When we broke up, it felt like the entire world crumbled like clay on me. I felt like a huge piece of me was gone … gone with him.
I would lay in bed at night thinking about him and wondering where he was and whether he’d found someone else. And other times, when feelings of guilt would sweep over me, I thought about everything I did wrong.
All the presents he gave me and everything I had from him are here, in a safe place in my room. I never threw anything away. The sweater he gave me still smells like him and I still sleep in the T-shirt he forgot in my apartment one night.
We broke up 4 years ago, but I can still feel his presence.
Over the years, I dated other guys, and we went to the place we called “our place.” But, I didn’t feel the way I felt when I was there with him. Something was always missing.
Even some foods made me think of him since he was the one who made me try them. And when I drank wine, it made me think of him as well because that was his favorite.
Everything reminded me of him, every corner in my apartment, every place in the city.
As time passed, people stopped mentioning his name in conversations. They stopped asking me if I knew where he was or what he was doing. It seemed like they’d completely forgotten about him, but, I never did. He was always on my mind, no matter where I was or what I was doing.
And the hardest part was my birthdays and his. It was painful celebrating my birthdays without him. It was hard laughing and pretending to be happy without hearing his words “Happy birthday, honey.”
Every birthday, I tried to resist the urge to call him just to hear his voice. I tried to resist the need to text him because I feared I’d discover that he hadn’t missed me at all, or even worse, that he’d forgotten about me.
All our photos on social media were deleted. There was no proof that he was mine. That I was his. That we were happy together. That my heart still belongs to him.
People asked me why I kept thinking about him and hurting myself more that way. But once I heard a quote that I’ll always remember: What’s meant to be will always find a way.
I never stopped thinking of him and hoping that we’d be together again because I knew that when two people are destined for each other, they’ll find their way back.
So, I waited. I waited patiently. Wherever I went, I imagined him standing by my side, holding my hand. Because every single part of me was missing him. Longing for him.
My love for him was simply too big to forget about him. To give up on him. To let him go.
Then, one day, my greatest wish came true.
He came back to me. Fate brought him back to me. And when this happened, I was swept over with feelings of happiness, excitement, love, but also, fear and disbelief. I just couldn’t believe that he was mine again.
Yet, we didn’t rush. We let things go slowly, naturally. And after a while, everything became the way it used to be, even better. I felt like we’d never separated. I felt like the 4 years without him never existed.
Thousands of questions came to my mind. I wondered if this was the right thing to do and if it was worth all the pain I went through. People, too, told me that I shouldn’t get back together with him and that I should forget about him instead.
But, I didn’t care about it. The only thing that mattered to me was him. He was everything I needed and wanted, and there was no chance to let him go again.
There was no chance to let go of the person who showed me what true love felt like. The person who made the person I’m today. The person who was and still is my everything.
Thanks to him, I feel complete and whole.
Thanks to him, my life has a purpose.
Thanks to him, I feel happy. I feel alive.
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.