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How To Find Someone To Date Who Shares Your Values In Life?

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Despite an ever-increasing list of dating sites, apps, and social networks, finding someone who perfectly matches and shares your values in life has gotten significantly more difficult in recent years

You could blame the fast paced lifestyle, the lack of patience, or the increasingly shallow dating culture, but for those in search of true love, things have never been this difficult, and it isn’t getting any better.

That being said, however, if you’re looking for a committed long-term relationship with someone who shares the same values as you, there are still plenty of places to find that special someone, provided you continue trying, and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. 

In this article, we provide a brief primer on finding someone to date who shares your values and beliefs about life.

1. Know What You’re Looking For

It is often seen that young romantics have hardly a clue on the values that define them, or the ones they look for in prospective partners. Without this, dating often devolves into a series of trials and errors, with people only realizing that their partner’s missed something, but not knowing what it was exactly.

Whether you value honesty, communication, trust, and respect, or hard work, ambition, driven individuals, being clear about it, helps you realize exactly what to look for in an ideal partner. This is often the first step towards goal oriented dating, and without this, going out on dates is nothing more than casual flings.

2. Be Open Minded

While it’s good to have a clear picture of what you seek in a relationship or a partner, this can be just as counterproductive if you let certain preconceived notions get the better of you. 

Sometimes going through a date without judging, or overanalyzing can help uncover certain values that perfectly align with what you are looking for.

Contrary to popular belief, first impressions are rarely accurate indicators of values, personalities, and overall character. If anything, they are more likely to deceive, with superficial charm and charisma that barely lasts for two more dates.

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3. Use Specialist Dating Sites e.g. Christian Dating Sites

With 1,000s of dating sites and apps, there are quite a few specialist sites focused on specific shared interests or values that have gained popularity in recent years. Also referred to as niche dating sites, they include the likes of SpiritualSingles, aimed at bringing together spiritual couples, regardless of their religious affiliations, and Trek Passions, for fans of the famous science fiction franchise, Star Trek.

Similarly, for those who are looking to find a Christian partner, who perfectly embody Christ-like values, there are innumerable free Christian dating sites to choose from. While there are still a lot more factors to consider before narrowing down to a perfect long-term relationship, such sites do much of the heavy lifting, without having to filter through the masses.

4. Be Yourself 

When it comes to going out on dates, people often make the mistake of putting on a facade with the intent of impressing prospective partners. This is counterproductive for obvious reasons, mostly because facades cannot be maintained for long, and once your true face is revealed, it will almost always lead to wasted time, and a broken heart.

As a result, it is best to be yourself, and only focus on being the best that you can be, instead of trying to be something that you are clearly not. People can pick-up on honesty and authenticity fairly quickly, and any attempts at deception will likely seem forced or cringeworthy, ruining all possibilities of a subsequent date.

5. Patience & Persistence

Even with the 1,000s of dating sites with their sophisticated proprietary algorithms, finding your perfect match at the first try is impossible. To find the partner of your dreams, it often takes patience and persistence, over the course of which you will start to better understand yourself, and your various characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, and desires.

By starting early, and being serious about dating, you will likely never have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for the right suitor. 

So, keep putting yourself out there and stay put until you find the man or woman of your dreams, without giving into dating trends. Anything less than that is essentially settling for less than what you deserve, something you will likely never forgive yourself for throughout your life.

Final Words

No matter how bleak the dating pool might look, there is always someone for everyone, who shares similar values, and perfectly aligns with your broader goals and visions. The key is to move out of the shallow end of the pool, in-pursuit of real long-term relationships that genuinely take you towards the love of your life.

If you’re starting early, have a clear picture of the traits and characteristics you value, and are in it for the long-run, there is really no need to scrape the bottom, or compromise on your standards.