Living with high-functioning anxiety means being dedicated to everything in your life. It means that the perfectionist in you always doubts your accomplishments, so you are prone to get hooked on nervous habits – foot tapping, nail biting, teeth clenching…
If you observe your anxiety closer, you can see it in your nervous laughter. In the unanswered phone calls and text messages. In the panic attacks you get when someone cancels plans – when you experience any change whatsoever.
It feels like…
Your body has been attacked by an animal. Like a punch in the stomach. Like your body can’t distinguish the feeling between being attacked by something and having to answer an email.
It sounds like… YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
You are not a good friend. You are not good at your job. You are only wasting your time. You are clingy. You are needy. You are desperate. Your partner doesn’t love you. You don’t have a purpose in life.
What are you doing with your life? Why you still don’t have your shit together? Your anxiety will mess everything up. You are a flake. You let everyone down. No one likes you.
It’s having all these thoughts and feelings while trying to stay perfectly calm.
It’s looking for…
Something to do to escape from the reality. Running. Writing. Painting. Shopping. Dancing. Pretending you have fun when you are desperate and trying to keep your mind off thoughts that are running wild in your head.
Your high-functioning anxiety hides in your smiles. It is also hidden in your busyness and your avoidance of (important) things.
It’s constantly saying to yourself…
Get your shit together. Everyone has their life figured out but you. Everything is okay with you, you are overly dramatic, and your anxiety is only a product of your imagination. So, suck it up and don’t be such a baby.
It’s you…
Waking up in the middle of the night scared to death because the worst thought that went through your head just seemed too vivid, too real. Even though you know it’s just in your head, it still takes time to calm down and slow down your beating heart.
Staying in bed longer than usual because the uncertainty of the day scares you.
Living with high-functioning anxiety means learning how to effectively deal with it.
It’s learning to ask for help. Learning to confide to a close friend from time to time.
It’s showing up on social gatherings even when it’s the last thing that you want to do.
It’s being brave enough to answer phone calls and text back.
It’s fighting against your impulses and your needs to constantly prove your worth to the world.
It’s learning how to take care of yourself and your emotions.
It’s forgiving yourself for all the damage that you have caused to your body and soul.
So, slow down for a moment, and take a deep breath. Appreciate the present moment and learn how to be happy with how things are in this moment.
You can only find your peace within yourself.
Take care.
Mary Wright is a professional writer with more than 10 years of incessant practice. Her topics of interest gravitate around the fields of the human mind and the interpersonal relationships of people.If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as possible https://curiousmindmagazine.com/contact-us/ .