Experiencing emotional abuse as a child can lead to serious issues in adulthood. The pain may wane with time, but its effects stay long with the abused person and they can affect his/her personality and the relationships with other people.
Emotional abuse is a serious problem. It can scar the child for life. So, parents, be careful! No child deserves to be abused in any way. No one has the right to shape someone’s life in such an abusive way with horrible consequences.
Below are some things that experience only adults who have been emotionally abused in their childhood. The Mighty had a discussion with its community on this subject and their testimonies were heartbreaking:
If you have been a victim of emotional abuse in the past, you got used to your parents’ constant fighting and shouting. It left you feeling scared then, and it leaves you scared every time you get into a confrontation. This is because, for you, shouting triggers a painful memory from your childhood.
When you’ve spent your whole childhood with abusive parents who were constantly pointing out your mistakes, and were making you feel like nothing you do is enough for them – you can sure feel awkward when someone tells your worth because you are not used to it.
You are not used to someone admiring and supporting you because you’ve spent the majority of your life feeling unsupported and without a shoulder to cry on – and this is one of the worst feelings in the world.
You are driven by your need for perfection because as a kid you were constantly trying to impress your parents. And your parents were not satisfied with anything you did. You were probably overachiever as a kid, and you were constantly proving yourself to others. This need for perfection stays with you and it can be a negative thing for you and those around you.
The lack of belief in yourself is deeply integrated within you from your childhood. During that time you were probably doing everything you can to please your parents and make them proud of you.
However, little did you know that this can lead you to doubt your every move later on. You seek validation in others, and you feel like you are doing the wrong thing every time.
Having always been accused of something in your childhood, you are now always taking the blame for everything that happens. You say “I am sorry” way too often and you apologize for things that are not even your fault.
Emotional abuse has led you to fear any kind of social situation. Places like school, work, or social gatherings scare you because you feel awkward when being around many people. Nothing compares with the safety of your home.
If you have experienced emotional trauma as a kid, it is very possible that you have severe trust issues as an adult. You don’t feel comfortable, or close enough, to someone to reveal your deepest fears and secrets. You think that people are selfish and they will betray you if you give them the chance. So, your solution is to avoid them.
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION Because you have been bottling up your feelings every time, you are now experiencing clinical depression. Your anxiety attacks are also a result from that. You cannot handle stressful situations because as a kid you were taught that it is not okay to become emotional.
In order to not be hurt again, you learned how to hold your walls high enough, not allowing anyone to get close to you. Your negativity and rudeness can be parts of this barrier that you have built to keep you safe from people hurting you.
Your parents were your ‘authority’ as you were growing up. They taught you to always respect and (fear) them. So now, you have become a people pleaser. You are afraid of authorities and you are trying hard to please them because you fear that you will somehow get into trouble.
If you have experienced an emotional abuse, you can definitely relate to this. You are so self-conscious and insecure in your interaction with others that you feel constant need to always explain your every move. You do this because you don’t want them to judge you or misinterpret your actions.
You tend to get overly shy around people. You constantly struggle with having a voice to speak up for yourself. This is because you tend to think that no one is interested in hearing what you have to say.
You are scared of speaking up. You are scared of taking action and standing up for yourself because you have never done that. You have run away from conflicts your entire life. You have become so passive that you let others walk over you and make decisions for you.
You have lived your whole life with everyone telling you what to do and how are you supposed to feel, that you lost your identity in the process. You don’t know who you are deep down, and you don’t know what you want from life either.
When you haven’t learned how to deal with anger when you were young, it is so much harder to deal with it as an adult. This anger inside of you that you were bottling up inside of you for years, can burst out in the most unpleasant way possible.
So, it is essential to learn how to control and deal with your emotions from the young age, so you don’t have problems like this in the future.
Have you ever experienced emotional abuse in your childhood? Do you have any of these things happening to you right now? You must tackle the problem first in order to find a solution.
Then you must accept the problem and if it is one because of emotional abuse, my advice is to seek professional help because there is not much that you can do about it yourself.
Image Copyright: altanaka / 123RF Stock Photo
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from psychology, to all sorts of disciplines such as science and news.