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Don’t Tell Women They Are Lucky To Have Good Husbands


When we see a man taking his kids to school we couldn’t help but think that he must be a good husband. Somehow, we praise this activity and we attribute him as being a good husband and a person judging by an activity that should be considered natural – finally, they are his kids. And yet, I hear women say how they cannot get their husbands to take their kids to school and they envy those women who have ‘great’ husbands that are willing to do that.

There are those moms who will tell you that you are lucky to have a good husband. A husband who loves to be with his kids and enjoys doing interesting activities with them that do not include the mom. A husband that is supportive of his wife’s career and takes days off from work to take care of their children when she has a meeting or has to travel from work.

Basically, a woman can be told that she is lucky for having a husband that is willing to do exactly what a husband or a wife is supposed to do for their partner in a marriage.

And yet, why no one tells a man that he is lucky to have a woman who is a good mother when they see her doing exactly the same things?

Don’t tell a woman that she is lucky to have a good husband. That she had luck on her side to pick a good husband like she won a ‘husband lottery.’ No. She worked hard for the relationship and her marriage.

And, any woman who has a great marriage and a great husband will tell you that it wasn’t that she was lucky, but she really put a great effort into the relationship.

However, it all comes down to who you choose to be your husband in the first place. Are you willing to stay single until you find the right man for you? And, when you do find him, the trick is to work out the issues that you both might have together.

The truth is, no man is a perfect dad and husband from the beginning. Nor are you. We are all works in progress. You need to learn and grow together. You need to be willing to accept yours and your partner’s mistakes and shortcomings and find ways to correct them. Being supportive of each other is essential.

So, maybe the correct comment should be that a woman should be thankful to have a good man in her life instead of considering her lucky to have him.

Because no one tells a man that he is lucky to have a woman that is a good wife and mother. It is assumed that a woman’s role is to be all that. And men, on the other hand, can decide in which activities they will be involved, as if fatherhood is a disposable activity that a man chooses to do when he is not at work, or when he is not busy doing something else.  

Stop praising men who are doing things that are normal in a marriage. Don’t say a man who is doing the bare minimum is doing the best he can, and the woman is lucky if she gets any help at all.

A man is a good man and a good husband because he wants to be and because he values his wife’s needs and requirements. Raising children is not a women’s job only. And a woman is not lucky to have a man who knows that. Parenting is a men’s job too and they don’t need additional praising.

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