’t say things you will regret later.
Learn to not raise your voice while arguing. Also, don’t underestimate the power of a simple “sorry”.
Healthy arguing means having respect for your partner even though your opinions differ.
Arguing means passion.
Couples who argue a lot are very passionate. When arguing, tensions become high, blood pressure rises, arguments become intense and heated.
All this leads some couples to enjoy sex after arguing.
Yes, healthy arguing means passion.
Arguing is the secret of a successful relationship. Arguing means connection and love. You can always get a win-win situation because it can be transformed into learning. All you need to do is to master that art.
Listen, be heard, communicate, compromise, have trust, behave with respect. Love your partner, love yourself. Grow your love.