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How To Help Others Without Taking On Their Pain And Hurting Yourself


Do you feel people’s pain and get ready to help them? Are you always there when others need you? If your answer is “yes”, then, you are an empath and you should be proud of that. You’re strong and help people even when you struggle with your own problems.

Certainly, being empathetic is good, but it can hurt your health, especially when your will to help people has no rules or limitations and gets you to the point where you forget about your own needs.

It’s devastating to see people you love suffering; however, you won’t be able to help others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Here is how you can be there for others without harming yourself.

Listen to them without trying to change anything.

You should sit next to them and carefully listen without the intention to respond. Offer support but don’t try to fix their problems. The person who is going through storms will be grateful to know that there is someone who will always be there for them; someone who will offer a crying shoulder and a helping hand without getting obsessed with finding a solution to their problems. Sometimes, all we want is someone to listen and support us, don’t we?

Let go of control and let them find their path.

Sometimes, no matter what you do and how much you want to help, people need to go through their pain alone, so they can learn something and get out of it much stronger. You can help them but should not carry that weight on your shoulders. It’s their pain, their suffering, their life journey, not yours. It doesn’t help anyone but brings more frustrations.

Take your positive energy back.

People who feel what other people feel and suffer when they do are like a sponge that soaks up energy vibes. When you get negative vibes, you feel stressed and exhausted, and lose your own energy. Therefore, you should bring it back. How? By doing things that make you happy: spending time in nature, dancing, napping, cycling, exercising.

Take a great care of yourself.

You should understand that when you’re drained you help no one. You’re not a superhero; you can’t save everyone from their pain and can’t be available 24/7. Therefore, you need to take care of yourself and set clear rules and boundaries. If you want to get rest at night, let people know that you can’t take calls at 10 pm. If you need to turn your phone off, then do it. You should also realize that you can offer people love and support, but you can’t control them.

“You only have control over yourself.” Therefore, take care of yourself first so you can help others and bring joy in their eyes without hurting yourself.