Scrolling down Instagram and Tumblr, top love stories appear in the wounds, scars, betrayal, and separation. If everyone is so clear that love is an illusion or it is just a chemical reaction that binds two people with affection, then why we are so desperate to fall in love? It ends up in heartache and that leads to the mental illness and so on – now the problem is not with love and affection. I was never impressed by the Hollywood love stories, they are a bunch of sugarcoated and misaligned perceptions that can only cause diabetes.
My life has nothing similar to the rom-com of Shakespeare or any other famous love poet in the world. Here is a short story that blends precisely with reality and had been a memorable series of life happenings.
In the beginning years of my business, there were so many things on my mind, but the ease of all the mess was my family. People who were aware of my routine and unusual travel emergencies at the time and still chose to stand by the side. One fine day, I was on my business trip to Canada and while I was still in the GTA airport limo ride, there was a heartbreaking call. Being in the middle of your breakthrough in the business and having the heartbreak news on the phone far away from India wasn’t something good. At that very moment when I picked my phone, the voice on the other side had news about the death of my mother. She was; “one for all”, kind of a woman and any person who could help me get out of the trauma was her, and she was gone forever.
Amid in the misery that knocked at my door and across the road, I had a business opportunity waiting for me. My mind was stuck. I had to decide, either to turn back to the airport or move with the heavy heart and finish work. The most inspiring person who I found standing by the side was my beloved to be a partner. The surprising things about or relationship is that; all these years of friendship and partnership, we never had any shared interests, but the level of understanding is beyond our senses. He came to the rescue and asked me to finish the job and come back when I am done with it. I might have told him that, he was being stupid and I should be in my homeland.
The bottom line of the story is; one person had left me forever, but there was another life standing in front of me calling out with a wide smile. The realization kicked in and I knew if my mother was the one telling me same words, I would never dare to question her intentions. Anyways, it wasn’t the right time to think about all these things or feel that thriving feeling of love.
What is like to be in a Real Love Relationship?
I grew up in a family where I never had to feel less of myself. I was loved, understood and was given every opportunity to fly high in the sky. Still, the fear of being loved by another stranger was a mystery to me. Just after a few months of it, I had a decision to make. Yes, the proposal was in front of me and unlike my decisions in the business, it was frightening. He had everything in his personality that an ideal woman would want in her man. My family was convinced by the idea that this is the only man who is capable enough to be supportive in my ambitions and decisions of life. But it was my life and I was the one who had to be sure of the same thing.
Every strong and independent woman has a right to know what they getting in the name of love or relationship. The love can be real, but at the same time, it might be an illusion.
Women are usually guilty of looking for love at the wrong places and for all the wrong reasons. If you want to test the loyalty and mental capacity of a person, go for it.
· There is no such thing as Magic
Real love is no magic. It is not only about romantic rides and fun. It is the life where reality hits you hard. I had doubts about choosing the right partner, but realizing that he consoled me and supported me at every step was enough evidence to assure his unconditional love for me. He didn’t try to glorify himself or did anything to appear superior neither he denied his own existence in a relationship. He was only there to encourage and ensure that he will catch if I ever had a bad fall in life.
· Do not Fantasize Romance as the Movie
Movies are about romance and happy endings, love is not the same as it is in the movies. It’s different when in reality. You may not have a perfect date and a first perfect kiss. You might not be able to dance or synchronize steps. In reality, you might have doubts, he may not be able to communicate his insecurities in front of you. As a partner, it is your job to ensure the comfort of the relationship. Between all the hardships of life, love is one complicated emotion that might lack perfection, but it can be the most beautiful phase of your life. If you have ever been on dangerous adventures but had the most memorable time of your life, love can be like this.
Therefore, never fantasize them as the movies. All the game of impressing each other is in the beginning, do not stick to that fantasy. Therefore, move on to the other phases of love. Discover new roles of your partner and embrace every occurrence of changes in a relationship.
· Be Realistic in your Relationship
Never expect your partner to be the same as they were at the time of dating. People change, and they evolve for good. If you are not ready to take up the person who is constantly evolving with the time, do not enter into the madness of love. Be realistic with the changes and accept every phase with joy.
Love is one crazy ride. It is not as simple as you have a limo ride. It is like the world’s dangerous roller coaster. Your experience might be different than mine. But the craziness, doubts, and romance will be the main ingredients of your story. Just keep in mind that apart from the romance, you will have to go through the miseries together. If one person falls, another person has to be wise enough to take the high road and act sane at difficult times. This is the kind of equal intimacy that every couple needs in the relationship.