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Here’s Why The Older You Get The Less You Can Stand Others, And Why It’s Okay


I am sure everyone has gotten to a point when they say they hate everyone, and that people are not good anymore. And, the older we get, the more this statement is true for us.

As we get older, we start choosing our friends more carefully. Sometimes, it can even feel like we don’t have friends anymore, but this is because we are perfectly fine having one or two close friends in addition to our family.

As for myself, while I was growing up I had a lot of friends. And I was quite the social butterfly during my high school years, so making new friends was always easy for me.

I had two best friends that I told everything to. We were always together, and we even planned to marry at the same age, and have kids that would be best friends too. I truly believed this. I was sure that they will always be by my side, and that we will always be best friends because I considered them as part of my family.

How wrong was I… By the time I graduated from college and when I got a job my best friends were nowhere to be found. All the close friends that I had, walked away and focused on their lives and their priorities. Friendship, somehow, wasn’t on their list of priorities. And, it hurts to see your friends, who you thought you couldn’t live without, are now a couple of strangers.

You see, that’s the thing about people – they always leave. But this is natural, and it is okay really.

Because, as you mature and get older, you are less willing to put up with any kind of bulls*it.

When we are young, we are worried about what other people think about us. We desperately try to impress everyone and get everyone to like us. We validate ourselves by our circle of friends, and we live by the premise – the more, the merrier. And, we are unskilled to recognize any toxic behavior coming from our friends because we are young and immature.

As we grow older and mature, we don’t care about those things. For me, I stopped caring what others think of me. I live my life the way I want, and I certainly do not tolerate any kind of shitty behavior from anyone.

If someone is not investing in our friendship, I don’t care. I don’t have time for any nonsense, and if this means losing friends – it is okay. I don’t value myself on the account of how much friends I have anymore.  I would rather spend quality time alone, than with uninspiring people who make me feel alone.

Because, the thing is, as you mature, you stop worrying about losing friends and making new friends.

You don’t have time nor energy to go out and make new friends. You don’t want to be involved in that stuff again because you learned the hard way how cruel people can be.

For me, I am satisfied to have my family and one close friend that I can count on for now. And I am okay with that. I don’t feel like I need new friends in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I still go out and hang out with people, but I don’t trust them so easily. I am not naïve and vulnerable like I had been in the past. I don’t open up and share my secrets to them. And I know that I haven’t turned bitter – I love people. I am just aware that some things are not meant to be shared with everybody.

Because, as you get older, you decide to always put yourself first.

When you decide to focus on yourself, on your needs and priorities, and when you start to really love yourself – something wonderful will happen. You will notice that things are finally changing for the better in your life, and your life is almost stress-free.

However, when you start pleasing yourself and stop pleasing others, you will notice that you can lose friends along the way. Because, once you decide that you won’t tolerate anyone who treats you like garbage, people who don’t see a benefit from you will inevitably walk away.

And that would be the best thing that could happen to you.

After all, friends will leave you sooner or later. You will never leave yourself. So, make the relationship with yourself the best one.

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