Home Psychology How do I deal with my narcissistic husband in divorce?

How do I deal with my narcissistic husband in divorce?

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Not every marriage ends happily – unfortunately, life is nothing of a cliche fairy tale or a romantic soap opera. In fact, nowadays, more and more marriages end up in a divorce, and some of them are not an easy and quick process – the former spouses often quarrel about their property, estate, or childcare. These situations can not only be challenging formally, but also emotionally, especially when the partners are not willing to reach a compromise. But is this even possible to end up a marriage in a peaceful way? What if a former husband is not eager to cooperate? If you constantly wonder about different types of divorce and what should you do now – below, you’ll find some tips and guidelines on what to do in this unusual situation.

Take care of the formal issues

Legal issues are always important in terms of legal procedures, as it is extremely easy to overlook something important and lose. Since it may be emotionally challenging, if you don’t feel confident in the field, try to contact a reliable lawyer first. Describe the situation and try to convince your husband to take part in the process – it will make the whole divorce significantly easier if you agree on the divorce suit together. When it’s not possible, you can still ask an attorney to prepare the suit and confirm the date of the trial. Remember to inform your partner about it well in advance – if you are not in touch, do it formally by a letter – otherwise, he may not appear in the court and prolong the whole divorce process.

Try to negotiate

Although quarrelling partners may not want to negotiate, it’s worth trying to talk about the property and estate division. Try to speak calmly but decidedly about your claims. If you have children, it can be especially challenging to reach a compromise but insist on doing so. The best way not to harm the kids is usually to agree on clear conditions. If the child is emotionally close to both parents, and the divorce is relatively calm, you can agree on the division of childcare. On condition that you are sure that the little one will be safe with their father, you may let them stay together for a certain time in a month. Remember to act reasonably and don’t offend the partner in court or personal situations – it’s relatively easy to prove mental problems or instability by, for example, recording text messages or phone calls. It may work against you in terms of taking care of your children.

Ask for support

Family support can be almost life-saving in the unstable circumstances of a divorce. If you need confirmation of your stability, liquidity and honesty, it’s always reasonable to contact family members or friends who will confirm your claims and excellent opinion. You can also ask your employer to appear in the court as your witness and provide any needed certificates concerning your work and earnings. It’s also no shame to ask a psychologist or a therapist for help – they can also prove your mental stability. Although all these issues may seem obvious, they can be raised and questioned during the divorce. It’s advisable to get prepared in advance, then.

Admit your fault

If the divorce is your fault, you can also take care of your laws and try to keep some of the property and estate. Provided that your attorney is a knowledgeable lawyer, you can minimise the loss. Remember, though, that the divorce may be the one with a guilty verdict. If this is the case and you have nothing to question the accusation, you should admit your fault. Although it may be problematic in the future, it’s always best to act straightforward and honest for your own good. Some people are unpredictable, and they may want to take revenge on you soon. However, remaining calm and stating your needs clearly is always a plus, even in an entirely subordinate position. Avoid any unnecessary drama or making problems, then.

Even though a divorce is said to be one of the most stressful and traumatic situations in life, it’s possible to go through it smoothly and with relatively little tension. If you are fully convinced that you both want to end your marriage, just try to communicate your needs and reach a compromise. You still have numerous options to use, such as, for example, asking your close ones for support or get help from your workplace. A vital issue is also to have a reliable and well-educated lawyer. Provided that you have some savings, it’s reasonable to pay for professional support, rather than stick to the free services, which may not be the best quality.