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Why Do Couples Start To Look Like Each Other?


I am sure that you all know couples who are so similar to one another that people often confuse them for siblings. They look alike, they finish each other’s sentences, and they even dress the same by wearing the same colors.

Do you think that people are only looking for partners who look like them, or do you think that with time couples start to look alike?

You have probably heard the old saying that “opposites attract”. Well, this is not true according to a research by R. Chris Fraley, a psychologist at the University of Illinois. Contrary, he found out that “like attracts like”, i.e. we tend to choose partners who are more similar to us – from physical appearance to the person’s character and special skills and talents.

In Fraley’s opinion, this tendency that we have to be attracted only to partners that look like us is because we, as people, tend to trust more the face which looks like ours. Also, maybe this is because subconsciously we want our kids to look like us, so we pick a partner who has the similar physical characteristics as ours.

Moreover, according to Robert Zajonic, from the University of Michigan, couples who have been together for approximately 20 years or more start to look more similar to each other because they start mimicking each other’s facial expressions. They have been together for so long that they begin to smile at the same things, frown or cry when something bad happens etc. This mimicking leads to having the same wrinkles and lines on their faces, says Zajonic.

Furthermore, Robert Zajonic says that the happier the couple is, the more they start mirroring each other. This means that the longer they are together, they will start imitating more each other’s habits and characteristics such as the manner of speaking, intonation, musical preference, facial expressions, the manner of walking etc.

It is no wonder that dating coaches advise us to mirror our partner’s movements on the first date because we bond easily when we think that someone is similar to us. This is all done subconsciously.

What do you think of this phenomenon? Do you know such couples who look like each other? Are they happy in their relationships or marriages?