Getting engaged is exciting. It’s one of those things that you’ve probably waited for your entire life. But it’s not something you want to jump into without preparation. And while there’s no way to fully prepare for being engaged, there are some things you can do upfront to ensure it’s as smooth as possible.
5 Things You Should Know
The intriguing thing about engagement is that it’s an entirely unique shared experience. In other words, anyone who has ever been engaged can relate, on some level, to the experience of engagement. However, at the same time, no two engagements are identical. It’s dependent on the individual circumstances and dynamic between both parties.
With all of that being said, here are several things you should know in advance:
- Know the Difference Between the 3 L’s
When it comes to romantic attraction, there’s like, lust, and love. You might date someone that you like. And you might even enjoy a long relationship with someone you feel lust toward. However, there’s only one type that’s worthy of engagement and marriage: love.
Make sure you know the difference between like, lust, and love. A failure to account for the unique qualities between each can land you in hot water. Don’t rush into engagement. Take your time and make sure you’re truly in love with one another.
- Get on the Same Page
Once you get engaged, it’s imperative that you begin having transparent conversations around the following topics (if you haven’t already):
- Finances – Money is one of the number one stressors in a marriage. It’s also one of the leading causes of divorce. Don’t wait until you’re married to have important financial conversations. Now’s a great time to discuss your financial upbringing, goals, expectations, budget, etc.
- Children – What kind of family do you want? Do you want children? How many? Are you open to adoption or fostering? How do you see their upbringing? What kind of parenting/disciplining style do you want to have? It’s important that you discuss all of these questions (and more).
- Career – What are your career goals? Does your partner have certain career aspirations? What will you do as a couple once there are children in the picture? Are there expectations for work-life balance? Talk through all of these things.
These are just some of the issues you’ll want to talk through during engagement. Sex and intimacy, religion, and boundaries with family and in-laws are other things to consider.
- Buying a Ring Takes Work
You might think that buying a ring is like shopping for a car, but it’s quite different. You don’t visit a jewelry store and pick out the first one that catches your eye and fits your budget. Buying a ring actually takes some work.
For starters, you need to shop with the right jewelers when buying a diamond engagement ring. Different companies specialize in different types of rings (and have unique processes for how they acquire their rings). Do your research and always shop with companies that have transparent supply chains – especially when purchasing a large ring like a five-carat diamond engagement ring.
If your significant other is adamant about the type of ring they want, you may want to shop together. But even if you’d like it to be a surprise, you’ll still want to ask friends and family for ideas.
- Planning a Proposal is All About Details
The proposal is very important. It’s sort of like the first chapter of the rest of your lives together. You want it to be something that you both look back on fondly. While you definitely don’t need to have an extravagant party, it’s great if you can gather some close friends and family to have a celebration afterward.
- Plan Ahead for the Big Day
Start planning for the wedding day sooner rather than later – especially if you plan on having a short engagement of six months or less. The first thing to do is nail down a date. This allows you to move forward with things like venues, wedding planners, and vendors.
Putting it All Together
Marriage is the most serious commitment you’ll make in your entire life. And getting engaged is basically a promise that you’re ready to make that commitment to your significant other. While you can’t know what it’s like to be engaged until you’re actually engaged, there are plenty of things you can do to prepare ahead of time.
Remember the tips from this article and you’ll be one step ahead!
A professional writer with over a decade of incessant writing skills. Her topics of interest and expertise range from health, nutrition and psychology.